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Another wedding problem

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eddiecat78 Sun 25-Sept-16 08:12:31

We have a very difficult relationship with DIL which means we have hardly any contact with grandchildren & limited contact with son (although we still get on well with him).
Next year, DD is getting married & is adamant that DIL should not be invited. In reality it is quite likely that DIL will decide not to come but if she is not invited I know she will use this as another reason why we can`t see the grandchildren & will make it more difficult for our son to see us.
When I try to persuade DD to change her mind she becomes very distressed - she hates DIL for everything she has done to our family & does not want to have to face her at the wedding.
Since everything blew up between us & DIL (for no reason) I am very nervous of any sort of conflict with family members & don`t want to upset DD. I have promised that if DIL does come I will keep her away for DD & make sure there are plenty of photos she isn`t on. (Bizarrely - when we do see her she behaves as if everything is fine between us so she isn`t likely to play up on the day.)
Our main hope now is either that DIL will tell DS that she definitely won`t come so we don`t have to invite her - or that DS & DIL will have separated by then (which is possible)

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Smileless2012 Tue 27-Sept-16 14:01:03

Now a decision has been made I hope everything goes well with her wedding eddiecat. Perhaps your d.i.l. wont attend and everyone will be able to relax and enjoy the day.

As devastating as it's been sally I am thankful that we never got to know our eldest GC and of course have never had contact with his little brother. To have built a relationship with your GC, as I know many have, and then to have them taken away is much harder than never having got to know themsad.

I also believe that if these narcissists are given enough rope they'll eventually hang themselves. I may not be around to see it but it will happen eventually. As for our EShmm. Perhaps one day he will see her for what she is unfortunately though he's changed so much, almost beyond recognition, that I really don't think a relationship with him in the future is likely.

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Lewlew Tue 27-Sept-16 20:22:51

DIL might plead 'sick'... there's a lot of colds and flus always going round and no one would think it rude as they live far away. Son can still come with the kids

Glad things may be evening out... and hope for smooth sailing! wine

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