Good Neighbours

There was a family like this in the village I have just moved from - not because of that I hasten to say! We dubbed them "The Borrowers." It all settled down in the end - not sure how or why as it was up the other end of the village.

We also had a drugs bust with armed police at another house! They were dealing drugs and growing cannabis and the guy was taken away in handcuffs.

And it is the sleepiest out of the way village you can possibly imagine!

I am sorry that you are having these troubles - with any luck they will move away. Every man for himself seems to be the rule in this situation - which is not at all satisfactory. In do hope that things improve soon.

I have seen this situation before when I was a SW - one landlord of a house on a very nice cul-de-sac in town let a property on behalf of a family who had to go abroad for a couple of years as the husband was an army man. The family who was put in there were truly the family from hell - one of them was a convicted arsonist! - and it caused no end of trouble.

I have my fingers crossed that these people will move away and that you are able to mend the relationship with you immediate neighbours.

I don't understand why your immediate neighbours (the ones you were on good terms with) have turned against you as you supported them by complaining to the agent. Are they perhaps being targeted by the bad neighbours and think you are the ones who told them you complained? Good neighbours are a real gift and in your position I think I would either pop round or invite them in for a coffee and get to the bottom of why they are no longer friendly towards you. Hopefully the bad neighbours will soon move on and things can get back to normal.

Have I got this right? You phoned the owner of the house next door but one, with your concerns about their tenants, after your next-door neighbour asked you to support them in THEIR complaints. Then next door told them next but one that YOU were the ones who were complaining.

And you are now annoyed at next door for putting you on the spot. You helped them, and they put the blame on you, so you are getting the flak from the ones who are having to move?

They weren't very grateful, were they? Perhaps the others were too intimidating, and they chickened out of admitting it was them. But you do have to live next door to them, so it would be a mistake to fall out with them. After the others have moved on, say to next door how glad you are that they are gone, but you do wish your life hadn't been made worse by being identified as the one who stuck your neck out - on their behalf. Don't say it as a complaint, just as a comment in passing, and then get on with staying friendly with them.

I do hope you don't get anyone even worse in the house next but one!

I'd talk to your good neighbours and explain how you feel. I too suspect they just chickened out and probably feel bad about it. Get together and present a united front to the landlord.

Are all these three properties rented? And if so do you all have different landlords?

I think it is understandable that your closest neighbours said what they did - they are nearest to the firing line and they are probably afraid - any family with a chained Rottweiler is bad news.

It would be worth retaining good relationships with these immediate neighbours as a priority - you may have to get along with them for many years after the problem family have moved on. I can of course understand your annoyance at this and am sorry that your life is being burdened with these problems.

Totally agree with the last three posts by Elegran Anya and Luckygirl
It is a nightmare having bad relationships with neighbours and so you need to establish happier and better communications with the young family next door who asked for your help. They were clearly frightened! (I would have been too! )
Hope the people next door but one go away very soon and that the next tenants are really nice!

I would have alerted the police to the situation without telling anybody. Hopefully your name would not come out. If they are dealing drugs it needs to be stopped, not just moved on.

I do not think age comes into it. Neighbours of the kind you have causing all this trouble are selfish bullies who will try and get even with anyone who opposes them.

You are not the first person to have problems in this kind of situation and you will not be the last, which is no consolation at all in your current situation.

I think they also need reporting to the RSPCA about chaining a dog up , do they ever walk it ? I would bide your time although I had a bit of difficulty understanding exactly who did what . These things tend to sort themselves out if you don`t add fuel to the fire . Good luck x

I accidentally opened a package which had come to my house but was for my neighbour, the second time I had done this, but I do get a lot through the post and assumed it was mine. I took it round yesterday, apologised for my mistake, only to be snarled at by the guy and the door slammed in my face! I have ordered a sign telling the delivery people that I will not take in post for him anymore which I am planning on putting on my front door or side of door. Is this a wise move or should I just tell postlady/man when they come? I don't want to take another in for him without realising it.

I would not have been happy if you had opened one of my parcels Ruby especially a second time.

So unless you want to fall out with him I'd suggest you leave things as they are BUT I never take any parcels round to neighbours, it's up to them to call for it and there is a card left at their house to tell them where it is.

Presumably. The package was delivered by mistake Ruby so a notice would not help.This has happened to me several times. If something is delivered to our house we assume it is for us.I think you were unlucky. Our neighbour just laughs.Take it round and just leave it on the door step next time.

Actually it's the fault of the delivery company as they should make it clear that they are asking you to take in someone else's package. Mine usually ask my name and then check it's the same one as on the label.

Thanks to everyone for your help and advice. The property that caused all the trouble is the only rented one in the lane. I guess in the 47 years I have lived here we have never had things stolen or feel the vulnerability of someone creeping around your house when you are asleep. Perhaps I should just thank my lucky stars. I do like to always get on with neighbours I am not not talking to next door. I know she was feeling threatened by them and understand that but I would NEVER put the blame on someone else for something I have done. The Police were made aware of the dealing situation when they called at mine over one of the disturbances there. The family are moving out at the end of this month so hopefully we can all get back to normal. Thanks again for your input.

I hope everything simmers down when the neighbours-from-hell move out and have every sympathy for your plight. I also think your immediate neighbours have chosen the wrong path in informing on you as 'complainers' after you had supported them. However, if they are not moving out likewise you might need to grit your teeth and remain on pleasant terms with them regardless of what they have done as the alternative would be far worse. Warring neighbours create misery and have to be flagged up if you come to sell your house. They are on the 'seven things which will devalue your property' list, alas.

The whole situation exemplifies why a detatched house unoverlooked by neighbours is always top of the wish list for those who can afford such a luxury. Hell is, indeed, other people.

Try not to let it make you too cynical about others, though, as that will poison your lives and many others are good, kind people. Your direct neighbours were probably terrified of the newcomers and acted out of fear. They'll probably calm down when the family disappears.

Best news possible that they are moving.

Glad to hear they are moving, it's such a shame when that happens someone I know always vets his tenants. He won't have anybody coming in from the DSS. Only people who work. We live in a block of flats we downsized and bought a flat. We have 4 in our block who rent but all work and pay their rent. So we are quite lucky, we are not supposed to have DSS in the flats it in the lease but some landlords get round it. I know in one of the other blocks there are quite a few and it's a big problem trying to get them out.

Are we to assume that all people on benefits (I assume that's what DSS means) bad tenants and troublemakers? I think that's a very sweeping assumption. Everyone has to live somewhere and I am sure there are many people, in receipt of benefits, who do not cause trouble.

I lived 'on benefits' (income support & housing benefit) for a number of years while I was bringing my daughter up on my own.
I had to rent privately (no chance of social housing) and it was a struggle to find a landlord who would accept someone 'on benefits'.
I hope that I was a considerate and thoughtful neighbour. Eventually I was able to start working and am happy to pay back in to the system so that others who need it can benefit (excuse the pun).

It makes me sad to see assumptions that people who don't work are automatically lazy / troublemakers / criminals etc.

It is a kind of reverse logic - many troublemakers don't work, so it is assumed that all those who don't work are troublemakers

Of course no one 'assumes that all people on benefits' are troublemakers or bad tenants, just some of them.

Some people do make that kind of assumption - one of my neighbours blamed another neighbour's habit of parking inconsiderately (ie, too near her front gate) on the fact that he had been "brought up in a housing scheme" so didn't know how to be considerate like civilised people.

Some people also watch too much Channel 5!

I think most people on Gransnet are on benefits aka a state pension.....