Should we be more selfish?

I would definitely go away for a short break, we often pick up special weekend offers, it's lovely to have a little change of scenery. We had a weekend away for our 40th, at a lovely country hotel, all paid for by DS and DD even our meals and wine. Maybe if we're lucky they'll do it again for our 50th in a couple of years

We always celebrate family occasions with a get-together and I'm pretty certain we all enjoy it (nobody's complained yet, anyway ). It doesn't have to be on the day itself though, does it? Some of ours are weeks either side of the date, just so that we can all make it. I certainly wouldn't hold it against any of my lot if they had other plans on a particular date - we all have busy lives. Why not just do whatever you want with your OH on the date itself and celebrate with them when you all get back?

You can of course celebrate your Ruby Anniversary as you wish, just don't do it in the spirit of redress as it were. Your family have had an offer they would like to take up, and indeed have done so, so that leaves you free to 'do your own thing' too, on this occasion.

But take each situation as it arises and don't burn your boats by striking out independently and spending the kids inheritance just because!

Enjoy your me/us time AND enjoy the closeness you obviously have with your family too. They are not mutually exclusive but neither are you all joined at the hip.

Emelle your Daughter is living her own life and so she should as she is a grown up, you too are a grown up and should be living your own life no watching it pass by in case your adult child needs a few pounds. It is not your job to pay for a grown woman and her family. She obviously isnt interested in being with you for your Ruby wedding Anniversary or your Husbands birthday so let her get on with it and lead your own life.

Treat yourselves while you can like others have said you don't know what's round the corner . Enjoy

I would entirely endorse that - because of my OH's PD our ability to go out and enjoy ourselves together has gone down the pan completely. Do it while you can - you do not know what is around the corner.

That way, both you and your family will be having a good time in your own different ways. Just enjoy!

We had a weekend away for our 40th and and have booked another for H's 70th birthday next year. D and partner wouldn't have appreciated what it cost us for a big family meal and we don't have enough family and friends for a party.
I'd far rather spend our money on us not selfish at all Emelle

Please, whilst you have each other and are fit enough, take that holiday, make it the most indulgent wonderful holiday you can. If you have spare money spend it on yourself. I always put family before myself, bought them the nice things and holidays, helped with deposit on houses etc. Wish my late husband and myself had put ourselves first, on my own now, my children, they have far more than I could ever dream of and have what they want. Do it.