New year, new life ahead!

Can't believe we're almost at the end of April! Thought I'd just post to say that the decree nisi came through a few days ago. Still a way to go, but I still feel positive about my future. Got some more paid work, so am pleased about that.
My solicitor and I had sight of soon-to-be-ex husband's financial statement a few weeks ago. What a joke! Many sections left blank, no details of new partner's income or assets and no signature or date on the form! My solicitor says no way will the district judge accept it so he will be ordered to do it again properly by a given date or face financial penalties. No idea why he's stalling in this way, probably just being wilfully obstructive.

Glad to see this update, madaboutbooks! Your x is an idiot but you're holding your own very well. Good for you!

I'm sorry, glad he's past history. You deserve better.

Good to have update. Well done and stay strong.

Hi all, quick update to say that I changed the locks again and he has now been told that if he comes here again and tries anything similar then I'll be applying for a non-molestation order. That will have enraged him!

After dragging his heels, he has now admitted the adultery charge and has agreed to pay a proportion of my costs. He saw my unreasonable behaviour statement and must have been so shocked (well, after all, he couldn't really have shared the details with his new 'love') that he said he'd contest it if I went along that route. My solicitor advised me to pursue the adultery line so as not to prolong the process unnecessarily. I'm not sorry I put a statement together, however. He knows as well as I do that every word was true and that I could have cited many more examples!

Apparently, he's now using social media to try and justify his behaviour to anyone who'll listen! Yawn!

I'm just getting on with my life. I've managed to get through January and I'm hopeful that a new month will bring better things - AND it's a step nearer to being rid of him for good!

Hope you're all well.

Can never understand why they think they're going to a better life and then won't just sod off. Possibly life isn't quite like he thought it was going to be. Oh dear!

So pleased you have a good solicitor as mine protected me from the worst excesses of my ex's behaviour.

Meanwhile you get on with being amazing! xx

Dear Madabout, the previous respondents here have covered your situation beautifully. However I found the business of the locks being changed back by your husband rather scary. May I suggest that you get internal bolts fitted to your external doors without delay so that you are secure when in your home. Best wishes for the future.

What a cheek he's got!Keep strong.

Thanks again, all; just been reading the most recent posts.

Still no response from him to my solicitor's requests (made on 28 December). He entered the house last week (he knew I'd be away for the day so took it upon himself to come along). Discovering I'd had the locks changed must have enraged him because he called out a locksmith and changed them again so he could get in. When I got back home he'd left a smug note on the front door letting me know the new key was with the neighbour opposite. Well, let me just say this was like water off a duck's back! Of course I reported it all to my brilliant solicitor that night and received a prompt response the next morning. Suffice to say, if he attempts to enter the property again my solicitor will advise me to apply for a non-molestation order. He's been trying all sorts of ways to get to me - not directly, but via others - but I've just ignored it all. Too busy getting on with my life, still sorting finances, paperwork, etc. but also organising my new social life.

Surely he can't be doing himself any favours with such behaviour?!

Got to go!

Well done and Happy new you

Well done you belong to a strong band of women who have risen from the ashes

Good luck for a happy and fulfilling future xx?

Well done madaboutbooks. You're well shot of him and you sound fully able to build up your new life.

Well done, and happy New year!

You're so strong. It's brilliant that you've slapped the blame right where it belongs. So many of us blame ourselves until the light dawns.

I love your comment about him being slow to respond (thinking it would make your life difficult) has actually given you more time to plan.

Life is so good once you are free from that sort of mill stone. Be prepared for his whinging and begging when the new woman gets fed up and kicks him out. Stay firm. So no when he begs to come back.

Good Luck Mad you have your head firmly screwed on and I suspect in a years time your life will look so much better . Good for you. !!

Best of luck! Stay strong! I agree with Grannyben that there will be "highs and lows" but, in the end, I'm sure you'll be so much happier than you have been in a long time.

Sending good wishes to you too. I'm sure you are going to have many highs and lows but try and stay as strong as you feel now. Life can be good again and you deserve so much more than he gave

Sorry, this is the first time I've logged in again since posting.

Thank you all SO much for the messages of support; I really appreciate them.

I'm very fortunate to have great friends far and wide, a lovely family and a supportive local community to help me through all this. I truly believe he was planning to divorce me (no idea on what grounds!) and of course he maintained that he didn't want to do all this on Xmas Day, but that I 'made him' (yeah, right!) but it seems I scuppered his plans and while he was apparently busy posting photos of his 'new love' on social media and letting anyone who'd listen know what he'd done, I was busy talking to my solicitor! Well, that seems to have panicked him as he has taken more than a week to respond to my solicitor's requests. My solicitor chased him again on Friday and had a reply via his solicitor's firm to say that he's made an appointment to see them in the middle of next week. Dragging his heels somewhat! Well, all I can say is, thanks for the delay, pal, because it has given me time to do even more sorting out and forward planning!

And of course I've had all manner of whingeing texts ranging from curt to polite to well, just plain pathetic really! I don't want ever to communicate with him again!

Another point in my favour is that I've good academic qualifications and am able to put them to good use through freelance work. Got my own separate bank account anyway and although I may have to count the pennies for quite a while to come, it is SO worth it!

Will try to log in once a week until things start settling down and then a bit more often.

In the meantime, best wishes to all!

Thanks for the welcome, Charleygirl! (Tried to bold the name according to directions but it didn't work for me.)

You will I hope find a new life that does not involve you being treated as less than you deserve. Well done for picking up the pieces and lots of good luck for the future.

Wishing you well, make sure you get some sound financial and legal advice. Good luck.

Starlady welcome

See the solicitor, make if official, sort the finances out, move on and enjoy your life. You sure don't need him. Good luck.

Hi! I'm new here, so I don't know you. It sounds like you've been through a lot. Sorry your husband ruined Christmas but it looks like you have an exciting new year ahead! Congratulations!

Get a solicitor, make sure you are ok financially. That will help a lot with your new life, I can assure you