Estrangement / Cut off Mum

Who mentioned 'ownership' Bibbity? Apart from you of course.

Goodness, such melodramatic discourse; "She tried to spread her wings and you suffocated her"; what a load of rubbish.

But that doesn't give you ownership of her. Maybe that's why she pushed away. She tried to spread her wings and you suffocated her.

Yogagirl. Perhaps you're right eddiecat and we should feel sorry for them, sorry for anyone who comes out with such a load of unsubstantiated nonsense.

I see from the previous page that Yogagirl hoping her ED would allow her a few moments with her GC is regarded as an ambush. It doesn't seem to bother some posters that these children are being denied their right to have contact with their wider family members.

i suppose we should feel sorry for them - they must have had really horrible lives if they have ended up getting more pleasure from being unkind than from trying to be helpful

It`s hard to understand why some posters get enjoyment from provoking and generally behind unkind to those of us who are already distressed

Yogagirl indidnt read all thread but I have no time for the ignorance and total lack of empathy with some posters read what fairydoll said on other thread.

So very sorry Sparklygran got your name mixed with Starlady

Thank you so much for defending me Smileless
Remember Bibbity and others, that my D&GD lived with me before her now nasty husband came on the scene, we had a very close & loving relationship, So from that to not even being able to say 'hello I love you'! and for no reason other than his & his mother's jealousy of my love for them!

Wendysue moderates grandparents.com American forum

A poster told me and I think she posts as starlady not sparklygran

I went on this site so know its true,

Yogagirl I am SparklyGran not WENDYSUE, and I have only come to Granset recently AND I have posted about being estranged from my DS DiL and DGC regularly since I joined.

Being estranged affects me deeply, I don't know where the idea has come from that it doesn't affect me?

I cant imagine how my posts have offended, and I thought I am pretty unique, not sounding like anyone else?

I will now guess it is the first one!

If Araabra doesnt really mean it - try to ignore it.

If she does mean it - well most people know that to be hugely wrong. So again ignore it!

And then again, I can't get over your assertions either.

Araabra - I can`t get over your suggestion that being denied contact with your grandchildren is "a small storm". Everything in your life can be going beautifully - you can have good relationships with other family members, lots of lovely friends, plenty of hobbies etc etc - but when this happens you feel as if your entire life has been derailed. Your memories of a happy past seem false. Your assumptions about happy times in the future are thrown into chaos. Don`t you dare tell me that if I just keep busy everything will be fine

yogagirl isn't it starlady who is wendysue?

So she wanted to ambush her? Is that what you're saying?

That's horrible.

Smiles "it's the AC whose behaviour is totally unjustified who are wrong, overstepping the mark and are exhibiting toxic behaviour." Why would you say? When AC ask for distance and cessation of contact, why not do as AC ask?

Oh for goodness sake Araabra there's nothing toxic or overstepping the mark about sending gifts and cards even if you've been asked to stop contact. The poor little mites never get them anyway do they, because their parents make sure they never see them. Those estranged GP's that do send something for birthdays and at Christmas, we just send cards, do so because it's the only thing we can do.

I'll tell you what the common themes seem to be, that 'there's no smoke without fire', that EP's and EGP's 'must have done something to deserve it'' that AC who refuse to have anything to do with their parents and take GP's away from their own children are without blemish, blame and responsibility. They are the poor innocent victims of cruel and manipulative parents.

We some AC do have good reason and some don't and it's the AC whose behaviour is totally unjustified who are wrong, overstepping the mark and are exhibiting toxic behaviour.

Did you actually read Yogagirl's post Bibbity? She didn't go to the school, she went to the park adjacent in the hope that her ED would allow her to give her GC a kiss and a cuddle and tell them she loved them.

You want to talk about 'overstepping the mark', how about getting the police onto your own mother and accusing her of trying to kidnap her GD..

Bippity *"Yogagirl. Were you invited to the school? Did you make your daughter aware you'd like to meet?
Or did you just turn up?
Because if that is the case you massively overstepped."*

The common theme, here, is GPs can do no wrong, overstep whenever suits, send gifts and cards when asked to stop contact, TOXIC behavior.

Yogagirl. Were you invited to the school? Did you make your daughter aware you'd like to meet?
Or did you just turn up?
Because if that is the case you masisvivly overstepped.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I had the same thing Boditree When this first happened I went to the park adjacent to my GD playschool, I thought my D would let me just give them a kiss & cuddle and to tell them I love them, it was just a day after Mother's Day too. But I didn't get anywhere near them, as my D ran back into the school. But next day I had the police round and had a PIN and a warning of an harassment order put on me, I was accused of trying to kidnap my GD, when I hadn't got near enough to even say 'hello'!

I think there is a poster on this thread here whose regular postings is not worth taking.

The situation the op and many others describe is like brainwashing, or perhaps is brainwashing?

My sister was going down that route, but thankfully, he started falling for someone else, so broke up with her.

I couldnt believe what was happening before my very eyes.

He was going to go further than some and have her live somewhere very isolated.

"The only thing the OP can do is to just keep going, putting one foot in front of the other, enjoy the love of her DS's family and never ever give up hope."

Brilliant

I think the answer lies in the middle. Withdrawing from life, considering your life utterly ruined and sitting around dwelling on your grief is not a good thing, whatever the tragedy that has blighted your life.

Taking your courage in your hands and returning to life, your previous activities, even developing new ones so that you have less time on your hands to dwell on your grief, can help. But in the end, it is the will of the individual to not let their grief and loss define their lives and to build a new life underlain by a sorrow that will never leave them that shapes your post-estrangement life.