Invited but not wanted

Life may be too short to care what others think Helena but it is not too short to care what the impact of your decisions and behaviour may have on other people, or their feelings.

If someone else is going to be hurt or upset by what you do or don't do in your selfish old age, then perhaps you should stop and think whether or not it's worth going to something that really you'd rather not do. Especially it it really requires very little effort.

I decided some time ago that I was now too old to go to events that I did not want to go to, I have never been much of a social butterfly, prefer small gatherings with friends but DH is one that can chat to anyone and I usually found myself on my own.
Life is too short to care what other people think and if you will be uncomfortable when you are there do not go, it is just not worth putting yourself through it

Posted in the wrong thread and because there's no edit button I can't remove it sorry folks

If you don't want to go don't go. Since when was it up to you to make it alright for everyone else? You are all adults and you matter as well as them.

You could decide to have a prior engagement.

You could just turn it down (gracefully of course) and explain to the person going who loves you that you never feel comfortable at these gatherings. (If it gets back to the organisers they may want to reassure you that you are welcome or decide not invite you to other such gatherings)

If you do go just decide to put on a brave face and brazen it out and escape as soon as reasonably possible.

Is it a coincidence that the thread showing up straight under this Theresa May one is entitled A good knife Lol

I wouldn't go at all life's too short to be doing uncomfortable things I ve done it and regretted going why live a lie just politely refuse and as someone said if you don't want to be truthful just have a bad tummy or something

Oh skweek1 I think you are very wrong people often do what they think 'looks right' in the eyes of their friends and neighbours not necessarily what they want or are feeling I m sure Luckylegs has summed it up perfectly she has been before and you always can easily tell if it's not a genuine invitation

Believe me, they wouldn't have invited you if you were't welcome. Go, show willing - enjoy and you may find that bridges get built. If your worst fears are fulfilled, you can always make your excuses and leave after a tactful period!

Wouldn't go,have been in this position,went through a sense of duty,regretted it the minute I stepped into the room and couldn't wait to leave,life's too short x

Are you sure the person who invited you doesn't really want you there??

Why do you assume you are not wanted, Luckylegs?
Just go, and try to enjoy the company of the person who loves you.
Is it that you don't really like social occasions and the 'feeling unwanted' gives you an excuse not to go?

If someone else that you love very much would like you there, do it for them. It's only a few hours.

Oops, let me try again -

I'll write you an Excuse Me note. It's not worth getting in a tizz, raising your blood pressure, cortisol levels. If someone loves you very much they wouldn't want you to suffer, surely. flowers

Come down with a "nasty virus" that you didn't want to spread to everyone. Or food poisoning...

It's difficult, we were invited to a family wedding recently. My Sis.in Law has not had a pleasant word to say to me in over 30 year, that's when she can be bothered to speak. I went to support DH. It was clear that we had not been expected to turn up, but were invited because we were a good touch for the monetary present!
I felt awful, angry and just wanted to leave, but managed to be polite until it was a reasonable time to go.
It can be done, but I wouldn't do it again. Life's too short to be so upset!

I am the same, usually go then regret it!

Explain your feelings to the person who loves you very much. They will understand and support you because that's what loving someone means.