I want to retire

Yes mine too gretel my DH was encouraged to give up his job after suffering a period of very ill health. His job involved s lot of travelling to and from Europe and he just couldn't do it anymore. These days he would have received some kind of payoff . The thing is he is a very quiet ( dare I say nice) man and really is not cut out for running a business. He thinks too much about other people and has never charged himself out accordingly. He is s much sought after Electrical Engineer and if I had a £ for everyone someone tells us we should be millionaires I would be one.

Could you afford to hire someone part time so that you could at least cut your hours down? I realise that it is not the same as the change of lifestyle that you get from totally retiring (which I totally recommend although it takes time to get used to) but might get him more used to the idea of you not being there all the time.

I can see that your OH has assessed that the stress of work is worth it in order to afford his hobby, but........what about you!?

Could he get a pilot's licence? And get paid for flying?

Hobbies, OK I can see how a PPL can gobble up £500/mth, but he will have to give that up eventually, unless he is super fit he will not get through the medical. Does he have his own plane or hire them?. I trust he takes you to some interesting places. I have to make do with flying model planes now, much cheaper.

Thank you Smileless2012. What an achievement to run a family business for such a long time. Yes I do think it will have to be a compromise. Friday afternoons are quiet so I will start with finishing at lunchtime on a Friday.

So very sorry Alygran.

I've been reading the posts out to DH. We have our own business too, established by Mr. S.'s great GF in 1890 and sadly it will end with Mr. S.'s retirement.

This thread has reminded me of how fortunate we are, Mr. S. set to retire in 2 or 3 years and in the meantime has and extra day off a week which will become 2 in the new year.

It's a balancing act isn't it, trying to gauge what will be needed for a relatively comfortable retirement and having absolutely no idea how long that retirement will last.

Perhaps a compromise could be possible gretel, if not bringing retirement closer, having a proper holiday once a year and a reduction in the number and length of working days.

I wish you well.

Alygran I'm sorry about your DH news. I hope there are people/family near by to support you both through this difficult time. Please come back and post here. There may be nothing we can do or say apart from listening and sharing experiences but it can be cathartic to just 'let it go' by writing it down. It's better than holding all those emotions in. Your right we should all learn the lesson of making the most of the day.

Alygran - so sorry to hear the sad news you have had today - I wish you all strength to carry you through the difficult times.

So sorry too Alygran, gretel seems like it's a choice your husband doesn't want to make yet but perhaps you should rethink. Time to enjoy life a little, your husband has his hobby what about you ?

I am so sorry Alygran.

Teetime you speak wisely. I retired early 3 years ago, DH followed, also early, six months later. Determined to enjoy our retirement we had fabulous holidays and enjoyed our hobbies to the full. DH was hospitalised in August with suspected complications from longstanding Chrons disease. Today we saw the oncologist who talked about advanced cancer and palliative chemo. Make the most of every moment you never know what might happen tomorrow.

I'm sorry Luckygirl to hear about your husband's PD. Life can be very unfair.

midgey, we are both healthy (neither of us on any medication) and apart from husband's expensive hobby I think we could live on savings until pensions are paid. No one knows what the future holds which is why I would like to retire.

Oh, gillybob, I do understand and I'm sorry that you are in the position you are in. There are advantages to running your own business but also disadvantages. If my husband had stayed with the multinational company he worked for, he would have been able to take early retirement.

eddiecat78, I want us to retire together. Maybe that is because we have worked together for so long. My husband wants to retire but he doesn't want to give up his hobbies. Your friend writing herself a large cheque made me smile. Good for her.

Well Done morethan2, I think employers are well aware that they do well out of part time workers. We have a casual worker but all her work is logged on timesheets.
Retirement is a big decision but people we know who have retired seem happy and don't miss work.

Oops organise the finances! Sorry

OH has PD - our retirememt is not as we had hoped.

Your OH is under pressure from his work, driving miles etc. - all the sort of stresses that cause men to have heart attacks the minute they retire.

Sorry to be blunt, but life throws stuff at you whether you like it or not and you really have to seize the day.

You will be surprised how little you can live on.

Life throws shit at you sometimes as we know only too well.

If he was run over by a bus someone else would have to the finances! If you both hate the job give up ......but retirement can be pretty boring unless you are both healthy and have enough money to do the things you hoped.

Oh me too Gretel, me too. Slight difference from you though is that DH would love to retire too, but we can't. We still have a mortgage and have already downsized. In the past 20+ years we have run our small (engineering) business we have ploughed almost every asset we have ever had into keeping it going (hoping it would pay off in the end). We have no occupational pensions left to speak of and almost no spare cash whatsoever. Luckily neither of us have expensive hobbies and neither do we have an expensive lifestyle. My DH will be 65 in a few weeks time (I am quite a bit younger but feel physically worn out) and he is presently working a 14 hour day 6 (sometimes 7 days a week). He "jokes" that we do not own the business the business owns us and that it will see us both off eventually. I don't think he is wrong. Sadly I can see no end to it.

I know it is easier said than done but I think it is time for you to be a little more assertive. You have as much right to a retirement as he has a right to go flying.
We did have one friend who got so fed up with her husband refusing to retire that she wrote herself a very large cheque on the business account and left! Don`t let things get that bad

I work 31+ a week and used to cram 40 hours of work in. 2 years ago I timed each piece of work and added it up and was horrified that it amounted to over 40 hours and that was not counting admin. I went in the next day and discussed it with my team leader and said the work load was too much and she agreed (she didn't want to but it was there in black and white) I didn't ask to cut it down I just did it. If I was given too much I simply took it back saying I couldn't deliver it safely I had no capacity. I followed it all up with a nicely worded email. So it was traceable. My life been so much easier since. I still think about retirement but it's such a big big decision and one that's probably permanent.

Hello PamelaJ1 & Wobblybits, The hobby is flying small planes which he has been doing for 23 years. Expensive medicals and a share in a plane, landing fees etc. Not very time consuming.

Hello Beth61, I think that is why is I have always worked full time because a lot of people who work part time do as much work as those working full time and only get paid for the part time work. Your husband is very lucky to have been at home for 12 years.