Friends with Daughter-in-law on Facebook

cloeps - be careful! A friend of mine fell out with her DIL because she told DIL she disapproved of information her DIL posted about her grandchild. The result is that DIL has stopped her seeing her grandchildren ever since.

I also make it a rule not to look at my children's Facebook pages. It seems intrusive somehow, even though I can get access.

Personally I hate having my photo taken so I'm only too pleased to avoid FB exposure! I have just one for my profile which I am happy with....

I think it is best not to get too worked up about what a DIL does or doesn't do. They are not your flesh and blood, you have inherited them, but importantly they are your sons choice. You just have to do your best to be as pleasant to them as possible and not get too involved, then you can't get hurt.
Once your son has a wife, it is her place to be the most important woman in his life. Her family and friends will also come before any needs you have. Sad really as you love them so much, but that is how it has to be.
My sons love me lots but I have to take my place behind their wives in the attention stakes and I accept the situation. My MIL must have felt the same.
Once you become a MIL it gives you a greater understanding of your own MIL, doesn't it?

I have expressly told all of my children and my friends that I do not want my face plastered on Facebook! Not that I am ashamed of it, I am just as ordinary as anyone else, but I did get pestered by a couple of men when I originally joined so I got freaked out with that.

Also I don't think you should tell your dil what she puts on her page as that is up to her. I don't like the way people put children's pictures on there because it is not safe. If not protected with security they can be clipped/snipped/copied and altered by weird people for their own ends.

In any case, for me, Facebook is now a no, no. My son who looks after my computer problems for me had an awful job getting rid of some malwear that had come from Facebook so I am banned from going on there unless I want to lose my very good administrator, which I don't. He is very good, always willing to spend his spare time sorting out our problems, but he cannot keep bailing us out all the time as he things of his own to sort out, so I don't blame him.

I think there may be an odd one on my DD's FB Albums, hers are mostly DGS & a few of them as a family. Only ones I have in my FB Album are because DD put them there

Can't get hung up about things like this

I enjoy being on FB but am very particular about who I am friends with and never, ever post pictures of myself so I am glad that none of the family do. On the other hand my MiL is a real poser and I suspect, if she used FB, would be distraught if she didn't feature in every picture there was. I guess it's all down to personal opinion.

We gave DS a framed photo of DH and I at the palace, got an email the next day asking if we had a one of just DH so that they could display instead. We provided the new photo but told him to keep the one of me to put on the mantlepiece as it would keep GC away from the fire

Chloeps, well done, I was thinking how she could do that/

My ma-in-law had photos of her 3 children on display - the one of my husband was our wedding photo with me cut off!! It bothered me for a while - now it makes me laugh

I do not appear on DD, DS or DIL's FB which is absolutely fine. The thing that annoys me is my sister posting every drink she takes and meal she eats and who she is with, I don't always want the wider world to know where I ate lunch.

Not quite the same thing, but my mother never had photos of me (l'm an only child!)on show in her house. Except for my wedding photos, which she refused to take down after we split up. lt got to the point where it upset me so much that l had to say if she didn't take them down, l felt like l couldn't go to the house. Her reason? "They'll leave gaps on the walls." ?
Similarly, my in laws had lots of photos of my brother and sister in law (and even their dogs) on display, but not a single one of my husband. Or me.... (We weren't hideous, honestly)

^ interesting things^ oops.

Why on earth are you bothered about being featured on Facebook surely you have more interesting in your life to be doing.

I am a Facebook fan. I use it to communicate messages about WI meetings and events, asking for volunteers, keeping members up to date with plans etc., Often people will make a comment on there but they would not say it in a meeting.
I also enjoy hearing about and communicating with friends past and present. This year, I made contact with an Aunty I hadn't seen for over 40 yrs and this led to contact with relatives I didn't know that I had got.
I do not have my immediate family (sons, dils. grandchildren) on Facebook as I see them regularly and they have the opportunity to tell me what they want me to know about their lives and activities. I would feel that I was being nosey to follow the things they share with friends on Facebook

Don't do Facebook for this very reason, all I ever hear of is the problems it brings up.

There are no pictures of me on my daughter in law's page either, nor on my son's and very few on my daughter's. I don't find that odd. I think I prefer it that way.

Facebook is a load of s---e in my humble opinion. I think it's wrong to post photos of small children unless there are security restrictions on outsiders looking in. Though to be honest I would abolish Face Book altogether.

I agree with others - it's trivial and nothing to worry about! Ive never thought to check , but have just looked at me DiLs fb page and sure enoug the only pics of me are one or two whole family Groups. There are lots of lovely photos of GC though whio are far more photogenic!

I didn't even realise this was something I should could worry about until I saw your post. I think I get on really well with my SIL and DIL, mainly, I believe, because I refuse to get dragged into the petty stuff or take sides. I tend to think "I doubt they got up this morning thinking I'll upset the mil today" and if they did then there are more things in life to worry about. Go with the flow and, in the words of an irritating song, Let it go!

You are posting on an Internet forum about your relationship with your daughter in law.

It's clearly not a great relationship, so I don't think you should be surprised if you're not so close that she's posting photos of you on Facebook (not that that is the benchmark of a good relationship!)

I don't think you're being childish. It's hurtful to see that. I'm sure if my DIL could, she'd have photos of her mother all over it (she wouldn't put any of me on there). I get on very well with her and am really fond of her but I think you draw the short straw a bit when you have a son. There is no answer. You just have to feel the pain and move on, in the grand plan of things, I guess it's not so important and we have to find other good things to focus on.?

I don't see any need for Facebook in my life. When I was working it caused no end of problems in my work, with some staff not realising that there was a confidentiality issue involved, either by discussing school matters on it or being friends with parents. It caused no end of grief, because they weren't savvy enough to make their settings private. Why do people feed the need to plaster details of their life all over the internet? Once it's up there, it's very difficult to remove. I appreciate that there are advantages in allowing families who do not live close to each other to keep in contact, but apart from that I can't see anything positive about it.

I've just trawled through my DiL's very extensive album, fearing that a terrible picture of me at my fattest on holiday five years ago would be there and I'm very pleased to say that it isn't. There were so many lovely pictures of my GC that it was a pleasure looking at them and remembering the good times we have had together and looking forward to more of them.

Almost everyone I know who was on Facebook has shut down their account or made it private. It seems to bring out the worst in many people. I don't want to have my whereabouts broadcast when having dinner with friends and we have one friend who can't go anywhere without posting. He is on a warning.
There seem to be so many petty arguments about "friends", photos etc. Reads like pathetic playground antics.
Do you have pics of your Dil displayed? Does your son have pics of his Mil? Does any of this matter?

chloeps - If I were in your position I would be highly delighted.