Getting a bit fed up of her showing off

Mrs Bouquet (Bucket) springs to mind!!

You have explained much more in your second post Bytheway she's probably got very proud of the fact that the least brainy one has the most dosh ( albeit through a lucky match) I d just learn to switch off when she starts, or say something simple in way of congratulations and quickly move on to other subjects as for FB I still think it's a great way of communication but if it's starting to piss you off give it a rest for a bit She obviously hasn't learned how to handle her wealth, modestly.
Some people never do When my brother in law visited my area for the first time recently and called in to see me he said how lovely the area was and how they must come back I said well I have a big house and a bedroom always made up his answer was 'thank you but we prefer somewhere more luxurious' that was on top of his wife refusing to have a coffee as I didn't have percolated and she d rather be without a drink than have coffee out a jar .. now that really pipped me off but in actual fact they are nice people so I would not fall out over it but it's snobby and not attractive to me, others might find it ok, but I don't like it
I don't think it's fair to say The British can't see the difference between being excited about something you have and bragging, it s good to be a bit modest about your good fortune...... if you want to tell people you tell them but you don't go on about it

I think it is a very British thing. If you express delight about anything you have or do or a member of your family does, it is seen as bragging, never as simply expressing your natural delight at something good that is happened.

To be fair, you will get sympathy and understanding if anything terrible happen, but of those expressing their genuine feelings, many will also find a shiver of shadenfreude going down their spines.

There is a big difference between delight at something good and bragging but the British cannot see the difference.

The Facebook but is easy. Just Unfollow. Not sure what to say about the actual phone calls other than the more bored you sound the more she'll get the point in the end. And admit to yourself that you are envious. Who the heck wouldn' t be? I would be pea green!

It must be difficult when one person in a family does very well, in a way their new wealth and lifestyle sepatate them from those they are close to. If you are very generous and foot the Bill you are accused of acting lady bountiful, if you don't you are tight. So difficult to strike a happy balance.Everyone is striving to privide a better life for themselves and family, really all we want is our family and friends, they are what matter. Siblings can be very envious of what people have and not see the real person, it is only when something bad happens within a family that you come close and forget all the other stuff. Would they be there for you if you needed them? I bet the answer is yes.

I wonder if Olene is nearer the mark?
Talking about people 'getting above themselves' is not very nice. It makes me wonder more about the people using such phrases.

I think you've cracked it, Bytheway - in your next to the last paragraph - she's trying to get over childhood stuff. She felt inferior all those years and is now saying "Look at me now!" Maybe if you stroke her ego once or twice, tell her how well she's done, that might be enough to shut her up. That might be all she's looking for - recognition that she's not, after all, in spite of all predictions, a failure.

I agree with those that blame FB......it's become the new religion.
In the early days I put photos on and happy comments. In no way were they bragging and I was truly grateful to have visited some lovely places. On one holiday my DH gave me a pretty ring on my birthday. I was stunned as it's not his style at all and I felt so happy. On went the picture on FB, expressing my happiness. Next thing I know I hear I'm being talked about for showing off. This is from a woman who posted her life on FB.
I live overseas, the sun shines, daily life involves a swim and coffee in the garden, drinks on the patio, bbqs etc. This is also seen as showing off but if you live in the UK, which I did for 40 years in total, it's ok to show yourself in the garden having a BBQ, coffee in the garden etc etc........but it is not ok if you live somewhere hot and have a pool in the background.
Whenever I say to our DD how lucky or blessed we are she gets mad at me as she says 'you're not lucky, you and Dad have worked so hard to get what you have today'
I'm going on. Apologies. But it's touched a nerve how people perceive you cos of FB and other media.
I never post there now. I enjoy seeing friends photos of lovely holidays etc etc. If someone is harping on for attention I just unfollow them.
I've seen raised eyes because I grocery shop at Waitrose and M and S foodhall in the UK. That makes me a bragger too I believe.
The old adage not to judge a book it's cover is very true.
Sorry....I've gone on a bit.

I think she might be subconsciously in awe of her circumstances and just has to talk about them! I am very lucky that I have similar privileges because of my husband, but I never talk about what we have and what we haven't. Its so crass. We choose to live in a normal street, in a normal house and spend the money on other things that we enjoy, such as holidays etc to the annoyance of some of my acquaintances unfortunately. We don't actually tell anybody when we go on holiday because the green eyed monster always appears! Nobody bothers to ask me where I have been anymore...because of the monster. Its so silly! My sister, brother and I came from a relatively humble background, we do not discuss money or material objects, its not important in the scheme of things. I can remember many times when I didn't have two halfpennies to rub together and i don't forget where I came from. it could all be gone tommorrow. Ignore it, it doesn't matter. As long as you have your health and are happy in your own life thats all that matters.

Hi, just to answer a few of your question, no i am not envious, I am perfectly happily married, reasonably comfortably in our middle age with a lovely family so not an issue for me.

She does treat other people, usually younger members of the family (her girls and her nephews and nieces, all grown up) and she does do charitable work.

When i discussed the situation with my DH he said that a family BBQ last year one of my sister-in-laws had mentioned how 'above herself' my sister was getting. He didn't mention it to me at the time as he didn't want to make waves and because he (DH) had had similar thoughts.

I've also noticed she does seem to have a habit of 'sparring' with one of our other siblings on our family WATSAPP group. And i sometimes find myself trying to calm the waters there.

I did have another thought, and that is that growing up she was always seen as, how should i put this.....the least intelligent of the 5 of us, i.e. she is older than me but there were many occasions when i did her homework for her.

So, perhaps its a case of 'look what i have achieved' when i was the one least expected to achieve? what do you think?

I must be dimmer than I thought , I really don't care what people have , well yes I do rant about the costs of the windsors .

Yes she did Sarah but sadly not for long. She died only a few months after she got it .

The same "person" came to my mums funeral and looking through a photograph album I had put together she found a photograph of my mum taken at mine and DH's wedding. She looked lovely in a deep purple jacket and lilac flowered skirt . The colours really suited her and she looked so happy. "Oh that suit" she said " your mum really begrudged paying all that money for something she would only wear once"
I told her that my mum had worn it in many other occasions both separate and as a suit . "Hmm" she said " a bit dressy for shopping I would have thought" .
The woman has an evil tongue !

I have a friend who talks on and on about herself and her issues etc. and doesn't let anyone get a word in. Worse than that, when I try to tell her one of my stories, she'll interrupts with "....oh, me too..that's what we did when...etc. etc. etc."....and I'm left hanging mid sentence.

On the plus side she is a really good friend and genuinely cares about others. She's an animal lover and generous to a fault. I also think she suffers from adult Attention Deficit Disorder. My point being that no one is perfect (as long as they're not deliberately selfish or mean spirited).

People shouldn't be judged by what they have but what they are.

That's the point though, isn't it, Caro1954? The OP's sister will be judged by others, not because she's wealthy, but because she's a show-off. It's not an attractive personality trait, and will lose her friends. It's a shame she's not more self-aware, but she's not likely to take it kindly if the OP tells her what she thinks. I'd just try to laugh it off, bytheway.

I once read a study that came to the conclusion that the happiest people are not the wealthiest, but those comfortable enough not to have to worry about their bills, and to be able to afford occasional holidays and treats. Perhaps it's true that (extra) money doesn't buy you happiness.

gilybob No shortage these days of people who take pleasure in raining on someone's parade.
I am sure your mum enjoyed her new sofa regardless.

Glad to see you mention Hyacinth vampirequeen, I too had been thinking about the 'Bucket' syndrome as I read through this page.

What is wrong with knowing your family is doing so well.?
Would you prefer to change places with the mothers of those whose daughters cannot afford to pay the increase in their rent as husband has been made redundant and are having to resort to food banks to feed their children.?
Be happy for her. What harm is it doing or is there a touch of the green eyed monster somewhere in there.?

I agree with Anniebach and don't envy anybody their lifestyle. I have enough and a lot more than some. People shouldn't be judged by what they have but what they are. The OP says she isn't envious just fed up so maybe she could just tell her sister that gently, because there may be some unhappiness that she knows nothing about. Such a pity if their relationship is spoilt by this. And YES I agree Facebook has a lot to answer for!

I remember when my mum got a much longed for new sofa ( she'd had the last one for about 25 years) my uncles ( nasty) 2nd wife remarked " why did you get a new sofa M ? It's not as though you get many visitors to see it !" My mum was so taken aback she laughed but then was very upset later .

Do you think she feels competitive with you? Is she the middle one? Sometimes middle children feel they have to shout to be heard. It does sound to me as though it's some old childhood stuff. Good luck with it.

You're a much nicer person than me Annie

I agree Anniebach but aren't family meant to stick together and help each other ? Well no one in my immediate family has much but what we have we share . I do have a very rich uncle who will no doubt have had deep pockets sewn into his shroud. He and his 2nd wife used to visit my parents just to get some weird kick out of rubbing their noses in their wealth.

But Gilly, it's their life style , I have never wanted my siblings to have the struggles I have

I think she is simply showing off ...look at me ....requiring lots of admiration. Some people I know from years ago seem to relish this on FB...while beforehand would not have indulged in narcissistic behaviour. Best thing to do is ignore it completely..don"t go along with it. It seems everything has gone to her head. What do your other siblings say? Do they comment.? Think you"lle have to sound a bit bored next time she phones you and a bit more bored still the next time after that...so she eventually gets the message.

I wish I could say that I wouldn't envy someone with an easier lifestyle. It must be wonderfully peaceful and calming to know that the bills will always get paid in time and you don't have to work your whole life just to get by. I wouldn't envy anyone's big house, fancy car or luxury holidays etc. But what I wouldn't give for the peace of mind.