My life, my way

chilledlady Good for you and yes i think we should all join you, sometimes we all get a little stuck and need to give ourselves a good talking too, not all of us get it right first time.Our lives could change drastically tomorrow so e have to make the best of it.
jayannasorry you had such horrible taunts, some people never grow out of the playground and like most bullies they have sad pathetic lives. &

Those of us who don't get that family life that we envisaged have to find a way to reach our own epiphany, when we rejoice in life as it is, not as we hoped it would be. For a long time I grieved over the grandchildren I would never have. Then a poster on this site, that I was disagreeing with about something totally unrelated, chose to taunt me and sneer at my grandchildless state. She meant it to hurt but oddly it had completely the opposite effect. A catharsis! She did me a favour.
I am with you Chilledlady, life is good when lived without regret for what, after all, only existed in our imaginations.

Some of us can't see the wood for the tress though Luckygirl Sadly I still often wonder what might have been, what could have been and what will probably (now) never be.

Just being honest.

It's just life - it's what we all do - enjoy what we have and try not to let the might-have-beens and wish-it-could-be bits take over. There is no other way

I took it that it was the wishing for things that will never be, regrets and tears that the OP wanted to cut loose, not her family.

Good for you chilledlady (if you can do it). We often go through life wishing and hoping for things to change or get better, when what we really should be doing is just making the most of what we have in the here and now. I for one am guilty of this.

Thank you, icanhandthemback. I was trying to express how regrets can bring tears, and how I was trying to come to terms with the fact that my family live far away, and how I want my life to be good and satisfying despite that. Thank you too, Starlady but I have no hurt and anger" just thoughts of what might have been, had they been in this country.
I did not expect the reprimand from the early posters, when I was attempting to explain how I would deal with the situation.

Chilledlady if I've misunderstood your post my apologies. I really did understand it to say you'd cut your family loose. It sound much more understandable the way you've explained it.

MawBroon, with some of the threads you see on GN, it isn't always normal behaviour even though it should be. Good on you, Chilledlady, my family talks about moving away and I try to be positive but it isn't always easy so I will try to join you when the time comes!

Well, Chilledlady, what exactly does "cut them loose" mean?
Have you been trying to hang on to them, pushing for more visits to no avail and nursing hurt and angry feelings between visits? And now you've decided to sort of "punish" them by cutting back contact as much as possible - no skype, no facetime, no letters, etc. except when you make plans to "meet up?"

Or do you just mean that you're letting go of the hurt and anger and just going to enjoy your life as is, including the time you do get to spend with your son and daughter and their families?

The former sounds vengeful and mean. The latter sounds wise and beautiful. I hope it is the latter.

I can't join you in either one, really, because, lucky for me, my dd and gc live within reasonable distance. But if they were far away, I would definitely join you in the latter idea. In fact, even now, I try not to focus too much on them, to understand that they have busy lives of their own and dh and I need to have and enjoy one as well. So again, if giving everybody the space they need is what you are talking about, I'm with you!

Sometimes easier said than done, though!

In which case I don't quite see what is worth saying
Sounds like normal behaviour.

Exactly, sunseeker. I thought my last paragraph was clearly referring to regrets and tears.

I took the OP to mean she was cutting loose regrets and tears, not her family

I'm with tanith on this!
I could agree with everything up to that phrase "cut them loose". If it means no strings but still love, fine, but if it means what it sounds like, I fear for OP' s family who may deserve better.
The two are not mutually exclusive you know.

I don't feel I have to 'cut my family loose' to live my life in full so sorry I won't be joining you. I wish you well with your family free life.