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Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

(1001 Posts)
SparklyGrandma Mon 15-May-17 22:39:02

Dear celebgran eddiecat Yoga Norah Smileless I hope no one minds my starting a new thread as we had reached 1001 posts on thread ONE.

Here is wishing peace and healing, moving forward in positivity...

celebgran Sat 08-Jul-17 16:08:11

However on a happier note Collected my ring (or one of them ???)

Pic attached.
Also pic of my beautiful little wonderdog Rosie it was cancer but they hope removed all had spread to lymph nodes so can't be certain she is doing well so each day is a bonus,

I last wrote to ed in march to tell her about Rosie when we thought had lost her, she came with us to choose her 14 years ago so I wondered if she still cared about her she didn't, it was last time I will ever contact her,

It was dh who wrote ref my operation and I don't blame him for not understanding how cruel she is, he is so upset she ignored him. It's hard,

However we will enjoy our break especially,seeing Smileless but ?Our son so far away for a month!

Happy weekend all, we have dance tonight lunch with friends tomorow

Sorry going read all posts now!??

celebgran Sat 08-Jul-17 15:58:20

??lost my post.

So sorry sparklygran another birthday they hurt us Estranged grans don't they??
This was letter dh wrote to estranged.

It makes me cry redreading it as no response, how could I have been sjchnawful mum that my own daughter doesn't care a damn that I am having major surgery?

I know I loved her and did mynbest always but,we have to accept now it's over I personally will never contact her again it hurts tooo much another rejection

SparklyGrandma Sat 08-Jul-17 14:30:17

celebgran here the heat has been just about dealable with, but at night its hard to sleep.

One of my DGD birthdays this week. Thinking about ehr,w ishing her well and happy in her life. I will light a candle for her happiness at church this weekend.

flowers

eddiecat78 Sat 08-Jul-17 13:39:07

Rhinestone - when things first went wrong between us and DIL, her mother phoned me and said that she thought DIL found us rather cold as they were such a close family who shared everything - as time went on I discovered that in fact the mother hadn`t got a clue what her daughter was getting up to & what was happening in the marriage.

I did try to suggest to DIL that just because we were different didn`t mean that we shouldn`t be able to get on - but she really wasn`t interested in having a relationship with us no matter what

Rhinestone Sat 08-Jul-17 13:08:13

Eddiecat78 *Your DIL sounds immature not realizing that everyone is different and the world won't function as she and her parents do. In fact all of our EC are immature and cowardly for running away from us and not dealing with the communication they need to have to solve a problem. It's much easier to hide and not talk and have thoughts that may not be true about us. Sorry if I sound harsh but it's the conclusion I have come to realize.
Have a nice weekend everyone.

eddiecat78 Sat 08-Jul-17 12:41:10

Rhinestone - I`m afraid I can`t agree with the article. I would say our DIL has psychological issues but her argument was always that her parents were wonderful and we didn`t match up.

Luckylegs9 Sat 08-Jul-17 08:12:18

Enjoy your break, Smiless and Celebrgran. Everyone else have a great weekend. What a beautiful boy little Bradley was, I adored that innocent beaming smile, he bought so much love into the world, a short life, but what a truly inspirational one, he is with the angels, just wish I could stop the tears, thoughts with his family. X

celebgran Fri 07-Jul-17 12:36:47

It was lovley another scorcher here in Frinton on sea no ⛈ arrived.

Had an email from holiday booking smilless not. Long now!

We had let,evening with neibors who we hope will water plants again next week!
I managed few glasses ?White actually dh and Neibor were on ?.

Very tired today and back not good ?.
Going be pampered this afternoon hairdo?.
How is everyone bearing up in the ?

SparklyGrandma Fri 07-Jul-17 09:01:17

celebgran that sounds like a lovely day you had - no, would never do legal route myself but in the past did look into it, so just answering from previous posts about it....

Very true and useful Rhinestone thank you.

Another scorcher here in Wales. Favourite summer dress on and off out to meet for cuppa. cafe cafe cafe

Rhinestone Fri 07-Jul-17 01:06:22

We have talked about this and I thought this may reinforce what we have all said.

celebgran Wed 05-Jul-17 21:37:04

Well that's me cheered up my dear son been chatting on Facebook from Afghanistan and I joked forget what he looks like, he answered love you lots mum xxxx it was lovley as not private message so he quite proud of me bless him.

I think the legacy from estrangement is a tiny bit of vulnerability I notice I tend jump conclusions more if not careful and am defensive.

We had wonderful day out with my b friend club today coffee store garden centre, and scone, then lunch at marvellous pub right by river, then onto river trip cream tea on board.

Marred only by damn back and dh ringing cancel his talk talk contract only to find they hadn't cancelled it as asked month ago took hour and he decided take up sim only so renewed contract as only 4.45 month and he likes his phone
Fume fume??it took an hour and I was feeling queasy after coach trip.
So few word s were spoken.

Sparklygran u seem very interested in parents and courts were u thinking that way?

I don't regret putting ourselves through it.
it is possible to win contact a friend did, but it ruined her relationship with her daughter and sadly when her husband died the Grandaughter ended contact,
How sad is that?

SparklyGrandma Wed 05-Jul-17 11:29:09

Luckylegs I understand about what you say about a legal case....

Starlady thank you for saying I had got it in a nutshell! Smileless2012 - the parents would still have a potential upper hand.

Very very warm here this morning in Wales, ready with ice in the fridge to cope with temperatues of 24 degrees C plus.....lots of ice water and grapefruit juice (just a splash)...

Enjoy wherever you are ladies....if we can.....grin

Rhinestone Tue 04-Jul-17 11:18:25

LuckylegsYou said it... find another place to get my nails done. I'm lucky I did not get an infection. I'm better this week but cannot wear some sandals I love yet.
Smileless My DH and I have talked of crossing the pond but the scary times we live in have had us thinking twice. We do want to get to England and see where his mom's family lived before some came over here. Some are still there and they would be nice to visit also.
Boy, all that work on the taking down and putting up of the balcony is a big job for sure. Sorry it has to be that way for you . We were going to redo a bathroom but we decided to just not do it this year. Too much disruption and waiting for irresponsible people to show up all the time. Not sure my impatience can handle that.
Another night of non stop fireworks because of today's celebration. I told my DH that there should be NO celebration this year as it's embarrassing to be associated with our man baby president and all his mean tweeting. Going boating with mom today and then a barbecue here.
Sending you all a big hug and a ?

celebgran Tue 04-Jul-17 10:17:41

Lucklegs ?Younwere a great mum and Gra pin don't let them take that away from u off acquacise post more later. Also your Grandaughter will be able think it through herself please don't be down big hugs

Yippee we got cleaner. Start just before op.

Luckylegs9 Tue 04-Jul-17 10:04:11

I think I wouldtry to find someone else who concentrated on what she is doing. to your feet Rhinestone. Hope your foot is on the mend.
I would never have gone for visitation over my granddaughter, her parents would have had the best lawyers and would have taken absolutely no notice of what judgement was made, they would have kept going abroad and making life difficult for everyone, the one that suffered most would have been gd. As I found out recently, after that message, she has been brainwashed about me, her loyalty is with her parents and that lifestyle. I always used to have hope she would seek me out, but that has gone now, I have found this the hardest pill to swallow, I feel I don't exist. I used to cling to that vain hope she would want a relationship with me, but no more. It is do hard just going on for yourself, how I wish I didn't have feelings. I know I have sons phone calls, but it isn't the same as seeing him and his family. Oh dear feeling very sorry for myself, must snap out of it. Love to all of you.

Smileless2012 Tue 04-Jul-17 09:37:35

Your present sounds lovely Celeb you'll have to wear it all next week so I can see it; I'm already formulating a plan to pinch it off yougrin; might try and pinch your DH toogringrin.

If only we'd known you were a Cliff fan Celeb, as you say we could have organised our meeting around his concert. I'll have to let you know who'll be performing next year in case there's anyone you want to see, if there is you and DH can stay with ussmile.

Tom Jones was brilliant; what a voice; he looked amazing too. We've never been fans exactly, don't have any of his records but just wanted to take the opportunity to see him and we're so glad that we did. It would have been silly to miss it with us living within walking distance.

We can't see the arena from our roof terrace, not even with binoculars Yogagirl but we could have heard it all. When we were walking home after Cliff, we passed by a couple sat outside the front of their house with a bottle ofwine. They said they'd really enjoyed listening to the music and would do the same thing on Sunday for Tom Jones; sure enough, they were theresmile.

There aren't any legal implications Sparkly if EAC refuse to go for mediation but it does demonstrate to the judge, if it goes to court, their unwillingness to try and resolve the problem.

We saw the shocking report last night on the children's home in Jersey and Jersey's record for the abuse of children in care.
Mr. S. said he wondered if when ES heard of such terrible cases if he appreciated how lucky he'd been and what a great childhood he'd had: I very much doubt itangry.

That's awful about your foot Rhinestone. Another reason to come to the UK, you can have Celeb for your treatments who would never be so careless, you can get away from Trump and enjoy some Englishbrew; are you tempted?

I went for an 8 mile bike ride with the girls yesterday; really enjoyed it and am going to go a couple of times a week. K told me of another route along the sea front but there are some substantial hills to climb on the way home. hmm I think I'll have to work my way up to that one.

The lovely builders are coming tomorrow to dismantle the glass balcony with Mr. S. then they'll come back on Thursday, do the necessary work to the wall and put the balcony back up. I'll be glad when it's all finished and be hoping and praying that it works.

We're having the new utility and bathroom flooring fitted tomorrow but the joiner can't come and do the kitchen floor until August 9th so I'll just have to be patient; not one pf my virtues but I'll do my best.

Starlady Mon 03-Jul-17 23:54:39

Sparkly, I think you said it all in a nutshell, as far as gp vs. parent cases are concerned!

Thanks for the further information, Celeb! I understand about the "benefit to the child" being the important thing. But as your niece's situation shows, these cases can get complicated even when 2 parents are involved. Probably harder for us gps, I imagine. So sad.

Wonderful gift from dh, celeb! Hope you enjoy it!

SparklyGrandma Mon 03-Jul-17 22:52:00

celebgran I have heard people make things up in custody (between parents) but these days its considered 'shared parental rights'.The change took place in the last few years though, I know in my day, mother ruled.

Awful for your nephew in law.

It sounds like beautiful new jewelry ruby and diamond celebgran..

celebgran Mon 03-Jul-17 19:00:07

Sparklygran parents dont have equal rights the mother rules if she wants custody it is almost always granted to her and as in my niece case sadly they often lie to get it.

A woman scorned!

So very very sad for children. NO wonder they a divorce or split affects a child for life.

celebgran Mon 03-Jul-17 18:58:02

Omg rhinestone I would be mortified if I did that to a client!
I just wouldn't do it take much more care,

Starlady the only thing that matters is the benefit to the child, in our case our daughter had cut off her entire family, and the judge would work out if my daughter
Divorced or lost her in laws the children would have absolutely no one from her side family according to last solicitor we paid.

They would also take into account all we had done for her including providing roof over children's head and her extreme attitude in ostracising her parents, brother, godparents aunts uncles cousins everyone.
If this is actually beneficial to children?

However we have left it far too late now I think, and to be honest if it comes down to a court battle isnit sort it?

Parents actually have rights but only to a degree my niece managed to lie about her partner and stop him seeing his daughters. Mothers seem to have upper hand in most cases,

It

celebgran Mon 03-Jul-17 18:48:37

the solicitor told us that there is nothing to lose from mediation and no judge would be happy at a client outright refusing to mediate court costs are astronomic and it is seen as unhelpful to put it politely.

Wow I do have wonderful husband who has now chosen me another ruby and diamond ring, gorgeous earrings and beautiful ankle chain with diamond heart, the man serving us was wonderful took ages, and also we found a beautiful onyx and diamond ring for myndesr husband.

Mum better than doing housework we had planned, also ran into Joan's cleaner in marks and guess what she agreed come do us couple hours each Thursday afternoon sorted date before op come and visit.
Dh was help to her at work Saturday apparently so bless him she wants to help us!

At fist she said sorry not doing any more clients then realised was only temporary and was so grateful to dh,!

We got phone call from my twin sitting outside house while we on way home ? so great have catch up with him!

Very good day all round.

SparklyGrandma Mon 03-Jul-17 16:03:43

Luckylegs sorry to hear you were triggered in church. Sad triggers are all around. Hope you feel better as week goes on flowers

SparklyGrandma Mon 03-Jul-17 16:01:28

Starlady my understanding is that the odds are stacked on the parents side, in a grandparents vs parent visitation case.

An unwillingness on estAC to attend mediation might mean they end up in Court BUT the hearing is not equal as one in a divorce where both parents start with technically equal parental rights (until proved otherwise).

Starlady Mon 03-Jul-17 13:45:25

Rhinestone, sorry about your foot. Hope you feel better soon.

Smileless, sounds like you and Mr.S are having a lot of fun! Enjoy Tom Jones! Can't wait to hear all about it!

Starlady Mon 03-Jul-17 13:43:51

Celeb, I get that it wastes the court's time if an eac doesn't come to mandatory mediation. Also, of course, if it's mandatory, they're legally supposed to come.

But I still don't see how it "goes against" them in any meaningful way if they don't. Are they held in contempt of court? If the gps then file a court application, is the judge more likely to award them visitation because the eac didn't show up for mediation? It just seems to me that the odds are stacked in favor of the eac/young parents, period, except in cases where they've been ruled "unfit."

Glad Steve and partner are happy in new home. Sorry you can't see him for a while though. Also, glad you had such a lovely time with niece and kids.

As for your elderly neighbor's refusal to wear a hearing aid - Ugh! Idk why some people won't do what they need to do to get on with life. Vanity, I suppose. But then, how "good" do they think they "look" when people have to shout in order to talk with them, etc? Doesn't make sense really. Good on you for being wiser than that!

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