How would you feel?

I have to start by saying that my OH has adult ADHD. Where we live there is no support for this - only support given is for children and my OH is 63. People think that it means he is running around all the time, can't sit still etc. but in some cases - like his - it's his mind that runs around. For example he cannot go to bed until he is about to drop with tiredness because his mind won't stop whizzing. He blurts things out that are inappropriate and dosn't stop to think about he says. Like many others on the autistic spectrum he dosn't have much empathy for other people. Life is difficult at times but we have been together through some tough times and good times too.

One of his problems is that he loves flattery and attention, he soon tires of it, but loves it anyway. Two years ago he went to visit his brother in Canada. They hadn't seen each other for 25 years so it was quite an emotional time for them both. I did not go as I am saving - very slowly I might add, to visit my son is Australia next year and going to Canada did not interest me all that much. I expected that OH and his brother would have plenty of things to talk about and indeed they did and went sightseeing together. In the local pub there, the same people tended to congregate and OH got talking to a single lady there and they got on well. They only met on that one occasion but when her posts kept appearing on his facebook page, and she was very complimentary toward him, I realised that they were in touch via internet.

In a month's time, OH is off to Canada again to attend his brother's 60th birthday party. I really did not want to go, though I could have done - still saving for my once in lifetime trip even though OH said he would help me with the fare etc. I'm afraid I am not really bothered about it. However, I saw a few messages between OH and the woman in Canada - along the lines of can't wait to see each other again, and he has bought a suit which is something I have only ever known him to do once in the whole time we have been together, not even for a wedding or other event. I still have no intention of going to Canada, but I am really scared now. This woman is new to him, flirty and obviously stroking his ego. Something is going to happen between them I'm sure and I feel sick at the thought.

If I bring it up he tells me that if I go on about it, then it is a 'self fulfilling prophecy' and he wishes I would shut up and stop being so jealous. He trusts me totally because he knows that I am not the kind of person to do anything behind his back, but of course I don't have that luxury. I have stayed away with friends in London for a weekend, been on a couple of hen weekends, on holiday with 2 friends and my sister, and other men just don't interest me at all.

How would you feel? How would you tackle this situation? I know perhaps I should be going along as well, but I just don't want to, going to Australia will be a big thing for me as I hate travelling, flying and being away from home but I want to see my son so badly.