Estrangement / Cut off Mum

What have my daughters dhs mums to do with me? Nothing.
Well, for a start they are the other grandmother to any grandchildren you may share and the grandchildren will share her genes too.
So you have that in common.

The other thing is that they could become a good friend.

I'm quite confused. Why are my lovely daughters being raked for something they have no voice to? And further why am I being questioned about something with no effect to me? I am perfectly happy with my life.

Well, I could use less age (72) and a lot more money.

I never said anything but the sils co their mums. IF I wrote it wrong, I am sorry.

MY sons in law co their mums. Clear? How does this affect me?

Ohhh, so it's the SILS'S now Norah?

celebgran I liked my mil and fil, but, effect to post?

celebgran I loved my MiL and am still gutted that she passed 12 years ago....I would never have thought of cutting her off from being an active loving grandmother for my DS, the more LOVE around for a child, the better.

I considered it my responsibility to make sure my son went and stayed with her (post aged 11 -12) as well as my own parents.

Maybe thats how DiL's felt in times gone past.

Sorry Norah if I misread you.

I think nina meant the joy of family i.e. Expression. Fruits of your labour ?
I agree your can't possibly interfere.

However me being me I bet I would say something as of course those of us who are cutmoff know the agony of it,

It's weird to. E as I love dear my f imlaw like a dad and miss him terribly likewise my dear. M i law.

Further, I said we had 3 sets of GPs. Us, and both our sets of parents.

What in the world is a "fruit of family"? We have none I know of.

celebgran ...IF I said my daughters co anyone, I wrote wrong.

However, I don't think that is what I said. My sils co their mums.

What have my daughters dhs mums to do with me? Nothing.

It's quite clear Norah as nina says with your daughters cutting of other grans you are the sole one enjoying fruits of the family,

It clearly suits you to have that u healthy situation,

Norah your clearly said your daughters have co their mother in laws

Or rather you said s i laws have but surely your daughters would have say In This? I was extremely close to my m i laws.

Oh no, not so, nina1959, none of our daughters have co anybody. And until recently we had 3 sets of GPs. Us and our mums and dads. And I don't know about and fruits to our family?

This is not what I said at all - "Norah, it seems odd that all your daughters have cut off their MIL's. That leaves you as the sole grandmother and matriarch to enjoy all the fruits of the family."

To be honest Bibbity I'm glad to be free of all the manipulation that seems to go on in families today. It's difficult for those that are estranged but having witnessed those families that are 'together', walking on eggshells, being afraid to say no, being a slave to rules and regulations (whoever taught them to speak to their parents in such a way???), and if you dare to utter the wrong word or have an opinion, you too may be cut off, I honestly think I'm in a better place! It's the grandchildren I feel sorry for but other than this, I don't miss my AC.

Here's to freedom!

That's fine. Just know that you risk them turning around and telling you to mind your own business.
As Norah has stated. One MiL was never on the scene in the first place. So how is that Norah or her daughters fault?

Norah, it seems odd that all your daughters have cut off their MIL's.
That leaves you as the sole grandmother and matriarch to enjoy all the fruits of the family.

Bibbity, if I saw the unfair or unreasonable treatment going on towards another family member, I wouldn't hide my head in the sand. Sometimes I think it suits the other side of the family when one side is cut off. Well I don't think, I know it does. It makes the favoured side just as bad.
But don't get too comfy, things can change.

Why would Norah involve herself in a situation that has nothing to do with her?
Why should she risk her relationship with these adults?

Her SIL are presumabley adults? And so able to govern their own relationships.

To be clear, my sis CO their mums, it's none of my business.

celebgran My daughters dhs mums are not of my concern, we don't really know them. Would you know them?

How very strange Norah and how sad that u don't appear to care about m I laws cut off as long as u ok!?

I would be very worried if my son cut off his m I aw it isn't normal or pleasant behaviour and for all 3 to do this ?.????

signals to us of their discomfort (what I tried to type)

nina1959 No, I disagree. We would know if our daughters were sad or bothered, signs to us would make us unhappy.

Norah, you wouldn't feel any effect would you? You're not the one cut off.

Madgran77 I think one dd is CO to her mil recently, two dd were co to their mils for a few years, and my eldest dd has never met a mil. Sil CO to mil a number of years before dd met sil. It's vague to me, but that's my understanding. My dds all seem to do well and not be bothered much by dhs decisions regarding mils, that I know (after dhs put a stop to toxic). No affect is felt by us.

Yogagirl I'm not saying my daughters all CO their mils for their awful toxic behaviour - it seems only the ones with a relationship can CO another. I do assume my sils CO their moms. It seems one was CO to his mom years before my dd married him, she has never met his mom. No affect to me and my dh.

Good post again Nina