What a nasty spiteful cow...! Yes, me, that's who.

I feel like this sometimes. Honestly jealousy/envy is completely normal. The people who have the problem are those that don't recognise these feelings. We do and deal with them. I just hide the fact I feel like this. They do make me feel horrible and sometimes bad tempered. Thanks for your honesty it's made me feel better. Just don't let it eat you up. Ps I've been wondering where you'd got to Rowantree I've missed you. I always found you very empathetic and supportive. Here's a little (((hug)))

You re brave to admit it we all have feelings we wish we didn't and I guess we all at times have to swallow stuff and smile and say well done it surely happens in many families including mine Don't beat yourself up I personally think you are quite normal you don't mean the boy any harm I m sure just needed really needed for things to be a bit evened up
I think you just have to be a bit of an actress and do the congratulations stuff then go have a shower and cry with the flowing water until you feel better get it out your system ?

No not nasty or spiteful, it's just part of feeling low with your depression.
Wish him well with a card or email message. We all have feelings of which we are secretly ashamed, you are not alone. Please get some help for your depression so you can enjoy life again

"Nor"

Envy is normal - we all have to deal with it at one time or another and for different reasons. So do not beat yourself up - that helps no-one. Least of all you.

But you do have to find a strategy for dealing with this, so, when you have stopped feeling bad about it, it is time to think it through.

You cannot ignore this lad's success, not can you say nowt. Perhaps you should send your congratulations in a way that is not face to face - email, card etc. - then when you are feeling a bit less emotional you will be able to face him and your SIL. Give yourself some time.

I think that's a natural reaction if you and your children have not had the same sort of success. A bit like someone who cant have children expected to congratulate a pregnant sister (I know an example of that). A bit tactless of your SiL to crow about it, but again entirely natural and she needs to share the news with someone and who else except family?
If you can manage to send a card or text saying congratulations, well done or that sort of thing it would be easier than speaking to them I think. By the time you see them your and their feelings might have moderated a bit. We are all human and cant always help our emotions!

I know how horrible these feelings are, Rowan. Unfortunately, you are the only one who is being hurt by them and if you let on to your sister, you will be hurt even more. Take a deep breathe and send congratulations to your nephew. Then stand back and let them get on with the celebrations. After a while you feel better and perhaps be able to understand why this good news set off such negative feelings in you.
It's a very fortunate person who does not suffer from jealousy at some time in their life and it's a bugger to overcome. Good luck ?

I come from a family achievers and I am most definitely not a high achiever and neither are my DC.
But I have ways sent cards of congratulations and always given praise.
It is hard as there is the 'if only'.
But remind myself that I have had 35yrs of happy marriage.
None of the high achievers have managed this, so there has been a cost to pay.
I am immensely proud of my children
And I love all my family, high achievers included.
I do understand where you are coming from.
It is perhaps the fact that your nephews achievement has underlined some 'if only' in your life.
Bit like rubbing salt in to wound.

Congratulate yourself on recognising how you feel and facing it head on.
You IMO have been very brave.

Your feelings are entirely natural and you are very brave to share them.I think you might be being helpful to others.

Perhaps if your sister always does better in life than you do, it has caused these feelings.Did your DC not go to good universities, and you feel resentment?Envy is normal but not to be nursed, try and stamp on it, your nephew has done well.
At the very least, send congratulations.

You feelings are perfectly normal just keep them from the family. Sorry I can't offer advice. Sometimes we have to suck stuff up.

Jealousy is a natural emotion within us all to some degree, just like every other emotion. But it is up to us how we deal with it. I am no expert and I'm sure there are a few professional on the forum who might help.

If I ever feel the tinged of envy I try to remind myself of the good things that I have. Your nephew may be very bright, have worked hard to gain his place and will have hard work ahead of him.