Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

Damn typos meant keep awake!

Oh thanks lucklylegs I guess you are right I do have unconditional love for both my kids,

It has caused me lot pain though hasn't it?

We did enjoy day but I was in lot pai. As always a d glad to get home.
To be honest it was very much just musical version of calendar girls so bit boring, and very hot in theatre had job to keep away we both did!
Had lovely lunch at Italian first tho and glad we coped.

Today finished unpacking lady bits and have regular pedicure and waxing to do my ed godmother,
They drew line and stopped writing cards etc to ed and our g children as soon as ed stopped thanking them more sense than us but I guess as lucklegs said it's my unconditional love ❤️

We seeing my dear. Nephews wife and little ones next Friday yippee.

Other goodnfriends had ther first Grandson month old now,
It hurts like hell somehow remembering how thrilled we were so pleased for them but expect is touch jealousy.

Smilelss ??very kind

We still reeling from neibor saying she didn't like red wine we gave her for watering plants and it was too much for her
Mum we fed her 3 costs for years never complained or asked for something better this time crap she gave us. Hey ho there life. I was v hurt.

Starlady, yes that's good it works for you, in my case that would have provoked.

So sorry that happened, Rhinestone. Glad you spoke up about ds' rudeness though, and that he apologized. Is there something in what you said that you could apologize for, too? Maybe then, there won't be an estrangement?

Luckylegs, idk. I think disagreeing on an issue and objecting to mistreatment are 2 different things. I generally keep quiet if I disagree with a decision dd has made about her kids or her life - not my business. But I won't accept rudeness. Ok, I guess I've let some minor things go, but on the rare (fortunately) occasion she has gotten really rude, I'll speak up or say something like, "You've had a bad day (that's usually when it happens), let's talk later." I get it if she's feeling down or whatever, but don't take it out on me.

Celebregran, hope you enjoyed the matinee, it bought a lump to my throat when you said, regardless of anything you would see your daughter, you are not a nutcase, but remarkable, to say that after all you have been through. I wish I was like that. You have what is called unconditional love, most of us say, enough is enough I'm not putting myself through all this, but you always put her first regardless of your pain. Whatever has happened you never wavered, just kept trying. ??

Should have said things were fine, not find, I blame this I pad.

Rhinestone, I am sorry about this latest altercation with your son, the dread of more distance between you. I have come to realise that the people I know still in the bosum of their families, take a passive role with their adult children, they don't contradict, just go along with things as if the children know best, they say it's not worth it, know what I think. I have always had a mind of my own, but look where it's got me, if I disagree I put my point across, not aggressively, but do it all the same. I would do it differently. You lost it a bit because he didn't agree with what you said, but does it matter for peace. Might it be best to let things like that just go, because it's red rag to a bull. I have taken offence at the way I was treated and think I should now have just let it go, because I always came out the worst. No contact doesn't hurt them because they have partners and full lives, saves them bothering. If I had my time again, I would just not have confrontation and walk away for a while. Could you take the lighthearted approach and ring your son and just say to him, sorry we saying we disagreed, I shouldn't have sounded off. Swallowing pride I know, but it will be worth it if it avoid another estrangement, because apart from this difference of opinion things we find, perhaps you are too alike. My own situation is so upsetting, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I expect an apology if I have been treated badly, now know it's like asking for the moon because they don't come. I hope I haven't offended you,I say this because we are all getting older and you don't want to end up like me.
?

Smileless2012 yes its sad we have to do that.

Luckylegs sending strength.....

Thank you celebgran and sad for your offering a [tree] of them. Enjoy your matinee out.

My goodness the Brits sure move around a lot. I found this post while I had been posting on another. What's wrong with me that I keep loosing everyone?
Anyways had a good Memorial weekend here in th states. Mom turned 88 and that was nice.
Had a setback with former estranged son because he didn't agree with what I said. Told me he would see me again in two years and called me an idiot.
I was so upset that I yelled at him to never talk to me like that again .. that I was his mom and he wouldn't be here if it was for me. He then said he should have said I was talking like an idiot, like that is better. Then he texted my DH and said he shouldn't have said the word idiot. But he never said anything about the two year thing..So now I have to worry that he will estrange himself from me again for two years? I'm at the point where I have to say okay if that's what he wants. I can't do the on again off again relationship. What happened to my little boy who was so easy to bring up? I will not live with the threat of estrangement handing over my head again.
Today we are seeing friends and they blocks away from the ESS. I think we will drive by since they don't know our car.

Well said Annsixty

If all nutcases are as lovely as you Celeb the world could do with a lot more of them.

It was good to see your post LLit upsets us all when we know one of us is suffering. I'm glad you managed to get some sleep last night.

Yes Sparkly we do have the right to protect ourselves. None of us would ever have believed we'd have to do so from our own child but we must.

Yogagirlyou did well to stay on the 'phone and listen to your ED's rants; I'd have hung up.

So sorry Luckylegs to hear you have had to deal with that. I would be tempted to consider blocking emails from your estD, especially if it really makes you feel ill.

We have the right to protect ourselves from continuing meanness from estrangedAC, don't we ladies?

annsixty I agree, living our lives, will be maddening to people who might want to imagine us cowed, suffering...etc.

Starlady thank you and yes, I try and enjoy life, thank goodness for friends, as well as other family, I say!

Oh Luckylegs So very sorry about the hate email from your estD, why would she, when you have made no contact Maybe she liked you running after her and missed it! and to say to forget it, I know you can't. When my D first estranged just before Xmas, just after Xmas I received a call from her, I didn't say a word, she just ranted on and on until the phone went down. That evening another call, this time I managed to say a few things and I hoped that maybe this was a break-through, but obviously not She said some things, that was turning a scenario from one person onto me, I put her right, but I know this was down to her nasty H. So I think these calls and your email, are actually reaching out!
for you, to try to cheer you a little and a }}}HUG{{{

Celeb,Smileless,Sparkly,Stardlady, Yogagirl and Ann Sixty and everyone else on here, your supportive messages meant such a lot, last night after an afternoon gardening and an evening on the phone talking things over with a friend, went to bed and actually slept for 6 hours, miracle for me. Today's another day and I have to put what's written on the back burner. Celeb, I understand that you want some form of acknowledgement or message from your daughter, but as was said to me, you lost your daughter many years ago, when we had a brief meeting, as has happened in the past, I felt worse after than if we hadn't met for that half hour. I have been in bits after nasty messages, so there is no going back for me. I think life is too short not to be happy. So thank you everyone.?

So sorry, Luckylegs! But I agree with Smileless that she is probably trying to get a reaction from you. Maybe she doesn't like that you're able to go so long without contacting her, even though she thinks it's perfectly ok the other way around.

Or maybe, as celeb suggests, she's trying to "build bridges." But nasty messages aren't the way to do it. If you don't reply, maybe she'll come up with a better way to reconnect. But even if she doesn't, you may have spared yourself a barrage of such nasty messages. (((Hugs)))

Damn just lost huge post,

Well said annsixty I think that's spot on.

I don't think our ed is thrilled we are ?enjoying wonderful holidays and the love of our dear son and his family and extended family.

I would still consider talking to her as I will always love her so that makes me bit of a nutcase I guess,

Lucklylegs ???we are all here for you please don't be too down,
I honestly think your ed wants build bridges but I realise you feel unable to.
She is going strange way about it but must be thinking of you to contact you.

We have never ever heard from our ed except horrid letter from police or solicitor which all but destroyed us,

On bright note trip to London tomorrow to see the Girls with matinee club,
Will take stick and lots pain relief ?.

HAVE GOOD evening all and sparklygran???for you too so hard when you offer olive branches and they ignored
My counsellor said I had offered a ? tree of them quite true

The best "revenge" is to enjoy your life. They will hate that.

I'm so very sorry Luckylegs. Why do that? Why send you a nasty message? She doesn't want you in her life, you're not in her life so why can't she just leave you alone? Perhaps she's looking for a reaction, well don't give her one. She's not worth it.

My thoughts are with you too, as always but a little more intensely just now having seen your post.

Yes condolences Celeb, sad news.
I have had another knock back, awful message sent to me from estranged, just out of the blue, why, I have kept to myself for ages, she really hates me I think. Spent the the day thinking, I can't go on, yet I must, but to be the focus of such dislike upsets me and I just wonder how long I can hang on.
Thought are with all of you.

Sorry, celeb, about the passing of your ex-sil and your nephew's loss. So sad.

Appreciate the irony you pointed out, Smileless.

SparklyGrandma, it was very kind of you to try to reconcile with estds, despite his remarks. Sorry that it hasn't worked out.

Glad you had fun with your friend last night Hope you still find many ways to laugh and enjoy yourself, regardless of the estrangement.

celebgran, If only we were all as perfect as the typo police.

Thank you celebgran - for saying is there a way back from what my estDS said.

I have tried to reconcile since then, so I must have tried to forgive him in some part, in order to try and see him.

But now after all that, with no contact nor result on my efforts, the original insensitivity around my illness, is insurmountable all round maybe.

Sunny here and just off out. Last night went and saw Lucy Worsley talk about her new Jane Austen book. She is SO funny and entertaining. Myself and friend had such a good laugh. [flower].

No worries Celeb, I know what you meant. So sorry to hear about your ex s.i.l. Very sad for her sons; funny old world isn't it, children losing mothers they love and others discarding theirs because they no longer want them around.

Crucifies oh dear the typo police will have field day,

Do you know what crucifixes me that myndajghter bes friend who I showed nothing but kindness and hospitality too always was the one who ran me down wholesale in text to my estranged daughter

She would know more than. Anyone all we did for her always,

What on earth lies did xxx tell her that's the hurtful thing
Next to betraying my confidence over telling xxx about my depression and breakdowns after losing my dad at 16

Speaking of which sad to say my twins ex wife died while we on holiday and I feel sad for her boys I sat on fence and never took sides really best not to, tho of course my heart was with my twin,

Sadly she had problems for years but her boys showed her love and loyalty always I envied that.

I realise I am lucky to have that from my lovely son was thinking of ed obviously,

Life really is too short to be so cruel to your parents,

Yes Smileless