Do not want to move

I think M0nica was referring to where I quoted the OP in January where her partner wanted to move to his "home town, Newcastle". The current thread just says "far north nearer his family".
I am assuming the situation has not changed.

Mawboons quote appears to be a copy of flamencos original question in january I can't see where it indicates she has left the discussion am I being stupid and missing the obvious

FarNorth she has. See Mawbroon's quote from a message received from her on page 2 of this thread.

Flamenco appears to have disappeared.

Flamenco hasn't said that Newcastle is the suggested destination.
Maybe it is Thurso or Wick.

And friendly people!

And the Sage for music.

And a great university!!

Flamenco Have you ever visited Newcastle? From the way you talk, it doesn't sound like it.

Newcastle is a large cosmopolitan city with a good cultural life, whatever your interests. It has a major art centre in the Baltic, a wonderful riverside area and the city is surrounded by spectacular countryside. it is a busy vibrant city. Whatever you enjoy doing, you will be able to do it in Newcastle.

Is it colder than the rest of the UK? perhaps slightly, but housing in the area has all modern conveniences including central heating and wearing a warm winter coat, scarf and gloves when out in winter, is really not that difficult.

I fully understand your worries about moving from friends and family and that is certainly an issue, but that is no excuse for painting an internal picture of the north of England that seems to be more based on the books of Catherine Cookson than the reality of what the north east is in the 21st century.

Can I join you?
I'm only 20 miles south.

?

Hi mcem, I'm guessing you're in bonny Scotland. Those of us north of Hadrian's wall must stick together!

lizzy You mean 'down south' in Northumberland????
I agree it's a lovely part of the world.

I think some people have an idea of 'The North' as a place of deprivation, dark satanic mills and smoking factory chimneys! They imagine men in flat caps standing on street corners with a whippet on a piece of string and women on doorsteps wearing pinnies, with their curlers hidden under turbans, their stockings rolled down to the ankles and a fag in the corner of their mouths! Wrong!

Our country is so small there's hardly room for a north/south divide and it's time the myth was busted! Mind you, I wouldn't trade the quiet roads, deserted beaches and the stunning beauty of Northumberland for anything.

What do you actually mean by 'the North'?
Glasgow isn't the same as Newcastle and Huddersfield isn't like Inverness.
To lump 'everything north of Watford' into one huge amorphous area really is quite ridiculous!

Flamenco I had this situation after i married my second husband, we had a lovely bungalow, and he wanted to move into a village, not too far away,but the house was horrible, it had no bathroom, and a downstairs toilet, but a large garden where he wanted to build a pigeon loft, and keep pigeons
When he took me to see it i cried, hated it and told him so,
I knew i couldnt be happy there, and the decorations were awful. he didnt care,he spent most of the time with his pigeons, but the main thng was there were very few buses, and i had 6 month old twins,in a double buggy, so had to walk miles to the next small town, i didnt drive,i was like a prisoner, i stuck it for 3 years and left,
I had no friends there and wasnt allowed to see anyone
He was a controlling man, sounds like your husband, he should take your feelings into consideration,or you will end up resenting him,

The title of the thread you have chosen is Do not want to move ....... then you have answered your own question If not wanting to move is stronger than your ten (or eight) year love then DONT move, if your love of your man is stronger than your personal feelings of community, friends, family and comfort zone then move

Only you can decide, no one else can help you with this, it is your decision alone and only you know which will win ....if you had this dilemma six months ago and it's still not resolved your husband is being very patient perhaps you can hang on another six months and he ll forget it altogether or go without you

Recently joined. I moved to Yorkshire for 20 years. Rented out the London house to test the waters, then sold it.BUT needed to come back - (I live alone now). HUGE downsize! Wish I'd rented out the London house and rented in the north too. I miss Yorkshire and Northumberland, they are so beautiful - and it looks as if you can avoid the winters by going to Spain. Make new friends by joining U3A - most of my original London friends have now sadly died but I have a good social network. I can understand the doubts, but give it a trial run

We have also thought of moving but if we do we will rent out our house for year and then rent in the area we are thinking of going to. Suggest you do the same

When we were first married and thinking of moving I told my husband I would never move further north than East Anglia, I too am very much a Southerner and would not be happy living in the north. At the present we live in a village in Cambridgeshire but we are soon moving to Kent.I love Canterbury, so I am happy with that decision.
I have family in Spain and we go there quite often too. I think your husband is being very unfair.

Add comment | Report | Private message flamenco Fri 06-Jan-17 10:43:35
Am I being unreasonable? My partner of eight years has decided we should move to his home town Newcastle. When I first met him I said that I couldn't live up there, he agreed it was very cold and he didn't want to go there either, until now! I have said I don't want to go. My daughters live in Australia my son outside Manchester. My brother cousin old friends all live in the South, I know nobody up there, and I really don't like it and can find no positives. We have a tiny place in Spain and live there for some weeks of the year. We are no longer young and the thought of moving so far north scares me quite a lot

Has this not been resolved? I should have thought that to live a shorter distance from your DS in Manchester (and grandchildren?) would have been a factor. And if you spend six months of the year in Spain anyway that is even further away from your friends in the South.
I wondered what you mean by far north though in your first post, Wick, Thurso?
For some people Yorkshire might seem "far north", but when I lived in the south of Scotland, "doon Sooth" could be anywhere south of and including Newcastle.
It's hardly polar bear country!

Shouldn't he be taking your feelings into account as well. I would definately dig my heels in because the resentment will eat you up inside.

You have to do what's best for you.

I left the Isle of Man 33 years ago because my husband wanted to work in the West Country. I have regretted it every single day since. Mainly because he did not ASK me if I wanted to move - and I did not.

I cannot afford to go back to the place I love but it does not stop me looking at cottages there on a daily basis.

Our marriage is long over, and I am sure taking me away from the place I loved and the people and lifestyle I loved was the main cause.

Be careful and do what you want because his attitude could also indicate other underlying problems with him. Good Luck.

It all depends what relatives he has up North. He has lived in the South all these years for you to be near a brother and your friends, but if he has children or parents in Newcastle then he has been making a big sacrifice on your behalf. Is it your turn to reciprocate? The other option is to go your own way and downsize..

I come from the South but visit a son in Newcastle, it is a great place for the arts, a lovely quayside, lots of interesting places on the coast nearby. Northumberland is a lovely county (in the summer). In the winter you can go to Spain or Australia.

I think you will like yourself more once you give in with a good grace - but having done so, make the best of it, don't forever complain about.

In January, Flamenco had been with partner for eight years, now, in June, been with partner for ten years
Juggernaut have you not noticed how time flies as you get older?