Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

Similar story here Eddicat. The parents seem scared of upsetting her hence she more or less says and does whatever she likes.
So your DIL may have to be more dependent on her parents in the future. God help them it sounds!

Smileless, This is an interesting bit, "Wonder what he [eds fil] really thinks now she's estranged from us." I say this from a place of not knowing what my sils (and to an extent my dds) think or do... does it occur to you they may not know?

Interesting way to look at ils to me. I do not try to be hurtful. I just do not see things as you. I think younger people are in many cases like my view.

The difference though Norah is that they have virtually no contact with their son now and TBH I would have been upset too as it reinforced the increasing distance between them.

Of course we didn't expect our ES to tell us about his second child as we were estranged but this young man's parents were still in contact and I think it's awful if AC put a pregnancy announcement on social media before telling their parents. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I think it's rather disrespectful.

Yogagirl, I do not tell my grown dds what to do concerning anything (marriage or children related in particular). They are all grown mums and nanas themselves, everything they do is up to them and their dhs.

Celeb, when do you go home?

It was just a thought Norah, I think it would be on mine but then again maybe not. You just don't ever imagine it happening to you.

The couple I referred too in my previous post were aware of our estrangement at least 3 years before things started to deteriorate with their son Fairydoll; they are good friends of my s.i.l. and I shouldn't think it would have crossed their minds either.

There have been some awkward conversations in the past so we tend to avoid the topic. It's a shame as it's definitely put a bit of a strain on our friendship. Once her husband said that parents shouldn't try and come between a husband and wife; I agreed with him and said that a husband or wife shouldn't try to come between an AC and their parents. Bit of a conversation stopper.

Gosh that's weird eddie because when ES and his wife got engaged her father told Mr. S. that he'd never have to worry about her future now he knew she was marrying into a loving, stable and well rounded family. Wonder what he really thinks now she's estranged from us.

Smileless, I think FB posts about pregnancy details are common to my younger dds and their friends. Splendid, not hmmm odd.

I would not be upset, never give it a thought to add to my dislike. I think some things may be over thought.

Norah you would be speaking with your Ds not s.i.ls

Smileless, I do not think that co is in my mind? I will think on that.

I do not think it is my place to tell my sils what to do with their parents. I do not tell my grown married dds what to do in their marriages or to raising their children either.

Fairydoll - our DIL`s parents seem almost frightened of her - I do wonder if she might have had some sort of mental health issue as a teenager (possibly eating disorder) and that since then they haven`t wanted to "upset" her. She does seem to fall out with them on a regular basis but it is only short term because she needs them to help with the children. They have said that they didn`t think it was right that we shouldn`t see the grandchildren but obviously don`t have any influence over her. One of my friends says DIL`s parents must have been rubbing their hands with glee when our son came along as they wanted someone to take her off their hands! Now that the marriage is virtually over I don`t know how they will cope!

Interesting post Smileless

I suspect your friends D will sideline her i.l's ever further once the baby arrives . Seems par for the course.
God knows what our 'DIL' has told her parents about us - but it sure as hell will be a pack of lies. Her parents - in particular her mother - seem quite in awe of her and I think she has been allowed to be rude to them all her life and got away with it, rather than been chastised which might precipitate an estrangement. In fact I recall that when DS first met her she
told him she had just 'got back on track' with her mother.

It seems that your friends have just accepted their D's word regarding her i.l's. I just couldn't do that. Knowing that they are decent people must make it very difficult for you
even mentioning it.

Arent you tempted to say '..Oh that's such a shame, I only know them as lovely people.' Difficult isn't it???

Oh booh; that should have been. Well at least I can blush properly.

I was thinking about that too Starlady. Knowing that her sons in law are estranged from their own families is perhaps at the back of Norah's mind so I can understand if there were some reluctance to speak out.

I have a very dear friend, her and her husband have been towers of strength throughout our estrangement. Their youngest D has come between her husband and his parents and sister. He has almost no contact with them now and as you can imagine it makes for difficult conversations between us and our friends.

Their D is pregnant with her first child and when I asked my friend if his parents had been told the news she said she was sure they had and that their s.i.l. had either texted or emailed. I found out a few weeks ago that they found out because the good news had been posted on FB.

They have no qualms about the estrangement and are very critical of their D's in laws. I happen to know them, not very well but I used to work with their D's f.i.l., and I know how close a family they used to be.

Whatand[confuses]me is that they see our estrangement as terribly unjustified and cruel but condone their s's.i.l. Their D's i.l.'s were and are decent, loving and caring parents just like us. They've done nothing to justify this treatment and have no idea why it's happened, just like us.

Hope you passed Luckylegs suggestion on to Mr. C. Celeb and he's bringing you lots of yummy things to eat. You deserve it as does he so I'm sending him some.

Thank you NS.

celeb hope you are comfy this afternoon and feeling more so as the hours go on. Good advice about digestives etc from Luckylegs ....

Brilliant celeb! You must be pleased to get the operation over at long last. Only way is UP now.

Concentrate on getting well and cut all negative thoughts about your daughter out of your head. All your emotional energy is needed for YOU now.

Crikey!Celeb you are made of strong stuff,must be the Gaelic/Celtic blood.
Great to read your posts and are eating and drinking.

Think you must change your pen name to Fearless!
That would be very fitting in the band of musketeers ?

As is often the case money being the root of all evil.
It's the power it brings.Along with status.

Smileless,you are very eloquent and do think when we need a new title for this thread you would come up with a good idea.

Hope you get something tasty to eat,Celeb.
Good wishes to Mr C. too.

NSx

Glad it's over Celeb . Now on to getting you up , out and dancing the night away.??

Celeb, glad op is behind you! Speedy recovery!

Rhinestone, sending birthday wishes! Sorry some family members forgot. Chalk it up to forgetfullness and not checking that calendar!

Fairydoll, so sorry about ds' partner! Doubt her mum could have done anything to help - partner is not a child.

Eddie, Norah - Idk about speaking out at Xmas, etc.. If she did that, Norah could end up alone at future Xmases, herself.

Great to see your post Celeb. When I sent you that
text yesterday evening I didn't think you'd read it until this morning. When I got your immediate reply I said to Mr. S. "OMG she's just sent me a text".

Thank goodness it's done and dusted now and hopefully you're recovery will go as well as Yogagirl's friend.

Thanks for sharing Norah. It looks as if the main bone of contention within your D's husbands family is money. Such a shame that disagreements which in the scheme of things should you would think be resolvable, result in parents being CO of their AC's and GC's lives.

As we so often post on here, we can understand abusive parents being CO but for any other reason it's still a drastic and cruel decision. I hope that for some who read this thread and pop on from time to time, your post will serve to demonstrate that being CO can and does occur for many reasons and all too often not because of abusive parents.

I agree eddie we're not so bad and TBH I never thought that any of us were. We're a bit like a group of musketeers "all for one and one for all".

Good morning Celebgran turned the page and there you were. They should have got your tea & toast straight away, they normally do after a big op, after the initial recoup of course, as you would have had nothing since the day before! It must be too early to tell how you feel with your back, but hopefully you will have a speedy recovery.

I was thinking of you last night and thought, poor C she must be longing for a hug & some kind words from her estD I wouldn't have mentioned that, but for you saying so above.

Eddiecat & Fairydoll Yes I too would most definitely speak up if one of my AC were to co one of their in-laws. Even before being co myself, I would know how cruel & unkind that would be, and unnecessary, as can be got round by the AC [only] not having much to do with the in-law, but still keeping the family dynamics.

I woke in the night thinking about Celebgran, so that's a first, normally my precious GD and once beloved D. Thanks for keeping us up to date Smileless and so pleased it all went well. My friends husband who had the same/similar op 2 weeks ago, had a walk by the sea on Sunday and said pain of before gone! So hope that's C in a couple of weeks time.

Thank goodness all over. Get you husband to do you dome sandwiches wrapped in foil in a container and few bottles of water, in case you get hungry or thirsty, a packet of plain digestives as well. The main thing is you have your husband and Steve to watch that all us ok. Don't fret about the absent one, you have done without her well enough up yo now, this is your new start. As long as the surgeon did his job and the Physio gets you going, the rest you can cope with. Hope you well enough yo give Steve a big hug and smile.x

just list post cant fault anaesthetist and theatre staff or Mr Cummings but nurses are not v good
I was basically IG ired after coming g our of special care we asked 3 different nurses from 5 until. 8 for tea and toast had been offered at 4 30 finally night staff got it at 8 45 a little auxiliary made me comfy bless her bringing fan but had been back on ward since 3 30!
Nire if worth complaining physio hopes get me out bed today

Love to all my lovely supporters
Trying not think about daughter down the road when my son driving
200 miles tomorrow to see me love him xx

Hi ladies not up yet ohtsio coming later but WiFi good!

Thanks so much for thinking of me bless you.

Had few tears about daughter but dear son coming tomorrow.
I must focus on tbat.
Anesathist a d theatre staff brilliant as was Mr Cummings who can.e c me before and after op said went well

EddiecatYou spoke the truth... maybe we aren't so bad after all.
How can strangers be more concerned than their own blood still baffles me.
Glad Celeb is up and texting .

Good point eddiecat

Smileless thank you for your updates on celeb I am so glad, as are others here I am sure, that she is awake and texting.