daughters who wont make up,,,,spoiling my life what can i do

It sounds like your sister has told her DH something about your mother loopylou . True or not and they are holding it against you and other sister too. Obviously the husband will speak to yours as perhaps not involved in whatever it is/was. Families eh?

My two sisters haven't spoken to each other for at least 18 years, no one knows what caused it in the first place.
It's so bad that if one's visiting my parents the other will turn round and walk out. It breaks my mother's heart.
One sister has now stopped talking to me (god knows why, I don't!), won't answer the phone, return calls, reply to texts etc. She's ignored my DH's birthday this year so obviously he's persona non grata too!
Her husband is incredibly rude, always has been; he ignores my DM, just talks to DF ?. Luckily I rarely see him but her behaviour is puzzling.
As DM said, she's always had to be right about everything and anything so perhaps that's behind it?

My other DSis is absolutely her opposite thankfully.

What an awful situation to be in, I really feel for you. Know several people whose adult children do not speak to each other, but they see them at different times. I am no expert on family dynamics, but if I had a husband, I think I would just have those important occasions like Christmas and big birthdays with him, If one or the other ask why, I woukd say you love them both equally and know you mustn't get involved, it is for them to sort out, but you find it stressful. Please all look after your health first, nothing worse than this kind of stress especially as you get older, it is out of your hands what they do. ?

I feel for you and I am sorry you are going through this. I am afraid it happens. I am on the other side of this one, as it is my husband who does not speak to his eldest and middle brother. In our case, his mother pretty much sides with them and they do not care if my husband is not involved in family events, and I think it is very sad, as I am an only child and would give teeth to have brothers or sisters.
I sometimes wonder why my MIL doesnt seem to give a toss that her youngest son is not wanted, and I know my husband would love to be part of the family, but it is simply not meant to be. If we all got together, my husband would be heckled by his two older siblings until he lost his temper and then he would be blamed for the upset. We do speak to the sister, and we have a slowly growing relationship with her, but I cannot see the happy family card ever coming into be.

How I can relate to this very sad situation. I have three adult sons. The eldest and youngest do not speak to each other and this has been going on for over ten years. I do not get involved and do not ask them why it happened although I know it was very acrimonious at the start. We had a family business and feel sure there were grievances there. It breaks mine and my husband's hearts. What can you do? I say I respect their right not to speak to each other but secretly I absolutely hate confrontation and just cannot face addressing their problem after so long a time. It is the most horrible "elephant in the room". Christmas/birthdays/Mother/Father days all have to be celebrated twice to accommodate both sides. Son in the middle stays neutral. My husband recently had a heart attack. During this worrying time I realised the awfulness of the situation even more. I was worried about visiting times at the hospital and stressed myself out worrying how I would cope if sons came face to face. As I get older I worry about if my husband dies before me how I will handle the uusituation of a dysfunctional family getting together. This scenario happened to me at my mother's funeral and it was dreadful. I am sad beyond belief that this has happened to my family. Coming from a dysfunctional family I was resolutely determined that when I had my family I would work very hard to ensure we were happy and united. While we were all at home we had a most lovely and united family. Sadly now this has broken down and there is simply no resolution in sight. It would not be so awfully bad if on important family occasions they could just meet and be civil to each other - for our sakes if nothing else. My husband is 70 next year. I am torn between saying that I am not planning a special celebration as we cannot all be together at the same time and let them know why. Our sons do not know how very sad we are about this heartbreaking situation. I do not want them to feel blackmailed or put under pressure to speak to each other again. As adults I respect their rights to their own opinions...but what about ours?

Hard as it may be, you can't dictate the relationship between grown up children. My older sister and I wouldn't dream of spending Christmas Day or any other day in the same house. I explained to my mother years ago that I could not play happy families with my sister when she is liable to scream at me for no reason and has made me ill in the past. If you have a good relationship with each daughter separately why not settle for that and enjoy two days en famille? My husband and his siblings all got on well but his mother realised it was much better to see each couple with their children on different days when she could enjoy their company and have quality time with them.

Oh I feel for you Angiebaby. I really do. I agree with those who say you should try not to get involved with their arguments with each other and try your best to maintain an independent relationship with each of them. (Easier said than done I can imagine) . If either of them "bad mouth" the other in front of you just say that you do not want to listen to "their side of the argument" and tell them that you have said the same to their sister. Maybe you do sympathies with one more than the other deep down but you really need to try not to let this show. Is there perhaps something quite serious happened that you don't know about? Or is it just a case of two spoiled sisters who each think they are right and won't be the one to back down. Is there some jealousy involved? Is one better off (financially or lifestyle) than the other perhaps? Either way, such a shame for you, DH and the wider family too.

Do try to keep good relationships yourself with both of them, don't talk about one to the other and just hope they can sort it out in the fullness of time. I have two nieces (sisters) who do not speak to each other and I know launching in and trying to get them together would backfire on my relationships with them. I hope one day they will realise what they are missing and will settle their differences.

You can not dictate their relationships.
For whatever reason. They as adults have decided not to have each other in their lives.
You need to have two independent relationships with them. Treat each one as if the other does not exist.
No one is forcing you to do anything. Go to one or the other or neither.
It is not your place to try and force them to socialise. Unless this is what they both want it could seriously backfire and you could become collateral damage to one or both of them.

Have a break from it all. Tell them you will spend Christmas on your own as it will be more enjoyable and relaxing than constantly trying not to upset anyone.
Token gifts all round and tell them to sort it out. Sometimes tough love is needed and as parents we cannot always be popular.
Enjoy a quiet Christmas with your husband.

This is horrid - I do feel for you. One of the greatest joys in my life is that my 3 DDs would cut off their right arms for each other. I do not know why they are so close; we have just been lucky. I cannot think what I would feel if we were in your situation - you have all my sympathy, you really do.

Do you know what set all this off?

They probably enjoy the feud. You are a bit stuck then.Are they a bit spoilt?
Money[or lack of it] might just make them see sense.

Poor Angie , I would just have none of them on the day and go out to a nice hotel for a change , do you see much of then the rest of the year ? Christmas is just another Sunday dinner when you think it through . I doubt you will make much headway if they are determined to keep up the feud