How Can Anyone Diagnose Another Person Mentally Unless They Are Qualified ?

Can we ask what your "label" is, as I assume you have one and were given one?

say a woman describes a sexual situation she feels she had no control over, but feels like she somehow is to blame for it.. and outsiders read it and say "sweetheart! that was rape! you were raped and it's not your fault"
- no they're not forensically proving she was rape, but they're giving her the language tools to work through it

So if someone was gaslighted and emotionally abused, and an outsider reads it and says "it sounds like narcissistic behaviour" - they're not "making a diagnosis" they're just giving the victim the language tools to help them from blaming themselves!

Ankers, yes, a person who is qualified makes the diagnosis, true.

Notanan, the difference is rape, rape victim and rapist are all negatively wired. Most labels are unless you're a world class sportsperson or high achiever. So my point is if you label a child, they can grow up with negative view of themselves.

Ankers, I was labelled dyslexic as a child.

What exactly do you mean by labelling then..maybe that is whee we are at crossed purpose!

A child had a diagnosis of ADHD, a school knows, a GP knows and the family knows but the child is not referred to as ADHD Jim!

Do you mean that some parents want the diagnosis of ADHD to explain why their child does not behave well? I have certainly met parents who were unable to set boundaries for a child and felt they had ADHD and sought that diagnosos. If the child was able to behave well in school, organise themselves etc. my report would say that clearly. Drugs that can help children /adults with ADHD will not help any child who finds it hard to behave.

Notanan, the difference is rape, rape victim and rapist are all negatively wired. Most labels are unless you're a world class sportsperson or high achiever. So my point is if you label a child, they can grow up with negative view of themselves

I was compairing the language tools uses for rape victims with the usefulness of such language tools for victims of adults with narcissistic type disorders

I'm not even touching your child/ADHD posts with a barge pole. That was not what my "rape" language example was about.

Penstemmon, I truly think labelling of a child is a sad way to deal with the problem.

When I was at school, I was summed up as dyslexic. This got around the school and I was bullied every day, called stupid and my life made very difficult. To solve the bullying the teachers made me sit on my own at the back of the class. This label of dyslexic was followed by the teachers also referring to me as a lesser pupil. This badly affected my need to belong and feel that I fitted in. Being labelled simply put me on a different planet never mind school and what I would like to say to all of you is that unless you've also been labelled, you cannot know what having a label feels like.

That's why I feel that labels are wrong.

I know people who have been trying[and finally succeeded after 8 years] to get at least two "labels". They can now access the hslp and support they needed for their child for the last 8 years.
The child is too badly affected by the way to really know or care about having a "label", but the parents need them and needed them.

Sadly, it is all now too late. They and the child cannot get that time back again.

Well I started this post because I thought the random, unqualified labelling of a person as a narcissist was wrong. I feel labelling may be a way to name a problem. But it shouldn't be a title that affects or defines a person for the rest of their lives.

This thread and the 'Labelling Children' thread are becoming confused. I think people are posting on this one when they should be posting on the other one...

(some people, that is)

Ana, I'm done. x

But it shouldn't be a title that affects or defines a person for the rest of their lives.

If someone escapes a relationship where they feel they were a victim of narcissistic behaviour, and that is the language that they feel helpful to talk throught their recovery from a harmful relationship, how is the language the victim uses (expecially on anonomous support threads online which your OP is about) affecting the person they're talking about in any way whatsoever?

Yes, Notanan, what difference does it make if the victim thinks someone is narcissistic, alcoholic, depressed or what have you? The victim is merely seeking recovery.

Exactly! A rapist doesn't have to be officially convicted of rape with professional forensic evidence to back up the title for a rape victim to use the word to seek others who understand the experience. That's not labelling the rapist or affecting his life, it's about the victim labelling his/her experience so that they have tools to work through it

Someone who feels gasslighted doesn't have to have had their abuser sectioned and diagnosed as NPD to find the language a useful way to connect with others who understand.

nina in many ways your school was forward thinking. Dyslexia was really only an accepted term in the 80s. Pity they did not also have good systems and strategies to support you to learn to read /write more effectively!
In the past children deemed to have special needs were not always supported well. I would hope that any child with a diagnosis of dyslexia today would receive specific support to make learning to read less of a difficulty.

Penstemmon, the diagnosis and the label were wrong. I am a published author with a book on sale around the world. They got it very wrong and I know they still do.

You are convinced you are not dyslexic?
I presume you do know that there are authors with dyslexia? [I am not saying that you do or do not have it].

Personally I cannot see how you can want to take labels away from other people everywhere based on your one personal experience which seems to have worked out very badly for you.
Or even feel the need to take the labels away.

They must actually help millions of people around the world I would have thought.

I also often think that it is a bit dangerous to compare things even 30 years ago, with now. About almost anything in life. So much and many things change. Life changes at a very fast pace.

Ankers, you seem to be heading down a different path now. You're resorting to the classical tactic of picking up on what you perceive as my vulnerable weakness and latching onto it.
I am not dyslexic, not even mildly. It was a wrong diagnosis.
I have lived a completely fruitful and productive life once I told 'my expert' where to put his diagnosis.

I think I've exhausted this topic now. I'm back at work tomorrow having got over the flu. It's been interesting to read the comments and views. It's always good to see how others think and see life in a different perspective. I personally will never agree with labelling a person, I think labels limit the mind and the expectation of that person's real potential. This is my own view and I respect others may wish to differ, which is healthy and what debates/rationalisations are for.

Thanks for the discussion.

Ankers "I presume you do know that there are authors with dyslexia?" of course, my nephew is a pilot with dyslexia, people can be trained for anything with dyslexia.

I wasnt going to post any more about this, but I think I must for your own wellbeing nina1959.

When something goes badly wrong in a child's life, often when that child goes up, he/she becomes determined to make the same mistakes. Fair enough. But often in doing so, that person goes to the other extreme, which in itself may be just as "wrong".

In life, the middle road in a lot of things, can be the best way to go.
Good luck

Have you actually got a diagnosis from a qualified person to say that you are not dyslexic?
That might make you feel a whole lot better?

BettyB is correct to point out that a diagnosis of dyslexia can be given the appropriate support to achieve their goals. We all need to be careful not to use our own difficult experiences to generalise. I worked throughout the period when 'labelling' was seen as always a negative for children. Thankfully, professionals and most parents, people, are more well informed now, so don't dismiss a diagnosis as a negative label. So many gransnetters speak positively about the help given to family members once a diagnosis is made.

Ankers your posts about "labelling" would be more appropriate on the thread on that subject.
Unless I have got it totally wrong, this thread was started to highlight the growing tendency to use unqualified diagnoses of extreme personally disorders even suggesting mental illness, not to identify people who need therapy bit to cut them out of a family relationship and dismiss them from one's life.
Like all threads it has developed and moved on, but it is not about dyslexia.
As there is a thread on "labelling children" why not continue your argument there?