anyone else's husband this difficult to understand?

I was thinking , too, that he might feel you prefer the company of other men because you give so much time to your dad. Make sure he knows there's no comparison - your df is your df, dh is your dh and that's totally different. And maybe cut back your time with df a little. You can hire someone to help him out, surely? Be sure you're giving dh some personal attention, not just cleaning the house, etc.

Then go ahead to your coffee group and make some new friends. Maybe dh can go with you as a pp suggested. Enjoy!

Is it unusual for your DH to be overly anxious? If so it may mean he is worried about something or possibly depressed and maybe talking would help. If it is a case of him trying to control what you do with the little spare time that you have I would be inclined to tell him to butt out and get real. There again I am a Taurus!

For those saying take him with you ...DONT .For those suggesting you talk it over DONT .,.....just go, you don't need anyone's permission to go to a blooming coffee morning Do you realise how totally daft that sounds or are you so used to having to ask to do anything that if feels normal
It sounds as if you have been a 'do as you are told' wife Have you always been under your husbands control or is it a recent thing was it your choice to have no friends or life other than your family
Do enlargen your life which sounds incredibly Victorian and very very limited for you
You might even enjoy it
Good luck have a coffee for me

What does your DH do while you're with your DF? If he goes off and does his own thing with his mates then it's fair enough that you do the same and go to the coffee mornings. If he sits at home watching for your return, it may be an idea as has been said, to check if he's ok.

Do you do stuff together? Hobbies together? Meals out with friends? Perhaps its a good time to assess the relationship you have. It seems a strange accusation if it came out of the blue.

I'm with Hope on this, for goodness sake it is your life, a couple of hours at a coffee morning will you do you good.

not only the coffee morning, it would make me want to take on even more outside activities just to get up his nose and tell him to butt out and get his own life!

I was thinking the same as Bluebelle, don't take him with you and don't talk it over. I would also find myself biting his head off with baggy.

It will be nice for you to be able to go and have a coffee and chat with women your own age.

I wish that leaflet had come through my door, I'd be there in a shot. Hope you have a lovely time. Tell the DH he can go with you to enjoy the coffee & chat.

I wish someone thought that other men would be interested in me, it's a back handed compliment but I'd grab it with both hands.

I have been to coffee mornings and what they have to offer is, coffee, cake and raffle tickets. If there are any men, send me the details immediately please.

Me - I would be asking what provoked such a reaction. You spend time away from the home dealing with your father and visiting your DD and DS. You make no mention of what your DH is up to - other than he can nip off in his land-rover. It may be because I am a divorcee that I have a suspicious mind. However, I am also in business and I have found through experience that ridiculous outbursts mask something. Your mere mention of a social gathering with like minded people during the day in an open forum - and he goes on the attack. Nah I don't buy that he wants to protect or that he is actually accusing you of wanting to meet men. This is a statement about him not you.

I am wth BlueBelle. It is a normal thing to do, do it, do not discuss it, just get on quietely, when things are discussed is this a covert way of engineering boundaries yet again? For the first few times of new activities you will be rather a fish out of water but persevere you will probably find another woman that you chime with, if you invite her back for coffee or lunch what sort of welcome would he give? This may give you a key to his behaviour, to isolate is to control. You need some freedom from the apparent treadmill you have presented. Go out and chat independently of home and responsibility, go enjoy. [????

You have morphed from businesswoman into household drudge! There is a world out there which your husband seems to be exploring - get out there yourself and enjoy it.

Your Dad can't need that much cleaning and ironing done surely? I'm sure he loves to see you but you can fit in a visit to him as well. Your family has grown up too, don't let them become your sole source of happiness however close and loving you are.

Ps your DH is right you don't know what sort of people will be there at the coffee morning, there could be all sorts - and some could become your New Best Friends

Why do some spouses see a marriage certificate as a receipt of ownership. I never ask my partner if I can do/go somewhere I just do it. Stand up for yourself and get out and get a life. Life is to short

As rosesarered says, after a lifetime of work retired men want to spend time with their wives, and many men (even the relatively normal ones!) are slightly possessive about their wives attention and sometimes feel neglected. It does sound as though you must spend quite a lot of time looking after your father, perhaps he just wants to spend more time with you? I know that many men do not know quite how to fill up their day once they retire, perhaps he just want to get out and about with you, doing the things you could not do when you were both working.

But hopefully this isn't going to take up much of your day, is it? Perhaps he is worried that it will grow to take up more of your time.

The idea that you are looking for other men is potty, sounds like a spur of the moment comment more than anything else. Don't read too much into it.

cheerfullizzy
Sorry but my comment has to start with.... GROW SOME
It appears your life has been 'doing' for others.
Now its YOUR time.
My past experiences are not unlike yours.
You are being taken for granted but that is not to say you should stop looking after your father but you are not your husbands carer as he is capable of looking after himself.
Go out, and do what you want, tough if hubby throws a wobbly.So be it.
Offer him the chance to go with you, men are allowed at coffee mornings!!!! and WI.So no excuses there.

I would go and see what it offers. Why shouldn't you do something on your own? You are not a skivy and have a right to have friends. Take no notice of OH he will just have to get used to it. Do you complain when he goes out? Of course not. I would say well I am going so you will just have to get used to it. He will come round eventually.

Had to laugh at the comment 'You just want to meet men!'. You will probably find that no men are interested in going to a coffee morning. Tell your OH not to be daft. Looking after two men is enough for you. You might not like it anyway, if that is the case look for something else, art class or knitting group or something. You have a right to enjoy life too not spend your retirement looking after others.

I made that clear on day one! He goes and meets his friends and relatives once a week and once a month. I do whatever takes my fancy. The work gets done, OH gets fed and his clothes washed. My Father unfortunately died years ago when he was 49 so I don't have that problem but make the most of the time you do have with him. Life is short.

I can't believe a husband would react like this - mine certainly wouldn't, he'd encourage me. It's also unbelievable that you,ve spent your entire life looking after others, with no thought for yourself. I couldn't have coped with that. Did you have to ask him if you could go? I'd just have said 'I'm going out to a coffee morning this morning, Bye' and gone!

You can meet men everywhere, they make up half the population!
I 'met' a lovely one yesterday in the DIY store (swoon), he was lovely and friendly and chatty, unfortunately more DD's age than mine.
And DH was nearby.

I had one like that and after being controlled for 34 years I got rid! Have a lovely new model now and we have joined the U3A and do things together and separately. Go to the coffe morning but don't be surprised if you get the silent treatment when you get back. That's what usually happens with controlling men. Sorry to sound cynical but been there done that. You have been given some good advice from wise Gransnetters though.

....JUST GO HAVE THAT COFFEE!!.....✨

As others have posted, go to the coffee morning! You need to have some interests of your own - it's good to have the opportunity to share any news with your DH that you have picked up whilst there. Perhaps, as already suggested, he could come to the first one with you so he can see what it's like. Strange he should feel so threatened by it. You must go, though, either with him or without him. .

You could mention that after all you do for DH and DD you'd like a little 'me' time with a cup of coffee and he can jolly well like it or lump it. Tell him he's being ridiculous.
After all, if the boot was on the other foot would you have a similar complaint for him? Go and enjoy yourself with some time out.

Go and enjoy your "me time" - you are entitled to it and encourage him to get out there and do his own thing! Have you tried laughing with him at the suggestion that you would want another feller in your life, or does he not have a gsoh? My DH is severely disabled, living in constant pain, but when I point out that he's bad tempered, cantankerous and impossible and one of these days I'm going to chuck him out of an upstairs window, he agrees with me!