Think your husband must be trying to be funny. Can't see anyone asking point blank if their partner was still alive, that would at best be very insensitive and rude. Perhaps your husband has emelished the conversation a little, if I bumped into her I wouldn't be able to resist saying, I'm still here as you can see, and wait for her reply.
Last weekend, in Rutland, the first statue in Britain of the late Elizabeth II was unveiled.