No presents this year from my ds and dil

doesnt make me sad and i see no reason why it should, if you feel sad about it Anya you can always buy me a gift

In our family we have a £10 limit for adults at Christmas. How lovely that they are coming to spend time with you

Mums jealous of their children? Don't see any evidence of that on this thread. A small token of appreciation is not much to ask as mumofmadboys said.

If your children don't buy you, even a small gift mumsy then I find that sad.

Christmas eh? I think a token gift fir you would have been acceptable after all you are his parents their not exactly on the breadline are they?

Not all mums, I know my son and family appreciate me, I dont need a gift from them, just knowing they love me is enough.

I certainly don't think a lot of mums are 'really jealous of their children'. Mums just want a small token of appreciation at Christmas, that's all!

Reading some of the posts here there seems to be a lot of mothers being really jealous of their children because they are well off having holidays, cars and own their own house.

I think the OP was over dramatising her comments and as others have said theres a deeper issue going on there. Dont expect anything then you wont be dissapointed!

Just one year I was informed by my 2DS and DD that they were only buying for the children. Fair enough. (My DD did buy my a present tho.) I was fine with it all - we all had Christmas Dinner in a restaurant together - but in the evening my DS2 called in wearing a very expensive coat that his wife had bought him and he went in and on about just how expensive it was and how much he had spent on his wife. My comment was how nice it must have been to have a gift to open no matter what it cost. Then it dawned on him that Santa had missed dear old Mum!
I know it really doesn't matter as we were all together for most of the day but I childmind GCs at the drop of a hat and have taken leave from work to accommodate when needed. I love my babies and their families dearly and will do anything for them so a little gesture in return at Christmas means so much - especially if the GC have made something!!

Also the implications of this plainly are a big deal to the OP. You can't tell someone how they ought to feel. People's feelings are their own.

The point is that the OP feels so far down their list of priorities. She's feeling hurt. Its not that she wants presents but that they don't seem to have thought about how she might feel.

Hey Scousegirl, it is nice to get a gift but it's really ok if you don't get one.

I have two amazing sons who love me dearly but don't buy us presents. We don't mind a bit. I still buy gifts for them because I find it hard to break the habit, I can't seem to find a cut off year and I really can't afford. They wouldn't mind at all and have said many times not to bother as Christmas is all about the family get together, the meal, the games etc.

Then there is my SS and SD. SS is absolutely lovely and he doesn't do presents either. We still get him something although he too has told us not to bother and I know he would be absolutely fine with that.

SD on the other hand has disliked me for 30 years and has pretty much hated me for the last 8 of those, putting in an increasingly worrying amount of effort coming up with new ways of letting me know just how much. But...she never misses buying me a gift!

So, is it really the thought that counts?
Are you really higher up in someones list of priorities because they gave you a gift?

I found it interesting that you used the word "heartbroken" and also that your Son would walk out and never see you again if you spoke to him about it. That sounds very extreme, is there maybe a bigger picture we don't know about?

I hope you're feeling better now that you've had a rant on here and have come to terms with it.

It's honestly not a big deal, enjoy your family time

No respect for nobody these days , I would be livid x

The spending their inheritance was a 'joke' ...a bit of lightness and humour!!

Really?

One thing I have seen on this thread is that many posters( Not all)
have said not to buy them anything wither, and to spend their inheritance, That is terrible in my opinion, sirely we give presents because we want to, not just in order to receive something in return.

I think that is a terrible attitude

Am talking in this instance obviously where there seems to be little thought for th OP, not saying we should'nt admire where our children have done well in different circumstances

"Admire their smart cars" "See pics of their homes" Oh please!!! That sort of advice is how offspring get so spoils and thoughtless in the first place!

Please don't stress, they've saved you the worry of what to get them! We told ours long ago (1S + W+ 3 Gc; 1D + H + 2 Gc) that they'd far too much to do coping with their hectic lives today, so no pressies for us - we've got too much stuff already, because we've been around so long. We're also mortgage free so prefer to give them cash for Christmas and birthdays. This is so useful because the young now have so little liquidity but do have credit cards, student loans to pay, and those huge mortgages! We also love to take them out for meals or have take-away so that we can chat and laugh rather than cook and worry. That's the best gift - talking to them about their lives, enjoying them and the moment they're with us and telling them how brilliant they are and how proud they make us feel! So as they're coming to you for part of Christmas, you'll have lots of chatting and catching up to do and don't forget to admire their smart cars, ask to see pics of their homes and activities on their I-phones. Just enjoy!!!

Like many have said before, we do a Secret Santa amongst the 6 adults in the family..we have a spend limit and buy/receive one gift. The kids get gifts from parents, us their grandparents and from their Aunts/Uncles . Enough! Whoever is hosting Xmas asks 'guests' to bring something (e.g. crackers/ Xmas Pudding etc) to ease the cost of the day. Christmas is about sharing good times with each other not spending money on things you do not need!

LouPn you have missed the point. She is not being touchy. Her upset is perfectly understandable. Their money is NOT tight because they have a good social life and go away for weekends as they told their parents, so it is very mean of them not to buy their mother and father a Christmas present. If I had to choose between lots of weekends away and an active social life, I would cut down on those to ensure I had enough money for Christmas presents for special people like parents who have done so much for them. If they had a stag do and wedding to go to the weekends away should have been postponed until a later date/cancelled/reduced.

Anya - I quite agree, I'm not stopping buying my children presents just because they're now grown up! I love giving them presents.
I stopped buying for nieces and nephews once they got to about 18 and were earning and instead buy their children presents, otherwise the list will grow and grow! So far I only have one great niece, but if my nephews and niece have more children I could end up with maybe another 8 to buy each year, plus my daughters could have 2 or 3 children each. I'd have to cut down on how much I spent per present. So far I only have one granddaughter.

Jane10 I don't think your last post is very kind. I don't think you can start generalising about someone else's children giving or not giving a present and whether they will help scousegirl in her old age! We should be trying to support scousegirl and help her feel better about her situation rather than making the situation feel worse. I hope scousegirl you have a lovely Christmas and your son and wife come with a small but thoughtful present for you.

I just don't see the point in boat-rocking. I won't be seeing my eldest and DGC anytime over Christmas, as the DIL is joined at the hip with her family and the ALWAYS have the whole shebang together. They live in the same town and the whole family seems to move as one, like an amoeba. Following Christmas, they all go on holiday together. I have to travel the 500 miles to visit them (fair enough, they have babies), but they have never made the effort to visit even before children. I'll be sending gifts for all, and food for Christmas, but there will be no reciprocity except a phone call on Christmas day. But Christmas is not about expecting or demanding "stuff", and it's certainly not worth making a fuss.

Crikey wish I was perfect {shock}

I would definitely take them a small present each. If they say 'oh we haven't bought any presents this year', just say 'that's ok'. What ever you do don't risk having any sort of rift between you and your son. It's not worth it.