Friends with Daughter-in-law on Facebook

OMG, dorsetpennt, how horrible! Such evil bigotry! Predicting that marriage won't last long!

Nearly60, perhaps it was an oversight? Maybe you could ask dil or ds if there's a problem? Or send her a friend request and see what happens?

dorsetpennt That is just horrible!! for your friend.

Oh good heavens you're worried about her not having photos of you ! When I saw the title of the thread I thought your DIL was being horrible to you. I know someone whose DIL won't even speak to her, for no reason we can think of, when she asked her why she was told it was because my friend is Jewish . The son says he isn't but as the line goes down through the mother he is , he doesn't practice his religion. And you're worried about a photo.

My Dil is a sweet generous girl and probably didn't want to hurt me, but I would love an explanation to this, otherwise how can we learn and move forward.Thank you for your replies.

It's unfortunate that British people often seem to think that giving an excuse about something is less hurtful than telling the truth.
I'm guessing this is what has happened, Nearly60, and that there is an explanation that you would understand, if only you knew it.

Nearly60 is may have been due to a "burn" from having a differen relative on Facebook and no be about you specifically

For example: one of DDs preschools had a lot of "in politics" going on with the parents… most of the bunfights peaked on Facebook. I made it my "policy" to not have ANY of the preschool parents on my facebook and contacted them via phone instead so that I got to stay the heck out of all the nonsense - which meant that some who never posted anything contentious on facebook were included in my "ban" of preschool parents on my Facebook.. but it also means that I'm still friendly with them years later because I managed to stay out of the drama IYKWIM

Yes maybe she thinks it could cause trouble, although I hardly ever post myself,only commented on her posts occasionally to say how great everyone looked etc.It really is a puzzle.Think I may close my account, it's really not worth the hassle.Better to live in the real world

I thought I had a lovely relationship with my Dil, but recently been unfriended from fb.She said she had closed her account, only to reopen it again minus me ! Don't know what to think.

If you want to look on the brighside.. maybe she values your real life relationship too much to risk it by having a facebook relationship with you.

I have family members I care for who for example have very different politics to me, they post about these politics on facebook (not saying you are doing this necessarily, but facebook sometimes highlights people's politics). I sometimes post my own "pet issues" on facebook.. and I dont' want this to affect my relationship with them, So I've never added them on Facebook.

It's a bit like when you love someone and have them round for dinner and enjoy their company but don't bring up the election IYKWIM

I thought I had a lovely relationship with my Dil, but recently been unfriended from fb.She said she had closed her account, only to reopen it again minus me ! Don't know what to think.

I don't have any pics of my Mum in law on my Facebook either but it doesn't mean I don't love her to bits. Next time u meet how's about a nice selfie of u together and then share on her wall xx

I have a lovely relationship with my MIL, she has tonnes of photos of my DDs around the house, but none of me, I don't think it says anything about our relationship.

I also have no pictures of her on my Facebook. I love her very much, I'm closer to her than to my own mother.

i try not to be in photos that my land up on Facebook

Aren't those photos on there for ever... and actually belong to FB? That is why DIL does not want to put her daughter on there. When she grows up, it might embarrass her if silly-fun photos/videos are on there. I have seen a couple shared on the phone and they are hilarious, but understand that they would be cringe-worthy for her at age 12 or older.

Hi lots of good info here about why not to use Facebook or how to use it effectively, I came off because I kept feeling a bit precious about what my DIL posted ( we don't get on as well as I had hoped ) and it helped me a lot, what I didn't see I didn't get upset about. BTW there is one tiny pic of me in her home amongst dozens of her mum! I am grateful at least that my tiny one is there!!!

I'm friends with my son on Facebook. He was annoyed about s comment I made in response to something he said. Apparently it was an in joke for his friends, it was not meant for me, that's probably the way she se s it, its for the interest of her friends not her mother in law. At least she doesn't mind you reading it, some people just block their parents.

I am glad my DIL hasn't put any of my pictures on FB, if I wanted any on I would put them there myself. I have seen FB pictures used by others as cartoons & various things I would not like to be associated with.

Bluebelle - I think it's because I'm a worrier so I don't want to see them reporting things I am not happy about.

Examples would be how they hadn't had any sleep for the last 2 nights or had a hangover they couldn't get rid of. They wouldn't normally tell me such things.

I realise this probably sounds feeble and over the top. If they had children and regularly added photos of them, I'm sure I'd look at their photos.

One of my DIL's gave gifts to her parents, my step-son's parents and my step-son's step-parents with the exception of me. Furthermore, when the wedding photos were displayed on her wall, it was obvious I wasn't amongst them. My other son noticed and asked why I wasn't up there. My stepson assured me I was on the ones upstairs when he checked that I wasn't on the ones downstairs. I wasn't. He asked his wife why not and she just shrugged her shoulders and said she didn't realise. I'm not entirely sure she didn't know but although I was a little hurt, I made up my mind to shrug it off. After all, I certainly won't endear me to her by making a face and if I keep dwelling on it, it will sour what I think of her.

I am very rarely on my DD FB page, it is her, her hubby and kids, then all their parties and activities. Same with my DiL, I am not on hers at all, but I use it as a portal to their world and when I used to ring my DD she would say to look on FB to see what they were doing to save her explaining it all! It was never a family album, really. I use my phone for that and I think the girls do to, but I would not presume to ask to look at their pics on their phones which I look upon the same way as a lady's handbag! I just love them both and am so happy to see all the things they get up to.

My DIL will not put her toddler daughter on there now or in the future. They share videos directly and with WhatsApp with close family and friends who are not in the UK.

I have made it clear to my children that I don't want any pictures of me included on their FB pages; perhaps your DiL is actually being respectful of your 'privacy'.

I find FB very useful for keeping in touch with friends and family, particularly those living abroad, and finding old friends I had lost touch with. I also enjoy seeing photos of their holidays and of my DGS's year in Japan - so much easier than the old days when you were given a big pile of photos to look at, all of which you had to scrutinise and comment on. ? One of my sons and my daughter have put photos of me on there and I sometimes wish they wouldn't as they are not always flattering, but I take it in good part

Rambling why would you feel it intrusive to look on your children's FB they wouldn't include you if they didn't want you to see anything it's very easy to make the settings so you still show up as a 'friend' but don't see their posts People put things on FB because they want you to look at them I d be very disappointed if no one ever looked at my timeline not much point in having an account My kids and a few grandkids are on FB and I love seeing what's going on Two of the older grandkids have their settings so I don't see their latest happenings haha and that's fine they don't need a old gal seeing all their stupidness haha

My DS unfriended me and dil has such security I may see one or two posts a year. The only photos taken with both of us are the wedding photos. No photos of me and DGC none of him and parents just a posed one in a frame for Christmas. You are all so lucky to have the relationships you do

Do you think she is being tactful, and not putting your photo on without your permission? My DIL has never put my photo on, and I've always interpreted it that way. Do you have a photo on your FB page? I don't.