Living with someone who is depressed

seasider, firstly very happy birthday, pleased you were able to enjoy your day once the morning depression had lifted a bit. annie is right, depression can strike anyone. In my professional life I spent a lot of time with people experiencing depression and know how it can put feet into treacle and the struggle to get them out. I also know how wearing it is to live with someone with depression. It's not easy that's for sure. I can totally understand that sometimes it feels, well, maybe both overwhelming and relentless but also simply not fair, especially on a day you were looking forward to. I hope your husband is receiving an up to date approach to this horrid condition, you are doing so well to keep positive the majority of the time. Please do as luckygirl advises and enjoy the moments you can. Also, it's worth thinking what there is in your life that can give you joy, it's important to share laughter somewhere. Good wishes to you all.

A hard or easy life, rich or poor, depression strikes .

Thank you everybody. When he finally surfaced he was quite upbeat and we have had a lovely afternoon out with family. It's just so wearing sometimes always trying to encourage and support someone even though I do understand he can't just "snap.out of it". His mother and two of his sisters have very negative personalities plus one of his sons so I wonder if depression can be hereditary? My mum was very positive despite having a very hard life and I am generally a cup half full person .

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It is tough I know, both because my OH has had such problems, and in the last 3 years so too have I - so I can see it from both sides.

I think it is important that you take on board the fact that someone with a true depressive illness (as opposed to just feeling down) cannot motivate himself. It is like being switched of at the main, and the bits of brain that normally motivate a person to action are dead.

So, please do not take this personally - it will make him feel worse if he thinks he has hurt your feelings. I know how hard it is to live with someone with these problems - the only way forward is to enjoy the good bits.

Congratulations on your milestone birthday!

It is very difficult. I suffer with depression (not as badly ad your DP it seems). I sometimes feel sorry for my DH when I struggle to motivate myself. He has had cancer and is very upbeat and motivated. I have had no physical illness but some days find it hard to do anything at all. I try not to give in to it but it's not easy. I hope you manage to do something nice for your birthday today.

It's very hard living with someone who suffers from depression seasider, don't feel guilty about taking some time for yourself. Encourage him with meds and group therapy but there is no quick fix sadly. Are you in contact with other partners who have the same problem ? Sometimes other people have coping strategies which may help.
Take care

seaside I wish you Many Happy Returns and that your day and your circumstances improve. I know when I was suffering with depression it was very hard on my husband but I stuck with the medication and the counselling sessions and I did improve with time and now I know my triggers and how to deal with them so Black Dog only comes to stay for a few days at a time. My very best wishes for you.

SEasider Can you not go out for breakfast with just your son and leave hubby to his bed if not too much trouble for your boy,your hubby may feel better once the new medication starts to work I feel so sorry that you have been let down after looking forward to going out.