Someone asked DH if I was still alive - AIBU to be hopping mad?

I don't think it was rude. Strange but not rude.

Yes, just odd - especially as she doesn't know you.

Very odd, the normal thing would have been to ask how you were.

Did she remember your name? Even worse had she said 'is thingamjig still alive?'

I used to see an elderly couple walking to the paper shop in the mornings. For the last month or so I have seen the woman alone around the village. We are only on nodding terms, so I feel it would be rude of me to ask after her husband, but I fear that he is unwell or dead. They seemed to do everything together and I know they are childless, so I worry that she could do with some support. Should I approach her or not and what should I say?

Yes, shysal I think I would say something on the lines of, 'hello, I haven't seen your husband for a while, is he alright?' That gives her the opportunity to say whatever is the case, and be pleased that somebody has noticed and asked.

Yes, or an even vaguer implied question "It's unusual to see you on your own".

Acanthus - you don't think she's after your husband do you?

That crossed my mind too

Yes me too. Seems a strange thing to say out of the blue, but some folk can be quite tactless.
Shysal I agree with roses that seems a good way to broach the subject.

acanthus - Ah, but are you?
< ? ?Ducks behind ? sofa>

My H has this problem. I see a neighbour a couple of times a month and H is convinced her H is dead and refers to it each time I see her. I have told them and they think it is hilarious. On the other side of the coin, a friend from our past rang recently and he is stage whispering to me " how is T and give him my regards " he has been dead 7 years.

As she doesn't see you much, she may just have got you confused with someone else, who was seriously ill.

Nevetheless, a strange way to put it.

Depending on ages/stages of all concerned she may have been fishing, so as not to miss an opportunity perhaps?

I think your husbands right what is there to get upset about Perhaps she'd seen your husband out and about without you a few times or maybe she's just strange ...you say you don't know her I d probably be a bit puzzled but upset no there's really nothing to get upset over, is there ? Unless it's your husbands 'delight' in telling you

I would be upset by that remark. I think she was looking for a lonely widower and testing the water.

Shysal, just 'How are things with you?' Could be enough for her to tell you whether anything has happened to her DH.

What JackyB said!

I would watch her!
and accompany him next time

Strange but not rude. Perhaps she was confused with another acquaintance. No worries.

If it was mistaken identity, for someone whose wife was ill, it's a very insensitive way of asking.

I'd think she was fishing, in a clumsy way, and it wouldn't annoy me, even if my DH was clearly flattered.

It would only bother me if I thought he returned her interest.

Someone recently said to my 89yo mother 'Oh, you're still around, are you? I haven't seen you lately.' My mother chose not to be offended and made a joke out of it instead.

I walked into a local shop a number of years ago to be met by the owner chalk white and visibly shaken...I heard you had died he said ..poor man ,he even had a card written ready for my funeral.Sadly it was my elder sister who had died and he'd been given the wrong name

Goodness me, if she is after him she sounds a bit creepy.....does she specilise in widowers then? Fortunately he doesn't qualify, lucky escape all round.

I don't think it was at all rude or odd, and can't fathom why you'd be this upset.