New life at 65

Congratulate yourself! I wish I could find the courage ....
Good luck, health and happiness to you!

If you have a local library and have not been using it, that is probably a good place to start. Just sitting and reading the newspapers there, browsing around, you will probably get to know regular people. They have books of local associations and their notice board will have local activities etc.

Total bliss being single after 3 difficult and abusive marriages. I now do all the things I've never been able to do - learn languages, go to night school, and best of all - paint my beautiful and well-selling flower paintings! No man to demand dinner on the table at 6 - I eat and sleep whenever I want, go out when I want and am assured of a calm life, wonderful son and his family and a small group of fab friends who I see when mutually convenient! I will NEVER look to have another relationship - heaven forbid! Join some clubs, go to the theatre with friends and if you are fit join the local tennis/bowls/whatever group and have fun! Congratulations and best of luck! xx

Lizzie and Starlady say what I feel. Although in my case I was widowed, thought my world had ended, I have never wanted anyone but him, but I too am a happy singleton, it more than compensates for the lonely moments we all get. I have already planned my new holiday for next year though, it's going to be expensive so thus year I am catching up on those jobs at home that I do myself. The only problem I have is not seeing my daughter, but that wouldn't change if I had a partner. I put my music on, light scented candles and drink my Pinot or Chardonnay and put my feel up. Heaven.

How about the fact that you can now watch any tv program you want at any time that you're home, day or night. You can go to sleep early if you want to and get up in the middle of the night, turn on the light and read for a while if you wish. You can vacation anywhere in the world or just lie in bed till noon every day when you have time off. It may take time to adjust, but please try to enjoy your newfound freedom!

The thing I most appreciated once I had left an unhappy marriage was not having to worry about the atmosphere in the house when I came home from work or being out somewhere, not having to anticipate what his temper or mood would be. The bliss of opening my front door, with certainty that my home would be calm and welcoming. And I took pleasure in ensuring that my home smelled fresh and pleasant, that there was a welcoming lamp lit (it was wintertime), that I could turn on music or the radio to something I wanted to listen to, and could sit down with a freshly made brew in peace and quiet. It more than compensated for the occasional panic and loneliness when I worried about my future alone.
Good luck, Heathers

Start by congratulating yourself on your independence !

Wow! After 40 years? I wish I was that brave!!!!

If you're feeling down, heathers, remind yourself why you left him! I've been single now for nine years and it can be awkward at times. The world of social interaction is largely populated by couples but there are distinct advantages to being partner free. You can please yourself what you're going to do/not do, buy, wear, eat, when you'll sleep, get up, whether/where to go on holiday (or not to go at all), who you'll call friends, how much time you spend with friends...

Embrace singledom. There's a lot to be said for the freedom of it.

Apologies, of course, to any GNer who may be recently bereaved or whose partner has left them. I've been widowed nine years and would not celebrate that fact. It was truly tragic. I'm realistic enough, though, to accept my single life and I don't mind admitting I will never pursue another relationship.

I agree heathers small steps one at a time. Start by giving yourself small treats, a new book, chocs an outing to a favourite place. I lived alone for ten years and it is much better than living with someone you don't want to be with. There will be times when you are lonely but pick up the phone, get on GN. Volunteers are always wanted in all spheres of life. Embrace your new life, and live it for you.

Sorry typo,that should read.....don't rush into anything.

One step at at time Heathers I should think.If you are already living somewhere after leaving him, then think about what you want from life.If you are feeling lonely and have no family near, join a couple of clubs locally, such as WI or a history or gardening or book club to meet new people.Don't rush into anything ( relationship) it will take you time to adjust to your new life.?

This may sound a bit trivial, but as a start, think about the things that you couldn't do when you were with him, even something as simple as eating a food that you like but never served because he didn't like it, then think to yourself "ooh goody, I can do this now!"
I can still remember the pleasure I got from eating my first lamb chop for years.
I know this is only a small thing, but small things add up.
Best of luck with your new life.