Continued support and fun aspects too of rebuilding lives after estrangement can't believe 4 years and we still here to offer help, friendship and support.TWO

Thanks everyone.
I`m just having a de-clutter session and keep bumping into the second hand cot which we bought when GS was born nearly 8 years ago - for the times we thought he would be staying with us. It`s never been slept in. I don`t know what to do with it. There is a chance DD will have children but I almost feel I am tempting fate by hanging on to the cot.

Morning all, eddiecat sorry to hear of your DS's separation. Divorce these days means both parents have parental responsibility, so it may take time but proper visits with your DGC and DS may end up happening.

celeb I hope this morning, another day, towards feeling better.

Eddie, I think it's normal for us to feel a little sad when we see a marriage fall apart, especially if it's our own AC's. It's good that ds is getting out of this unhappy situation, but I know you wish it could have been different.

Imo, you're being very realistic about seeing your gc, and that's good. I hope ds gets his visitation worked out during the divorce proceedings and doesn't trust dil to keep her word informally. Once it's all worked out legally, then, I'm sure you'll get to see the kids. Maybe before, but I wouldn't count on it.

Eddicat??so very sad and worrying for you and your son.

I do hope and pray d imlaw is not unreasonable.

In the end the children suffer no one else when Estranged children or spouses become difficult using innocent children as pawns,

Thanks eddiecat and all of you!
Smilelss visitors onlynallowed stay hour, and they all helping? My oldest friend bought pillows today and other bits shopping she also organinsingn Rosie's tablets at vets for us (tummy)

Yes my dear i law to be is a diamond,
My dear hairdresser been in daily contact too.
Surrogate daughters are rather good!
Ds hopes marry end Dec or early jan when his m i law is over from s Africa v exciting !

Well yesterday's friends collected my suppository script will not be having more been in loo ever since !
On brighter note managed all excercises today and one day nearer to getting clips out.
Dr says no stairs until after then at earliest which is Thursday mind you not felt well enough.

Dh is getting very tired and flustered my heart goes out to him as I am so dependent on him.

Smilelss how's things? Did you have a blip I read somewhere, ??

Welcome back Celeb, the thread hasn't been the same without you. It's going to be a long road that takes you to a full recovery so you must try and be patient.

It's great that you're up to visitors but don't over do it, take everything slowly. I'm so pleased that your d.i.l. sent you such a thoughtful gift and that DS is loving and supporting his wonderful mum. Hope Mr. C's managing OK. It must have been lovely to get back home to little Rosie.

eddie there must be so many conflicting emotions for your right now. I hope your DS is doing OK, it's not easy to accept that a marriage is over. My friend's son divorced about 3 years ago. His ex was being very difficult about him seeing their son; cancelling visits at the last moment etc.

He went to court and has his son every other weekend, once evening a week for tea (not to stop over) and for half of all school holidays. Try not to worry. His wife may be difficult to begin with but hopefully as with my friend's son, things will settle down and the children's interests will come first.

*"Eddiecat*If they divorce would the courts not give him child visitation?

Maddy - feel I must explain - we have seen the grandchildren occasionally during that time - but were always excluded from the big events - always felt we were the bottom of the list when arrangements were being made. It is 12 months since we saw them in the flesh but have had one or 2 Skype calls - when their mother was out. I am very fortunate compared to some on here.

Despite all this I do feel sad that the marriage is ending - DS absolutely adored her when they got together- if she had just been a bit more reasonable they could have had a very happy life together

Hi Celeb, hope today is a good day and your pain isn't too bad.
Starlady, thanks for hugs, very appreciated.
Eddie, can't even imagine how you must feel, 8 years, such a long time. Sending to you.

Celeb - hope you are starting to feel better today.

DS finally moved out of the marital home at the weekend. I thought I would be relieved but I just feel very sad and very anxious about what DIL will do next. She has said she is happy for him to see the children whenever he wants but going on past experience that isn`t likely to happen.
We thought we might see the grandchildren this summer but we probably won`t now, and we don`t want to do anything to antagonise her. Perhaps we will see them at Christmas. If we do it will be the first time in 8 years as DIL has always said they are too busy in the past

Morning Celebgran yes you mustn't over do it and follow what the doctors advise. My friends husband shouldn't have been driving! but because he has been very seriously ill with cancer & reoccurring, I think he just thinks 'sod it', we all did say to him he shouldn't be Obviously it wouldn't be the same as your op. He had pins put either side of spine, he didn't want to have the op, but doctors said he would end up in a wheel chair if he didn't. Anyway he has recovered really well & looks quite fit & healthy in himself considering the op he's just had
Wish you a speedy recovery C

Maddy - (((Hugs)))

Celeb - Wishing you a steady recovery. Sorry it will take longer than you thought, but like others, I'm not surprised. I agree with Eglantine because Iv seen the same results with relatives who "kept pushing the boundaries" set by their doctors.

More friends coming again tomorrow only came fri I do feel blessed!

Dear son rang they booked 26th sat sun to come stay ?Feeling v ? just want pain to go.

Celeb gram, do hope you feel better soon, but sounds like it's going to be a good while before your back to normal.
Starlady, the threats have been by text, and despite her having a couple of phone conversations with her Dad, one not pleasant, the other reasonably pleasant, she has ignored my latest text, so not much opportunity to say anything very much to her, my text was pleasant wishing her a nice day and telling her we were travelling up for the funeral today. She just ignored it.

Sorry this morphine meant sparklyngran yes it was lovely of my d imlaw and I must realise just seen smug selfie my ed posted on what would. Been her Grandad's 100th no mention and they were so close he was her gramps and only grandparent she knew what is wrong with her?
Not to mention me I. Agony up the road her mum totally utterly ignored,
I looked at the picture and felt not one oz of warmth.

Thanks so much eglantine very helpful post going show mr c,
Yes northern soul those that love me have been there and I am very very blessed.

Our friends visited was t feeling great but good c them and they bought shopping and meds for me. X

celeb isn't it funny discovering after major surgery that a small thing like dry shampoo can help you feel a bit tidier, when a bath is out of the question?

People who love you are the one's showing up. What a lovely person your DS's partnet is, what a lovely thought.

I remember after major surgery 10 years ago, how awful I felt afterwards. It takes a while and maybe use simple things to distract from awfulness and pain.

((( hug )))

Crikey,Celeb.
Here's some more shamrock
??????
Don't mean to be flippant... your body has to recover and will take it's own time.
Each hour of each day is a step along the way.

NSx

I've looked after two relatives through major surgery and I would say 10 weeks before you even start to feel like yourself. This seems like a long time and is not meant to depress you but sometimes thinking that you ought to be feeling better or that the pain ought be getting less is depressing by itself.
Please do only what the doctors advise. Don't try to do more. One of my "patients" did absolutely no more than she was allowed and is now fit and healthy, the other one kept pushing the boundaries and has a number of minor problems linked to not giving herself time to heal.
That's the end of the lecture. Wishing you well[??

Yogagirl no way your friend has had major surgery like mine I am no allowed out to even have clips out distric nurse coming next Thursday.
Gp visitting for dressings so you get the picture
It will be 8 weeks before I can even consider leaving house,
Do you know what he had done?
I have had bolts posts fixed to 2 verterbrae and decompression.
After I see surgeon in 8 weeks he will decide if I can do more. That will be my first outing ??
We underestimated it completely I am not allowed to drive for 8 weeks either only then if get ok from doctor,

He must have had minor surgery to be driving in 2 weeks,

Welcome back Celebgran
Early days, it will get better now, saw my friends husband yesterday, walking & driving, bit of pain, but not too bad, saw his scare, not nice to see scare there on spine, but clearing nicely, just needs stitches out now, then all done!
He looked really well in himself, so won't be too long till you are in the same place as him, so just hang on in there.

Maddy, when dd threatens to cut you out, maybe that would be a good time to end the conversation? Maybe you could say something like, "I see you're very upset now. Let's call it a day and talk more when you've calmed down," Would that help or make things worse?

Good to see you posting again, Celeb! Sorry about the pain, of course - here's hoping it will be behind you soon.

What a thoughtful gift from ds' partner! Glad you're seeing visitors, too. But please take it easy. Don't worry about how often you post here - just do the best you can. Please focus on your recovery.

Thank you Celeb, I hope you recover quickly from your operation, what a lovely DIL to bring you such a thoughtful gift. I've been reading some more of this thread and trying to find out more about you all, it's taking me a while as there's 35 pages, and I keep checking who is replying to who, but I'm getting there slowly.
The worst of it is realising just what you've all been through, it's almost unbelievable that a child can hurt their own mother the way some of you have been hurt. Why is this happening, there seems to be an epidemic of it. Not only here, but I have friends whose children have done this. My sister did it. My daughter threatens to do it. I will never, never understand. You've probably all had these thoughts but you're so much further down the road that no one wants to travel.

CelebGlad its over for you . Now on to your recovery. You obviously are cared about by many with the visits and gifts. Cry if you want. But those that TRULY love and care about you are showing up. Going to ?? In your honor.