what do you row/argue about the most?

Most of our arguments are caused by misunderstandings, either deliberate or genuine. I can say the most innocent thing and DH duly spins, misinterperates and totally gets the wrong end of the stick. His spin abilities would put Alistair Campbell to shame. In a similar way he could say something completely innocent but it can come out sounding aggressive, mostly due to his Glaswegian accent. You would have thought we would have sorted this after 41 years but it still happens.

We do not often argue, but DH will often not answer when I ask a question. As he is a little deaf , I do not know if he has not heard or has chosen not to reply. I have now insisted that if he has heard he acknowledges me. So things are a little better. Of course I still mumble.

That's funny BBbeven, I mumble too when speaking to DH. Everybody else can hear me just fine.....

Alima - your OH sounds a bit like mine.

We don't argue much, but can both be very sarcastic and play the 'long game' to make a point. DH is a quiet man and trying to find out what little things please him is like trying to get blood from a stone. However, he recently told me he loves mashed potato... after 8 years , 3 of them married. A few days later l told him "I really hope we make our silver wedding. Then l might know 3 things about you!"

Really relate to that Imperfect!

The two things that wind me up are......I swear he's not listening when I ask him for the umpteenth time to do something and he comes back with, 'What did you want me to do again?'

And....He'll wait until I'm well and truly stuck into a job in the garden then he'll begin something that really needs me to be there to either make sure he doesn't kill himself or prune the guts out of a much loved shrub.

Other than that it's peace and love

I get cross, I try to argue, he won't, I calm down and we just carry on as normal

I ask a question. I ask because I don't know the answer and I want to know the answer.

OH, who knows the answer, doesn't give me the answer. Instead he says "you know that"

I say "I wouldn't have asked the question if I knew the answer"

Start of another silly row like we've been having for most of our lives.

Somehow we're still together

annsixty that made me laugh, the poking of the knife through the chair, I can imagine you gritting your teeth.

I recognise and live with so many of these irritating DHs traits! We have always had a very sparky relationship and have managed 52 years so far so maybe it is beter than being bored.

My parents were always bickering and Dad shouted Mum (and everybody else down) but despite that they were married for 70 years and he did mellow in his later years. He used to say "it's nobbut froth" - being a Yorkshireman. On the other hand, Mum told all and sundry "Married 70 years and never a cross word" Hmmm!

Oh this thread has really cheered me up and shown we are pretty normal.

Everyone forgers things from time to time. If he's not happy about it then tell him to go and do those things himself.

When I was a child I dreaded Friday evening's when the finances were sorted out in detail, leading to arguments about whether they should both contribute to the cost of a birthday card for his sister!
This usually resulted in a period of not speaking, where I was go-between..."ask your father if he wants a cup of tea".
The result was that I have always avoided conflict, but in her last years my mother would do her best to provoke me, and say how much she missed having a good argument.

We bicker- usually about mess he makes in house- he leaves things all over the place & never throws away envelopes when he opens post etc. He also never DOES anything with post even f it needs attention until I nag. I wish he'd just let me deal with it all. I'm not a particular;y tidy person but I 'd throw envelopes away. He is very lazy TBH.
He gets cross if I hoover when he is in- we have cats so I hoover every day- sometimes twice.Luckily he still works full time & will do for about another 20 years I think so it s only at weekends or if he works at home. I do a lot of swearing under my breath at him though.
Rarely shout though- not me anyway. It's just bickering.

We argue over cooking and what goes into the dish.
DH likes too much salt in everything, but I prefer the addition of various herbs etc.
We get heated then laugh and say something like....each to his own!

I read a study which concluded that rowing couples stay together because they air and resolve differences while quiet, slow burning resenters bury grievances and then erupt volcanically so that they are are past reconciling.

This is just as well as, from the outset, my OH and I have bickered for England since we were first together.

I have noticed that he becomes irate about things and I am riled by people. We often even row about what the other is annoyed about. I say it is a waste of time to be upset by potholes, traffic jams, the BBC, the weather forecast and so on and he cannot compute the fact that his getting rubbish out of the bin that I have thrown away in order to 'recycle it' is beyond infuriating.

We have a rule though, never to 'let the sun set on a quarrel' and always make up amicably.

I am not sure whether this dooms our relationship. We have been together for 40 years and will give it another few decades to test it.

Lilyflower :
"his getting rubbish out of the bin that I have thrown away in order to 'recycle it' is beyond infuriating."
Exactly - my OH does things like that especially when I've washed something and he thinks it's not clean enough.
And Gagagran I recognise the shouting down too - he has a very loud voice and my feeble alto can't compete.
We'll have been together for 40 years next year.

And allule your point about not speaking - I think that's the hardest thing to tolerate. When we were first together he sometimes went into a huff like that - drove me mad.

Among other things, this isnt an argument, more of a denial, every evening DH falls asleep on the sofa in front of the TV and usually a programme he MUST see, when I waken him in order to actually see the programme he totally denies his sleeping, one evening I will take a photo as proof! No arguing there!

Cooking!! He used to hover and make uncalled for 'suggestions' and criticisms even telling me there wasn't enough water in the kettle for tea! How did he think I managed for all those years when he was out at work?? I finally snapped and told him if he was so good at it then he could do it. He now does all the cooking with the odd grumble that I'm not helping.......I just raise an eyebrow. He's actually a very good cook-it's just the mess he leaves. Now that's in a whole different category of argument!

For argument aficionados......

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lvcnx6-0GhA&sns=em

Way back in the first year or two of marriage we had a huge row which resulted in me throwing a chair at him (staying out late and coming home drunk) He grew up after that and realised he wasn't single anymore we haven't had a full blown slanging match since.
We occasionally bicker over daft things though I can't remember the last time it happened as H is so easy going.

We don't argue much but I do get annoyed sometimes. Every time I am away for a few days he goes and buys stuff we don't need because he never looks first. And always buys too much. Have a cupboard full of cleaning stuff because what he wAnted wasn't right at the front of the cupboard

My DH is a cliche..... brilliant but absentminded! He never puts anything back, leaves lights on, cabinet drawers open...messy work area full of tools left out from previous projects....it drives me crazy, but after so many repeated reminders, he tells me to stop nagging and that's where it all goes South! We don't exactly argue....I guess if someone were to film us, it would look like a comeback competition, where the one with the cleverest retort "wins"! To his credit, he is making an effort (after 50 years) and he's kind and I love him anyway, so there is that.