Friends with Daughter-in-law on Facebook

I think you should just be grateful that you have a relationship with your DiL, judging by a lot of posts on here that often isn't the case. If your DiL having your photo on facebook is all you have to worry about, you are very lucky.

I only use Facebook to stalk nieces and nephews . they are the children of my late brother and if they are partying away on Facebook I know they are alive and well.( I feel slightly responsible as I'm the only sensible one on that side of the family)

I love FB I ve started a couple of groups that have really taken off and I ve reached people I would never have reached in my 'real' life I have found school friends and other friends and I keep up with my overseas children and grandchildren I get to see far more photos than would ever be printed and sent to me Missing people, pets and items have been found through FB Items are sold or given away for free on local eBay type groups without fees I use the messaging service to talk on the phone or video with no extra charge Peole have been caught abusing children pets burglaries by a photo on FB I can keep up with local, national and international happenings .....it is so much bigger tool than just looking at what people had for dinner
If your post is genuine and you're really worried about your daughter in laws lack of photos of you I d say get a life but I still think this could well be one of these wind up threads to get us all going again

lilihu, you seem awfully sure of what Facebook is and isn't for someone who doesn't use it!

I and my daughters are on it and - guess what? - we also talk on the phone and by Skype and even - shock, horror! - meet in real life.

As someone who hates photos of herself and tolerates about one in a hundred, I'm not likely ever to want to see pictures of me on FB.

But we need to address the OP's concern, which is that she somehow is unsure of her DiL's love and sees an exclusion manifested in this lack of photos. Having had three daughters, I have never had to face the DiLemma. I get on well with my SiLs and one outlaw.

They hardly use FAcebook and I'd be surprised if they put up ANY photos, even of their partners and children. We use 23 Snaps instead, which is limited to family members. I would never put up pictures of any of the grandkids without checking with their parents.

Hi Cloeps

Just checked my Facebook album. I do not have a single photo of my mother in law either.

Please be assured that I do not mean her any ill will.

If you feel so bad why don't you find a photo of you and your daughter in law together and post it directly on your daughter in laws page. Write a nice message on it like how much you enjoyed the day or how much you love the photo etc. If she deletes it you will know that you have a problem.

Facebook......???? It has a lot to answer for as far as I'm concerned. As others have said - it's not 'real life'. I'm not on it - I'd much rather communicate with people by speaking to them!

I think it does indicate a difference in the way a DiL regards the mother of her husband, regarding who is/not in the family "circle"
I think being a MiL is different to expectation - and for me, what appeared to be a lovely relationship, changed once a grandchild was born. DiL's parents were obviously regarded as family, encouraged to visit and stay, plans made, I later found out, months ahead. My involvement, although I live nearer, just somehow involved occasional fitted in visits after all other arrangements were made - I felt just like a health visitor/social worker in my contact. I had to ask if it was possible for me to see more, but my trust in DiL has gone and I am wary. She may just be thoughtless, but I feel I am not regarded as family in her book and I now feel there is a glass wall between us. My only child, DS goes along with it all and I do not rock the boat as he has his life to live and now it is with her. I am just hurt and am quite sad when I read how other MiL's have a lovely relationship - I thought I had one once.

As others have said, just live in the 'here and now' and dont worry about something so minor. There are more important things in life! I actually don't like it when a photo if me appears on FB and only look at the site when really bored!

Why any one uses sites like facebook to publicise their lives in this way by uploading photos and telling the whole world about mundane things I have no idea. If you have genuine friends who are interested enough to want to know about your life then phone them, send them a private email or a letter or, better still, go and see them in person. If people do decide to advertise themselves on the internet in this way then it is up to them what they decide to say and show.

Facebook is not real. I'm not on it, neither are 80% of my friends and family. Maybe a laugh for kids but dross to me. To attach any kind of significance to Facebook is asking for trouble.
If I had an account I would never post photos of myself and would be appalled if any family member did.
Real world relationships are what matter, Facebook is a toy.

I'm very particular about my photos - my dil, and all nearest and dearest know better than to publish without prior vetting! ? Seriously, don't sweat the small stuff!

It's like there are two separate lives - one is real life, the other is Facebook life.

Stick to real life.

I don't like having my photo taken, so I can't complain if I'm not there up with my DILs FC posts. It's unfortunate but it doesn't matter how well we get on with our children's partners we're only ever there by necessity and not choice, especially so if it's your sons partner. Tag her into a pic of yourself then you will be there.

I have a great relationship with my daughter but on her FB she has more pictures of her mil than me her mil a nice woman enjoys drinking and partying therefore is always sharing photos of herself it doesn't bother me in the slightest

Why do you want to be in her photo albums? I'm glad I'm not plastered all over Facebook.

I feel honoured that my DiL even wants to be friends with me on FB. In fact it was she who got me onto it in the first place. Never look for trouble where there is none.

My son has pictures of me .....the most unflattering he could find ....one video of me asleep snoring ...and one where I had over indulged on the falling down juice at a party with my head down the loo....and he shared them

Chloeps I agree with everyone else you are looking for unnecessary trouble.
But here is a practical solution.
Get a photo of yourself and DiL.
Put it on your FB page and tag yourself and DiL.
Then it will appear on her page as well.
Voila

What's Facebook ?

I doubt very much if I am on my daughter's face book, don't even know if she has one, so what? I can e-mail her if I need to ask her something, TALK to her on the phone even, don't need to be in constant contact.

Yes, you are being upset over nothing. There are millions of people who don't have your photo on their Facebook page. It doesn't matter. What matters is your relationship with her - which would be very shallow if it depended on a photo on FB. Why manufacture angst when you don't need it?

If you think of being Facebook friends with your daughter-in-law as simply an easy way of keeping in touch, photos really aren't an issue. I think worrying about such stuff really is a bit snowflakish. Plus... what lona said about "looking for trouble/problems".

If I had a dil I wouldn't expect her to think about me from one new moon to another unless we had a great deal in common or she needed my help with her kids.

What a truly first world 'problem' ???

Only two of my Sil are on fb and, if I'm there, it's by accident. My sort of dil has 2. Very odd to even think about it. I spend an awful lot of time avoiding having my photo taken.

I certainly wouldn't worry Chloeps, I doubt if many dil have their mil photo on FB.