Son's wedding coming up - I don't know if I can go.

It took courage to attend given the family situation and you knew it would be difficult but you did it. it is understandable you have very mixed feelings today but hope in time you are glad that you made the effort. No one can say you snubbed them by not going and no one can doubt the courage it took to be there. Well done. Now as it's early put the kettle on and later pour yourself a nice glass of something. You have a loving husband, a son and two daughters, a grandchild soon to be born very soon, you have a lot to look forward to.

Actually I think that was very rude of the bride's father to do that in his speech. I would have been tempted to stand up and tell him he had made an error! Mins you the woman concerned probably felt a bit embarrassed about it knowing you were sitting there.
I am glad you went as otherwise you would always have wondered about it. If you had managed to stay a bit longer you may have been able to speak to a few other people. Well done for going and sticking out the main part. Maybe your son will have felt a pang of guilt when he realises what he had done to you.

Just read through the posts. So glad you have decided to go. I hope you have a wonderful time x

So proud of you Emerald. You did it. Yes, it was hard but you were there. I can only guess how hard to see grandchildren and not being able to give them a hug. The grief you are feeling today is quite normal. There is a relationship with your son, but not the one you quite understandably want. The top table thing is such a minefield, there was a thread not long ago about it that told stories of pain such as yours. Others at the reception would understand the difficulty for you as will people here. Thinking about it now I am even more proud, you coped with so much and got through it. Please try to remember those moments when people were lovely to you (does that include your son and his new wife?), you have many who understand in your real and virtual worlds. I'm so sorry you are upset today, let your lovely husband look after you and try to reflect on the nice things from yesterday. Above all be proud of your achievement. Sending hugs and and some for later.

Gosh, thank you all so much for your support & well wishes. I sat in the ladies saying to myself that I had an army of grans around me, it did help. I only cried a couple of times in public, once at the actual wedding, which was fine because people cry at weddings anyway. The second time was at the meal when the brides father gestured to my son's step mum when he said the grooms father & mother. My son who got married chose to sit his dad & step mum at the top table, with me in with everyone else. Wish I'd known the plan beforehand so I could prepare, even my pregnant daughter, his sister, didn't know. We left straight after the meal. If I'm honest, I now wish I hadn't gone. Though I know I am feeling very emotional today. I didn't realise that the relationship with the son who got married had deteriorated so badly that I was snubbed in that way. If I hadn't gone I could just have blamed myself for the rest of my life for not going instead of feeling humiliated, I don't know which is worse. They were perfectly lovely to me, most people were. Estranged son didn't acknowledge me & my mother paraded around making a big fuss of my grandchildren in front of me. I need to get a grip really & realise that my mother is a sad, bitter & twisted person & I need to let go of my sons. I can't spend my life hoping for crumbs, which is all I will get. I need to cut ties & move on with the rest of my life. I have two daughters who love me & were so supportive yesterday & a husband who loves me, which I know is more than so many people have. Today I grieve for the relationship I now feel I have lost with my other son.

I've only just seen this and really hope that you went and had a lovely time watching your son on his special day. I hope you felt supported enough by those around you who understood your dilemma and worries and that you can look back knowing you did what was best for you.

Hope you have had a great day and are now dancing the night away ??????

Been thinking about you Emerald, ann is right about that army marching with you. Can I uncross my fingers now?

Have had my fingers crossed for you. Really hope it went well or even OK and that you managed a lot better than you feared you might. Please let us know how you got on.

Hope it went well Emerald and you enjoyed yourself. I've been in similar circumstances at my dd's wedding but I was warmly greeted by everyone although I was a gibbering mess inside!

I am sure it is going fine and I am greatly amused by the idea of the warrior grans in your wake!

I have just played at a wedding where the bride was very late - we had to keep filling in for 50 minutes!!!!!!!

Just come on line so you're probably already there and I wouldn't mind betting you'll have a wonderful day, and be so please you decided to go.

Deep breaths and off you go to enjoy the day. We're all there with you in spirit and

Emerald Good luck, go forth and show them what you are made of! Like ann said, we are all behind you, willing you on and holding your hand. Let us know later how it went. Have a brandy for those nerves too, only a small one mind, just to settle your stomach. Xxx

Emerald stop listening to those little voices in your head and listen to your rational voice instead.
You're a brave, strong woman - keep that thought in your head and smile, concentrate on your son and his new wife and how pleased to they will be that you are there.

Back sraight, head high, chin out and when you walk in just remember all that army of grans who are walking in with you, an invisible army to support you. You alone will know we are there and that we are your strength. Then just enjoy it.

The big day is here. Yesterday I felt reasonably chilled about it, probably because I've had a busy week & not had time to dwell on it. This morning I'm a mess. Can't stop crying, feel sick, panic setting in, worried about stupid things like my outfit & shoes & crazy stuff that my rational mind knows will be fine & I'm the only one who'll notice if my hair isn't just right & my shoes are pinching. In 12 hours I'll be back home, in 12 hours I'll be back home....

grandMattie Their loss.

Please go. Remember, you can only be hurt by someone if you allow them to. [Easier said than done, I know as I'm completely estranged from both my sisters, who pretend I don't exists. Not invited to weddings, no news, nothing for 15 years... ]

Otherwise you will regret it for ever.

please, please go. You may regret it forever if you don't. Hold your head high, go with those that love you and support your daughter - who also loves you.

Well done Emerald. Try and enjoy the day and not worry about anyone else.. I do so hope you enjoy it.

Good for you Emerald. You hold your head up high as every proud mother does on her son's wedding day and have fun.

Good decision Emerald, and you will be fine

Ladies, you are all amazing. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to post a reply. I am going to put on my big girls pants and go to the wedding. He is my son, he wants me there, I will go & hold my head up high. You've all helped me to see that I CAN do this. I'll report back when I've been

Oh Emerald, how I can relate to you, amazing. You are certainly not alone, my Daughter and eldest Son are 2 of the nastiest people you could ever meet, they lie, take and never give but to "so called friends" who eventually stop seeing them, and they came to my house regular, ate the food I cooked , always took stuff but never invite me to their homes, they have lied about me so much that I recently told them to keep away and I will not entertain them anymore, I have another son who phones me every day, he also has me stay at his for weeks at a time and there I see 2 of my Grandchildren, FOR YOU...if you feel in your heart you want to go to this wedding GO, if you feel YOU don't want to be there DON'T GO, those who love you never leave you, you do whatever you FEEL you really want to do and God Bless xx