Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.

" These friends" are all of us who dare to post on this thread without permission.
I personally am pleased to have so many intelligent friends who can be rational about most things.

For heaven's sake- there was NOTHING nasty in absent's FACTUAL comment. It was an item of INFORMATION.
If anybody remembers I think it was Nina1959 wrote about the many websites which take AC and GUIDE them through the whole procedure of CO and we have had MN types (sorry, that is offensive I suppose to them) whose attitude is clearly that the parent/grandparent is always in the wrong.

But talk about seeing offence in every word.
(Who ARE these "friends anyway?)

I read absent 's post simply as an alert to anyone who might not be aware of the research.
In what way can her very neutral post be criticised as nasty?
You seem to think there is a concerted effort to gang up on you and that simply isn't true.
This defensiveness doesn't help your case.

eddie are you suggesting that children of "truly toxic parents" are rarely estranged or did u mean that ""truly toxic parents" are rare?
I have not heard of this research but it may be very credible and one aspect of the research on the bigger impact of toxic parenting maybe an enquiry about estrangement rather than a narrower focus on just TP & estrangement.

Absent why are you posting then if you have absolutely no interest?
Can't resist a nasty comment like your friends?

Exactly eddiecat how riediculous

I know for 28 years (and have cards and letters still full of thanks to prove it ) even a Mother's Day card wishing if she is lucky enough to have children hope she will be half as good a mum as me!)that I did all I could emotionally and financially for my children. My son appreciated it and sill does sadly m daughter didn't,.

Lots hope research is done into toxic posters and estranged children?

We have sad day today my dh dispenser funeral and he was only 71 not that old nowadays,

It makes the futility of cruelty to parents like we have experienced somehow worse, life really is too short

I don`t think we need to be worried - there`s pleny of "evidence" in these threads for All of the reasons why estrangements happen. Any credible research would quickly discover that it is rarely down to truly toxic parents
Any "research" focussing on only one aspect isn`t worth taking seriously by anyone

Just for the record – and I have dared to venture into one of these threads once or twice before with a warning – these comments and those of the earlier threads are now being used for research purposes into the phenomenon of so-called toxic parents. I hasten to add that I am not the one doing the research and have absolutely no interest in this thread.

If that's the case celebgran, one might have hoped that you'd learned how to avoid it by now.

Night all.

celebgran, cheers to you thanks

Sorry sparklygran I do get confused!

I a. Sure you mean well jayAnn apologise for offending you

I am Concerned about Smilelss she is a personal friend so am privy to information I cant disclose I only want the best for her

Thanks fairydoll. Just had g and t cheers!

I'm sorry you felt you had to call me a hypocrite, Celebgran. I've already said I admire Smilelss for her determination to me on. I wouldn't want her to lose contact with her son. The question is why would you?

Well said celebgran mines a

Fairydoll ?Reckon we may need??

Yes is yawn yawn situation been here before lots of times

lebgran you just don't get it, do you? I think there's maybe a touch of narcissism showing in that you assume you're of sufficient importance in my life for me to spend time coming up with conspiracies to do you down. Not the case I'm afraid.

Katek shame you unable to read and take note of the admin post and title to thread Support!

Do you consider this support?
Carry on with your personal insults said before if you get a buzz from it how very sad

O damn I haven't ignored???

Oh dear, sorry Celeb and Eddie. Should have read your posts before I sent my last one. Agree, no point in carrying on - been there before and it does get a tad boring. I find it more exhausting than Sainsburys on a Thursday.
Enough already...
to you both

Just to be clear, as it seems I have to be -

I didn't call anyone a vulture!

What I said was....'reminds me of a group of vultures circling (yes, it really does). Compare it to saying that a person is 'like a dog with a bone' (persists in worrying or talking about an issue) - that doesn't mean to say the person referred to is being called a dog. There is a difference.

Eddiecat bless you??you have more patience than me,
Agree with ladies who have sent me p m s nastiness best ignored it really is,

However you have spoken for me too I have done nothing to be ashamed of and don't need to hide behind closed forum.

Having said that I do belong to 2 very good ones,

Why all this pretence of caring about smilless and worry over her family reading things , the hypocrisy beggars belief,

Oops I said ignore didn't I sill me,

Or the car Norah. The car is very good and private ?

Maybe the anonymity of forum helps some feel better, not to self examination.

Everyone is quite different, I cry alone in the airing closet because I feel happy to open the window looking into the garden. Nobody else does that. Each person must do what works to their 'situation'.

I'd like to get back to Smileless. I'm actually starting to feel quite desperate for her here. I think disaster is looming. Her DIL and her family have lost their father and husband as I read it quite suddenly. The DIL has had to leave her family and go back to Australia. They will all be feeling unbelievably raw and devastated. They will not be in any condition to cut Smileless "some slack".
Some of the comments made by the estranged have been really hurtful at this time. DIL "insisted" her husband was with her. Insisted? Whats more natural than to want your husband with you. Painting the DILs family as selfish isn't kind or helpful.
Smileless, I'm begging you. You have to do something about this now. You have to say this isn't how I meant the conversation to go, these unkind posts are nothing to do with me or they may never speak to you again. If you say nothing it looks as if you agree. It's a public forum. They will know.

Deep breath - as I have already said - we would prefer not to have a closed forum as we want to be accessible for anyone who is needing support.

As for worrying about being identified - I for one am not trying to avoid anyone and I certainly haven`t done anything to feel ashamed about if I was identified.

That`s me definitely finished now - all of this unpleasantness is exhausting

A sincere question. Since you clearly, for your own reasons, do not welcome 'outsiders' why do you post your very personal problems on an open forum?
It could be because objective comments might be welcome (obviously not the case) or that for some reason you think a more personal, closed forum is not appropriate.
Quite apart from being identified or even tracked by those you'd rather avoid, you really can't ban posters from expressing opinions on that same open forum.
Now does that count as nasty bullying?

With you there mawbroon!