living with adult children & grandchildren, can it work?

I would say a big no! Friends of ours have their house for sale at the moment, their daughter and husband and one small child have already moved into a much larger house, financed by their sale and a trust fund from Daddy, when the sell they intend to move into daughters house to look after child while she works full time. They are in their 70's, who knows what the future will bring. Please give it a lot of thought.

Separate accommodation definitely. Rules about 'visiting'.
I had friends who made it work well with 2 grandparents in a large house, and family members who made a new home with widowed grannie in a conversion.

That's a terrible story Lillie.

I think Merlot's situation is ideal in that she owns it all, so no chance of being evicted or losing out to a future divorce, re-marrying, family squabbles, etc.

Good advice from Merlot - look for properties with granny flats or similar so you have your own front door.

Thank you for the posts everyone, I know it's not for everyone. I'm trying to think clearly, weighing up the pro's & cons..
seeing a financial advisor next week too.

We gave it serious thought some years ago. We imagined every scenario and came to the conclusion, best not

It could work if you have your own self contained accommodation but make sure your assets are protected should your daughter and son-in-law split up.

We live at the same property as DD and two DGSs but in separate dwellings so it works very well. I don't think we'd get on if we were all under the same roof. We own all of it so there will be no problems should DD want to move on.

If you do decide to do it and there are other siblings, then make sure every party is in agreement. MiL moved in with my DH's sister and family who robbed her of everything she had. They then expected my DH and me to have her to live with us once she was no longer of any use to them. As a result, the whole family is now estranged due to the stupid decision to live under one roof.
MiL trusted them and did not even put her name on the house deeds, despite contributing the proceeds of the sale of her own house. She was actually evicted, so be very very careful.

One of the `problems` with people living so much longer is that the middle generation might well reach a point when they find the large house too much and want to downsize - then what happens to Grandma?

My daughter, son in law and newborn moved in when baby was born - she is 14 months now. I have a large 4 bedroom and before they came it was my partner and I.
They moved in so they could save a deposit and so far saving hasn't gone well - I love seeing my grand daughter every day but I get NO break, double the housework and they've certainly taken over the house - some days I long for some quiet and to be able to do little things - but I work too.
If you live together have your own space - rules and make sure you are not the one doing all the housework etc!

I have had situations where we had DD and SIL living with us with their child for several months - their house caught fire and was being sorted out! It went fine - but we all knew it would end eventually!

Not for me either but I know it has worked for friends of mine. Please get all the legalities sorted out formally, it can end badly if there is a family rift.
Talk things through honestly with your family so you are all aware of your expectations and good luck.

We live in a large farmhouse with grandparents living on one half and us and the children in the other. I realise I am going to sound like a horrible person when I say this, but for the past 10 years since m-in-law has been on her own we have come to really regret this! She is still able bodied but constantly wants jobs doing and always wants to know what we are doing, who is visiting us etc etc. She virtually lies in wait for DH when he comes home from work! I am afraid that DH and I now really resent her, and as a result of our experience we have told our own children to never live near us as we don`t want them to end up resenting us! We have also found ourselves in a very difficult situation now as we would like to move - but she says she won`t!

No experience of this other than staying with family several times on long haul holidays. Suffice to say that next time I'm considering that we stay in a nearby b & b.
The children will grow up with the inevitable hormones and teenage attitudes.
However, if the house is big enough, separate quarters, good rules, who knows.
A lot to be considered regarding day to day living and interaction.

There will be positives and negatives.
It wouldn't be for me..... but could be wonderful for someone else.