We talk less, should I worry?

We have been together for 44 years, but do still have a lot to say to each other, but also do have companionable silences. As for the issue with the TV, buy another TV? then you can each watch what you want - works for us. I am disabled, but my husband helps out a lot with friends [hosp appts, gardening etc] so we still end up with lots to converse about. My husband does not 'do' computers so we do not have an issue there, but if there was I would get a laptop, or tablet.

OH is losing his voice , I turn down the. TV to make out what he is saying , this pm he found the breath to yell at me to not turn it down cos he wanted to watch it and I slammed out . Had to creep back to turn it up for him ,

One of my favourite songs:
www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/billyjoel/justthewayyouare.html
He did change his mind about that one though .

My other half has long said he loves me being there to not talk to. No, I don't have a problem with that.

It is a standin joke when I go out with girl rounds, you look round the restaurant and you can tell the married couples, the font talk. On a recent flight of over 4 hours, the married couple next to me never exchanged one word. But they are there for each other, so it must be just that after so many years and you are together 24/7 companiable silence is the norm. My husband and I never stopped talking, that was because we both worked and had other interests, who knows if that woukd have stopped if he had retired. I wouldn't worry Sunny, he sound absolutely normal. I bet if you did the dance of the 7 veils in front of him, he would have something to say.

My husband of 42 years can spend hours and hours on u tube watching people driving stupidly. It really does pissmeoff annoy me. I've threatened to confiscate his tablet. What's worse he'll sometimes want to show me what he's watching If I need to talk about somthing important or just want to rekindle our relationship then we generally go for a long walk. As somone touched on I think his deafness has had a massive impact on his social skills.(he has had a hearing loss all his life)

My OH never a uses one word when 25 will do... Sounds quite a common phenomenon.

Skweek1 - I can identify with your comments. OH is fairly quiet, but if you ask him question you NEVER EVER get a straight or simple answer. He has an obsessional scientific brain and wants everything exact. I have been known to ask him a question and preface it with "You have got one sentence in which answer this and no more!"

It is difficult with the little GC as they ask him something and get answers that are so convoluted that they do not have a hope in hell of understanding. I finish up saying "Do you really think they can understand that?" He will say to our 19 month old things like "You must not do that or you will cause a surfeit of mess." Just say no in a firm and kindly voice!!!

He is getting worse as he gets older. Sigh.

DH not a chatter, often we are quietly companionable, although I chat often with friends and family. HOWEVER, have often 'lost' him for a while only to find him talking 19 to the dozen with a neighbour- perhaps after 37 yrs he's said everything to me!

My late husband, we were married 27 years, could talk a subject to the enth degree, bored me rigid. My partner now of 10 years hardly speaks at All! I must say the quieter one is easier to live with. We have our own interests and are very comfortable with each others silence. Our best chats are out walking, but that's about it. I love the way we are, very relaxed.

Whatever suits you is fine. We still talk quite a bit, on a range of subject, family, friends, politics, theatre, various groups we belong to, some together some apart. We walk together but also belong to a weekly walking group and usually walk with other people then. We have some shared and some separate interests so there is always something to chat about. Having said that we also have our separate spaces, my studio and his office, so don't spend all our time together. I've always thought it important to have some separate interests and friends, then hopefully if something happens to one of you you could cope better.

we've worked together since before we were married ,so spent a lot of time together,Maybe thats why we have so much to talk about,43 years in July we've been together and a year before that whhen I was his boss...lol

My DH has always been a believer in talking only if you have something important to say. Having been into desktops and then laptops for about 40 years (he was early into microprocessing, it was his job) he is normally to be found glued to the internet. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I am also now to be found glued to my iPad. Companionable silence most of the time when we are on our own. Well we have been together more than 45 years.

When there is something to talk about, we do. Generally amicably.

I agree with the people who think separate interests are good. My husband goes bowling and tells me about it when he returns home. I volunteer in a charity shop and am also rather good at 'lunching with friends'.

The same situation here, I was glad to read we are not alone in this situation. We do spend a lot of time on our computers,and DH sits in front of the TV each evening from 6pm until about 10pm, I can look at a programme then happily go to my computer, we do talk, but mainly about things that interest DH, he has recently joined a GYM and when he comes home he talks non stop about it, until I say "we have covered that now, would you like to know what I have done today"I think its good to have ones own interest and this gives a bit of space to both, and seems to work.

Like someone above my husband argues with the radio or TV, very loud, nonstop. Then he turns to me and asks what I think - woe betide if I say I disagree! On and On.
But we do converse a lot, he says more than me, I'm more of a listener.
We always discuss before making any biggish decisions.
Sunnysusie I wouldn't worry - you're still together, that's the main thing.

Perfectly normal I would say. Then again it has been 45 years for us.

It does seem strange though that I can chat for literally hours to my friends ....

My dh never shuts up, literally. Sometimes I read online newspapers and he'll ask me to read out the headlines but after each headline I have to listen to his thoughts on the subject and then he's saying "how long will you be on the computer, I want to check my emails LOL He's the same during movies and TV shows. he truly believes that television should be used as a conversation starter whereas for me, sitting down to a movie is an escape or it used to be. Ironically after he has talked about whatever is happening on the TV he'll say to me, "what's happening, what's he or she saying?" "I don't know because you were flipping talking"

Don't know where that U came from! Is it a U turn or just non-U. Did it come Under the surface? Maybe U know!

I think it is quite normal, as well as a blessing, to sit in companionable silence. One of my widowed friends says it is a very different kind of silence to that which she now U endures since she was widowed.

I so understand just what you mean skweek1! After all why use one word when 500 will do! Added to which DH so often gets the wrong end of the stick and can even be 'agreeing' fervently with someone saying the complete opposite! Fortunately we all have a GSOH!

I spoke to a friend once who said 'we love to sit in the garden with a glass of wine' I said 'after 50yrs what do you talk about?' she said 'we dont because they have said all that they needed to say' I thought it was a lovely comment. Myself I live on my own and perfectly happy with that except xmas day! Then I get up and spend the day with my grandchildren.There is always a silver lining.

H has never been a conversationalist. I feel if you can sit in companiable silence it's a good thing. We do talk but only when there is something to say, the fact that we are both retired and spend most of our time together means we have limited topics.

It's a standard family joke that if someone asks DH a straightforward question, he gives a convoluted reply, e.g. "What's an aeroplane?" wanting the reply "It's a flying machine" he gives us a highly technical history of flight, including the science of aviation, aeronautics etc. That said, we have always been more or less telepathic since the day we met and don't necessarily need words to communicate - a good thing since I suffer from considerable hearing loss.

We are always talking and were once asked if we were newly married, the waitress said she had never seen an old married couple who chatted the way we did. We have been together 53 years and married for 49.

we talk all the time ,in fact we say our family has to fight for airtime as we all talk so much.My OH and I have worked with the public all our lives and its been a veru sociable woork life so plenty to talk about and now we're heading for retirement ...well about 4 years away....we seem to have more to say about our own lives ,we discuss politics...he was never interested before the Independence referendum ,but now a staunch supporter,the only thing we dont talk about is Christmas,he's not a fan and usually says dont go overboard when I talk about presents for the kids ,but we'll never be the couple who sit in silence in a restaurant ,theres far to much of interest to both of us ,long may it last.I really believe being interested in life in general helps keep your mind active and keeps you young