Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

Eglantine I would be very wary, all the signs are there for an estrangement once your Son marries this girl. So just be very careful how you tread, keep out of her hair and I would keep your distance a bit from her, more seeing your Son on his own, in other words don't tread on her toes, obviously be friendly with her but not in her face either, that way you can't piss her off about anything you do or say.
If I'd have known then, what I know now, this is how I would have kept things, kept a bit of distance from my s.i.l & his family and then maybe I would still be in my D&GC lives Good luck

Eglantine - hopefully you are being over-cautious but perhaps be extra careful if a baby appears on the scene as this seems to be a trigger point for many who go on to cut off the in-laws. Having said that - for many of us who post here I honestly believe that nothing we could have done would have stopped the estrangement. If someone really doesn`t want to have a relationship with you there is not a great deal you can do about it. Good luck!

Good morning ladies. Forgive me for intruding but I would like to talk to you about something. My son is soon to be married. I get on well with my future DIL when I visit and she is always welcoming and chatty on the phone. I live three hours , away and maybe phone every couple of weeks or so.
I know that she is incredibly generous and supportive to her friends and several elderly relatives on her mums side of the family.
What troubles me is that her family (I don't quite know how to put this) are quite quick to cut people out. Her mum is dead now but she has not spoken to her father for 30 years, nor to her elder sister either. It is a long story but her sister did something that her mother did not approve of, her mother refused to have anything to do with the elder sister, the father did not agree and kept contact with the sister, her mother was angry about that and the marriage ended in divorce when the father had an affair, my DIL was upset about that and blamed her father. The rest of the family took sides mostly supporting their own family member...Do you see where I am going with this?
So what I really want to ask is do you think this is a pattern or just an unfortunate series of events? Should I be a bit wary? Are there any warning signs I should look out for in my relationship with her and my son? Or just tell me I'm looking for trouble where there isn't any!!!

Thanks momof3 for your kind words

I am like yogagirl can't seem read article maybe as well?!

Packing done sad leave rosie but exciting see Smilelss and next time hope more can join us!

We meeting for couple of nights rhinestone more than a cuppa???

I think it's a very aggressive, nasty article and very bad advice unless there is any evidence that the parents have been abusive.

Why would anyone want the cycle to continue and what damage would this cause the grandchildren.

A question to consider is if anyone followed this advice would they be doing it for the grandchildren or themselves.

However I do think a book of family history is very useful and a lovely thing for the grandchildren to have.

I give this opinion with my deepest empathy and I am truly sorry for all of your situations. I would never do what your children have done unless I was being abused or concerned about my children's weldfare. However no one has a right continue to perpetuate the misery down the generations

Celebgran and SmilelessAre you meeting to have a CUPPA? I just love that expression. Hugs to both of you.

My ND is doing genealogy, very interesting!

Luckylegs

Nice picture Celebgran and I think your husband's letter was good, not over the top or asking for anything, just letting your D know about your surgery. Hope you and Smileless have a lovely day together tomorrow, nice picture of you both please

Thanks for that article Rhinestone I can't read it as every time I enlarge it, it goes over to the side and off screen! I'll try again later..

back on to read more posts later, ND calling....

Smileless I think she may have listen to me and her sister. He was always after her at school and she said he wasn't he 'type', she had a lovely boyfriend of about 2yrs and he [now husband] went round and picked a fight with him, as he wanted her as his girlfriend. He did come to one of my D's parties and said I spoke to him so would have remembered him, but I didn't. When they first got together my D caught him sending messages to a mutual girlfriend, my D asked me & her sister if she should dump him because of this, and guess what we said...^" No, give him a second chance!"^

CelebgranThats a wonderful picture . Your DH was protective of you in writing that letter. I may have to come across the pond to get a cut free pedicure. The hole in my heel from that cheese grater finally is closed .
Well ladies talk about fate. I went on Facebook and a support group for alienated grandparents came up on my feed. A guy from high school, who is a lawyer, has been advocating for grandparent rights and has a group. Also there are many other groups that started in Florida but are all around the country. They have regular meetings and send out newsletters. I'm going to post one of the tips and ask for your opinion.

celebgran you both look lovely and what a lovely caring husband you have. Happy 40th anniversary to you both.

Thank everyone who said kind things about my DGD's birthday.

What a lovely picture Celeb, I would give anything to be loved as your daughter is, one day she will realise what she threw away, meanwhile you have a wonderful husband, his safe arms around you. My birthday and my daughters is next week, I looked at the diary entry at the time of her birth, and it read, best present ever, she was worth all the pain, that pain is nothing like I have now, but one thing I do know, I did my best, know that no contact is better than being bullied, but oh what a price to pay. To all of you, that know this particular heartache, keep strong, grab the good times and the ones that do love you. My son came to my rescue today, won't go into it, but how I would cope without him I don't know. These birthdays are hard. I have bought another pair of shoes to ease the pain, they do help. Think I need a new dress too. X

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201707/medium-845445-img-1843.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201707/medium-818095-img-1854.jpg

Edditted page one and. Dh and me on day out last week

Sparklygran ??hope u feeling ok today x

I'll try edit it

I think I did my utmost always for xxx smilless but it was t good enough was it?

Well not going let it spoil our few days away!.

Is ruby (ruby wedding) with 3 diamond either side rhinestone

I also so another one ordered ruby cluster go with the collection!
Dh has one ordered too and I did pedicure today rhinestone didn't cut the foot?
Reg lady always pleased.
Try get cash together for dh ring ?

More the merrier eddiecat

Yes rhinestone it was very to the point not sure if u saw first page before genetic deleted it as had my so s. NEw address on I

Ooooh that would be lovely eddie but you'll need to I look out for 2 very bemused husbands.

Smileless and Celeb - I`m seriously thinking of going to Harrogate to see if I can spot the pair of you - 2 well dressed ladies, fab shoes, laughing a lot - should be easy. (Plus 2 slightly bemused husbands?!)

*Celeb*. We all did the best that we could do and in any given situation doing our best is all we can do. You're ring looks lovely; will I will be able to pinch see it when we meet on Wednesday.

Yesterday must have been hard for you Sparklybut I bet your kitchen looks great.

We did know ES's wife's parents before they met Rhinestone ; her mum and I were good friends for several years. We knew there were 'issues', to put it mildly but never thought there was anything or anyone that could destroy our relationship with our ES. There was of course just one person who could have done so; our ES and who'd have thought he'd do so.

Do you think it would have made any difference Yogagirl? Would she have listened to your concerns? I know how very close you were so maybe she would have thought carefully about what you may have said even if she ultimately didn't change her mind.

Celebgran Your Rosie is so adorable. It's hard when they are sick and so helpless. Your ring is pretty, a pink sapphire maybe? I think the letter your husband wrote is pretty benign. He was just giving information and he put the ball in their court so to speak.
We haven't decided if we will go to the estranged grandparents group they have near us in a couple weeks. It might help to hear what others have done. Isn't it a shame there is even a group for this?
Taking my friend out for her birthday today to a restaurant on the water. Love to eat by water. Have a good day all.

Thank you Yogagirl I survived but it still hurts.

At least during weekdays it is a (tiny bit) easier to be busy and try to take my mind off it.

Sparklygran Hope you got through your GD birthday OK, I know it's a hard day to get through

Rhinestone Thanks for articles, and yes if I had know my then future s.i.l was a gypsie, I may have tried to warn my D off right at the off-set of their relationship.

Celebgran lovely ring, Rosie looks lovely too, hope she is free of the cancer now for Rosie.

yet to read page 14....

celebgran what a gorgeous ring, a lovely colour ruby. And a lovely letter your DH wrote. What can I say.

Your little dog is very cute.

It all hurts, today I have cleaned the kitchen like a demon...keeping my mind off things.Keeping my mind off second DGD's birthday.

Have the best week you can ladies.

??lost my post.

So sorry sparklygran another birthday they hurt us Estranged grans don't they??
This was letter dh wrote to estranged.

It makes me cry redreading it as no response, how could I have been sjchnawful mum that my own daughter doesn't care a damn that I am having major surgery?

I know I loved her and did mynbest always but,we have to accept now it's over I personally will never contact her again it hurts tooo much another rejection

Gransnet deleted letter to estranged daughter as had my sons address surely that is up to me but fair enough her is edited version
I expect as well