Should I be getting into all this stuff again ??

Thankyou all who replied , it has helped me get thing in perspective . One date does not a relation ship make ! I will just enjoy the time we spend together without any expectations .

My best friend died early last year and within 3 months he had a lady friend also in her 70s to meet and spend time together. They are getting on so well its lovely to see and both pay their own way for everything. Good luck and take enjoyment from his frienship

If you've only met up once, aren't you jumping the gun thinking he will want to take it much further? Like some others here I think he just needs a friend at the moment and by the sound of it, so do you. Not all relationships between men and women have to be sexual so go out with him and enjoy it for what it is.

I agree with schnackie, how you doing? Done all that you have and my goodness the men,s excuses are beyond far fetched. Owner of own chartered boat, fell between the boat and quay could not contact you for a while. Car transporter driver finished my mileage quota. Needed rest. You name it I,ve had it internet dating. Never again, just having a ball enjoying my own company and just love gransnet❤ xxto you all

We know a lady in her seventies who has a gentleman friend and they go on holiday together. She is very upfront and insists on single beds as 'there will be none of that nonsense'. It seems to work for them and they have good holidays together.

Have a great time

Thanks for all the lovely replies.
Just to clarify a couple of things , when I first got in touch on Face book there were lots of comments from family about the death of his wife so I am positive that this is the case . I agree so much about meeting in the day time and going Dutch , I am used to my independence so would not want a man to pay for me anyway . I feel a little more confident since my OP , and we have spoken everyday since (online) I have told 2 of my 4 children , the 2 that I think will be the most OK with it, the other 2 can wait a little longer to see how things go . Lovely to hear that you are in a similar position Martha and thanks for the luck . It may seem like I am jumping the gun, it is only one meet up and I really intend to take one day at a time but it really is nice that someone enjoys being with me and the compliments which he lavishes on me are such a confidence boost at my age !

F77ms I also find myself in a situation not so dissimilar to you. I had no intention of ever changing my single/independent status but fate has other plans for me. A man has come into my life and very slowly we are becoming very close. I have had sleepless nights and had to really examine very closely is this really what I want for myself and I have to admit that yes it is. So I'm not fighting it but letting it happen and come what may. And I'm really enjoying the warmth and friendship that is brewing between us. Still cautious though as it's still relatively early days. So I wish you good luck and yes I always insisted on going Dutch.

Companionship

f77ms whoa there, you are way ahead of yourself. He has just lost his wife and you and he have met for coffee and a chat FULL STOP Take it for what it is and enjoy it Dont book the church.

Treat it as the friendship it is and take your time. If he wants to take things further and you don't that's fine just say no.

He is not too worried about his vulnerability because he has stepped out of his comfort zone to meet with you. I am more worried about your vulnerability. Please don't invest too emotionally too quickly,

AS others have said various ways. What exactly do you now a about him that is accurate? But nothing ventured nothing gained. Proceed with caution and sense.

I feel terrible as no one else has had this thought (or at least commented on it), but I have been divorced for many years, tried online dating on and off and it has never worked out. And ONE of the reasons it hasn't is that some men have the ability to lie like rugs, - you would not believe the lies some can spin! You see women getting taken for money and all sorts (Fortunately I am too poor to get taken for that scam!)
All I'm saying is, do you have any proof that the man's wife is actually dead? The line "...lung disease that eventually killed her in her sleep" just rings bells in my ears.
Paranoid?? Maybe. But I prefer to check things out before I believe them.

Go for it - enjoy his company, see how it develops, it's lovely to have male friend you can share things with but don't push it or let him try to push you into something you don't want.

I have a male friend, known each other for nearly 30 years, we keep in touch on Facebook & occasional phone calls, meet occasionally & have great fun when we do, we live 300 Miles apart

I have another Facebook friend who I have never met but we have long conversations (bit like the old days of pen pals), we will meet some-time I'm sure - will it lead to anything? I don't know!!!

I think the majority of the posts are right. Keep it friendly, pay your own way and I think I agree with J52, make it daytime meets at present. Also I wouldn't do the " too soon for a relationship" bit yet! That suggests you have thought about it! You can always go into that if he seems to be steering that way! Keep it friendly and enjoy!

I think hooking up with an old friend sounds great op ☺
I would relish a bit of excitement ?

I'd really like to have someone to meet for coffee. Let him know that you're not necessarily looking for more than friendship. Enjoy your meetups & see where they take you.

I would say continue to meet up with him if you enjoyed yourself and he would like to. There is no reason for both of you to deny yourself pleasant times together and it doesnt necessarily mean you will be 'dating' now or in the future. That will be for both of you to decide. I have a male friend who I meet for lunches and coffees on a non-romantic basis and we really enjoy ourselves. A year or so back we discussed whether we wanted to take it further and decided we didnt, so we both carry on with a lovely friendship which enriches both our lives.

Take it slowly and enjoy having a nice male friend to meet for coffee, dinner and maybe theatre and films. You are both finding your single selves again and there's no need to go any further or faster than you both want.

You can't pre-plan a relationship. Carry on. Have fun!

I haven't posted on here before but I read comments with interest. Why not be honest with him? Say that you're not looking for a relationship at present and that you feel it is probably too soon for him to think about a relationship. So how about we just be friends, each pay our own way and see how it goes. Try not to be a crutch for him whilst he gets over his wife. Unfortunately the person who is there to help them back on their feet tends to be discarded as they remind them of the unhappy times they've been through. Then someone else benefits from all your hard work. Keep it casual, coffee/lunch/a walk. Don't expect too much from him & look after yourself to try to prevent being hurt.

Just enjoy his company and for the time being meet him with the same expectations you would have of a female friend.

I agree with those who have already said to pay your way. If it feels a bit akward to divide the bill then insist on paying the next time you meet.

Maybe you could keep future meets to daytime, coffee, lunch, art gallery or museum. Meetings in the evening; dinner, cinema, pub, seem to be more like dates.

Companionship for you both sounds a good idea.

Do you feel comfortable with him? Is the time spent with him fun? If so, then why spoil a lovely friendship by worrying about the 'what might happens'. Enjoy today.

However, unlike a previous poster said, don't expect him to pay for everything. It's not nice or the right thing to do. You wouldn't expect a female friend to pay for everything.

Whoops .... make each other feel

Overthinking is something I am guilty of like all the above posts say enjoy each other company and just enjoy how you make each feel