Do I carry on as I am ignoring this playground stuff?

I couldn't agree more with what others have said. I've got quite a few 'friendly aquaintences', some of whom I've known for years, but only a couple of real friends with whom I can discuss anything. We laugh together, share our joys and sorrows and cheer one another up when we are down.

We had a group of about twelve friends at one point, years ago, having moved into a new area and met them over a few months - one couple introduced other friends and so on. Gradually, over the years, little differences between various people escalated into hostility, and I found, to my dismay, that my kitchen seemed to be a place where at least three of the group would gravitate, alone, a couple of times a week, each going on relentlessly about how awful x, y and z had been to her, what had been said etc. It miserable to listen to, time consuming, and utterly pointless as any effort to put a better spin on what either x,y or z had said was met with further outbursts of related injustice and 'hard done by' tales. I began to realise that some people actually enjoy this kind of thing; they get a buzz out of trouble, and can't be happy unless someone is being crucified by inches. Inevitably it was our turn, and one woman who had sat in my kitchen weeping and wailing for hours and told me I was like a sister to her, suddenly decided she didn't want to speak to me any more, in spite of my never having taken sides, or repeated anything. This was years ago, I still have no idea what I said or did, and we moved away a year or so later. The old friends that we have known for ever were still there, and still are. Take heart - these things are often unexplainable, and spring from the tortured goings on in someone else's head. Trying to get to the bottom of it all - therein lies madness.

A true friend is a great rarity. There are people who cross our paths throughout our lives, some we walk alongside for a short while and others for a longer time.
Groups of friends can be the most problematical particularly when someone infiltrates into your circle and gradually replaces you in the group. It is not an uncommon phenomena.
It is good to keep things casual and not let relationships get too intense but this can be easier said than done. Keep a wide spread of friendly acquaintances in future.

Sadly, I understand exactly how you are feeling as we have also been there, it makes you very wary.

'Scoff it and Scarper' Marvellous!! ?
Some folk are just weird. Don't fret on it, just move forward and be happy.

How childish to move their chair and turn their back on you. I definitely would just let them get on with their 'playground behaviour'. At least you will find out who your true friends are. I would not get any further upset about what is going on behind your back. Move on with your real friends and leave them to get on with theirs. You have had a lucky escape.

SallyDap I know it hurts just now, but over time I hope you will see that actually all that has happened is that you've found out who your true friends are. My daughter was at the centre of rumour and gossip-mongering a few years ago (big-time stuff that was in the newspapers). Many of her 'friends' deserted her, but those who remained and supported her through a terrible time have continued to be stalwarts. It was quite shocking to my daughter (though sadly not to me) that some people believed the lies unquestioningly.
I hope that you can put this behind you and take pleasure in the real friendships you have.

I was brought up on a council estate 20years before it became notorious, we were taught to consider others and think about our effect on others before we did anything. We had standards and morales but not much else. We are mass exponents of the pay it forward campaign. I'm not trying to come across as some sort of Quaker, we just do and did things for others because it is/was nice and the right thing to do at the time, not for some rewards that might happen, another description now possibly being Mug! So all this bullying, spiteful behaviour and general nastiness is alien to me. I'm lucky that all my life I gravitated towards like people and my closest friend (of 43 years, since we were 18) is also like minded, we don't quite believe some things we see, not accepting that the bad behaviour is quite real and really happening. (Do real adults actually behave like that, surely it's a joke?) I think we both need to harden up! I need to stop looking for the nice in people and become more suspicious. But I don't think you'll ever stop me supporting others when it's needed.

there are folks who will always stab you in the back when you do stuff they perceive isn't fair...their behaviour you have to learn to ignore and move on from. Dignified silence is best..those who know you should be able to make up their own mind though there is tendency for silly sheep behaviour...move on set aside..in the grand scheme it'll do you more harm stressing about this behaviour.
Your health is the most important and looking after yourself.
My ex best friend really knifed me..took my husband, sent dreadful emails accusing me of x y and z..probably slagged me off to members of his family who i had known from the age of 12(his sister was school friend)...I moved on, had to and now do not have contact with any of them.

Do you live in a small village Sally? One of those pretty ones where everything looks lovely? A friend came round for coffee yesterday and told me a tale very similar to your own. She lives in such a village and it's very cliquey. She's such a nice caring person and very easily take advantage of and feels very silly to have reached the age she has and still be taken in. (Worse still for her as one of her faux friends is her mother!). As has been said there are people get a kick out of befriending someone, controlling them and taking advantage and then upsetting and ostracising them. It's a form of control. They have nothing better to do in their sad little lives and you're better off away from them.

Several years ago I befriended a woman at work. She was new to the company and was going through a difficult divorce. We started going for coffees where I provided a listening ear and then started to socialize with her outside of the office. She started to ring me a lot at home so I tried to step back a bit as it was getting too much. Later she started to become disruptive at work and became unpopular with other staff members. She was given a warning and told everyone she believed that I had complained about her.(I hadn't ). Soon after she was sacked and all the people that had disliked her rallied round her and refused to speak to me. Looking back I believe she had become mentally ill but although it's all been forgotten now and my colleagues are fine with me I can never forget how their attitude changed and they ganged up like children in a playground. I am retiring at the end of this week and can't wait.

Grandma, it's the very quiet taking over of your life that's shocking isn't it, scary how easily it's done and then you can't believe how quick other people you thought you knew so well are to listen to the rubbish coming out of their mouths.
Enjoy your retirement,
Dumpling, we are part of a small community during the summer months, I got to the point where I looked forward to winter, especially as my BH wouldn't listen to me for nearly a year after I'd clocked their sponging behaviour.

As they say "Good riddance to bad rubbish ". You've had a lucky escape. Try and ignore the others who are mean to you. Maybe they'll soon learn what the couple are really like.

It often seems that small communities get cliquey and stupidly juvenile. Stick to your old friends who properly know you and don't believe rumour mongering.

Leynbo,Synonymous and Rosina have each said all I'd have said. Steer clear of these people - and don't introduce them to your other friends.

BELIEVE ME - They'll hate it.

But be utterly cool, and polite, but, move on.
I've done this and it works- beautifully!!