Support for Grans cut-out of AC&GC lives

Thank you Kitty for sharing with us. I really hope for you, that you can be reunited with your D. Do you know if you have GC? I don't have any contact details for my D, so can't do as you have Let us know if you do get contact. Good luck & God Bless

Maddy Congratulations on the birth of your baby grandson

I can understand why your H didn't want to see the pic of baby. I know you wont want to hear this, but it is better never to have seen him, than to have a loving relationship with him and then be ripped apart, as in my case. To hear them say nannie I love you, for them to phone every morning with their little chatter, to receive their hugs & kisses, and then all of that wonder taken in an instance is a nightmare to put it mildly. I feel that if I had never meet my beloved & precious GD & GS, I wouldn't feel as bad as I do now. I know you must have had this with your twin GC, so you must feel the loss as I do.

I would have thought your estD would need her mum & dad for help with the twins and new baby, so maybe now he is born there might be a brake-through. Txt and offer her all your help, if she needs it. Good luck xx

I know how you all feel, it's a devastating experience to have go through. I felt the need to say to you all to never ever give up! I was estranged from my daughter for 10 years, her choice not mine, every now and again I would send her an email asking how she was, sometimes I got a reply sometimes I got a load of abuse.
Out of the blue a month or so ago I actually got an email and she asked how I was!! We have been corresponding via email quite regularly since. I still have no idea where she lives or works but the contact is there, wether it will carry on or stop I have no idea but I'm hanging on in the hope we will actually meet up in the near future. I will say that I'm watching my back and am on my guard as I do feel she wants something more than just a relationship.
My heart goes out to you all, hang in there, things do change.

Sparkly and Starlady, just thank you both for your kindness. You do do something for me, you listen and it helps. I'm sorry you're all going through it too.

Lucky, I know how you feel with depression, it has plagued me on and off through my life, it is a horrible feeling. I take my antidepressants and usually I'm okay with that, but stressful times bring it on big time.

Rhinestone, what a good idea, I'm going to write a letter and make a box for each child. I don't know yet if they will accept gifts or refuse them because although times have been difficult with our daughter for many years, we have only just become estranged, it's happened gradually over the last year.

Yogagirl, thank you for such kind words. This is not our daughter's first child, she has three and a half year old twins, and when they arrived we were all absolutely thrilled. We love them to bits, have had a huge amount to do with them, and we are broken hearted that we are not allowed to see them now. I'm so sorry you are not able to see your daughter, and your granddaughter, I wish I could day something useful to you, I can only say I understand your pain.

Hello again ladies, thank you, thank you, I could feel the love and support from you all, and that means a huge amount to me, coming from all of you, and I don't even know you (only on here if course) and I only joined the thread a couple of months ago. What a privilege for me to know that there are such caring people in the world despite all the horrors and difficulties.
Well, our new baby grandson was born this morning, we finally received a round robin text from our daughter at five thirty this afternoon. Of course we are not invited to see him, well I didn't expect that! But our son asked for pictures so she sent two to him, and he sent them on to me. My DH has refused to look at the pictures, he says he doesn't want to see a child he won't be allowed to know. He went from his usual upbeat personality to morose, depressed, and just terribly sad. He had a headache and so measured his BP, it was sky high (he always knows it's high because he gets a headache.) The boys were ringing and very concerned about us both, I was so distressed this morning, whilst DH fell apart when the news finally arrived. I picked up when I heard the news though and feel better. Tomorrow our sons and daughter in law, and little grandson, are coming to lunch.

Sorry you are going through this maddyone sorry we can't do more for you or others in this pain.

Lucklegs managing just, you know how it goes.

TGIF eh ladies, have the best weekend you can.

Maddyone, perhaps by now you will have heard from your daughter and hopefully the safe birth of your grandchild. I can only think she was feeling stressed because of the birth and took it out on you. It's no comfort, I know just how you feel, it is the worst pain, being excluded by your own daughter. It is early days for you and hopefully your relationship can be rescued. My own d has moved on and now has the life she wanted, I can say with certainty she won't contact me again, when I think if it I get so down and can go into a depression.
Celeb, to lose 1 1/2 stone, well done, is that because of discipline or that you didn't fancy eating being so poorly.?
Smileless, hope you are enjoying yourselves, what have you been up to?
Hope everyone else ok.

MaddyYou are so in my thoughts today. There are no words I can think of that will comfort you but I am .. right now... sending you hugs across the ocean. Would it help you to write a letter to your new grandchild telling them how you love them and a little about yourself? Hold on to it and every birthday write another letter. They can get them when they are no longer living at home. That’s what we are doing and it has helped us knowing they will read them in the future. ? ?

Maddyone You did the right thing sending the txt to your D, maybe when she holds her little baby in her arms, she will think of you, her mum. and have some compassion. Is it her first, sorry can't remember, no doubt you have said before. Sounds like she is not letting her brothers in either! I really do not understand, till the day I die, how our AC can do this to loving parents. My estD, myself and her sister [my other D] were so very close & loving, along with our little Laila, my GD, from that to 'cut out' in an instance for no reason, unfathomable!!

I'll be thinking of you today Maddy, I know you will be ringing your hands in anguish, waiting to hear the news. She probably wont phone today, as she will be so busy, but maybe tomorrow, when she is laying quietly with her new baby, maybe then she will phone you, her mum.

Good luck and God Bless xx

Oh, maddy, how very painful! Lots of hugs and xxx though I doubt that would help much.

It's already 6th October, today my new baby grandchild will be born, and I'm not going to be able to see him or her.

Yogagirl, thank for your supportive comments. I'm so sorry so many people have to go through this, what is the matter with our children? It must be as Rhinestone said in the article she posted, we loved them too much, gave too much freedom, I thought I'd instilled love, respect, loyalty to family, but with her I failed.
Yogagirl, thank you for mentioning the St John's Wort, I was aware of it, but I'm on antidepressants and don't think I can take both together.
You say it's been five years, Celeb's been eight, others have been years. I can't think of years yet, I'm in awe of how you are all are, I wish none of us were here.

Hello again ladies, I think I've just lived through one of the most upsetting days of my life. This morning my mum phoned me to tell me that my daughter had answered her text, mum knew I wouldn't know so she went on to tell me that our daughter is having her planned caesarian section tomorrow rather than next week. I cannot explain how I was, I fell apart, that's all I can say. The absolute truth that she has so completely shut us out, her cruel email yesterday. My husband was also hit by this news, this absolute cruelty. I have been unable to concentrate properly on anything else, I sought comfort from two of my long standing friends. My son rang up as he wasn't working today and he was also shocked by her callous behaviour, he hadn't been told though either, tonight he spoke to his brother who came straight round with his wife, they hadn't been told either. Our sons were concerned because we, and especially I, was and am, so upset. Anyway they all agreed that I should send a short email to express hope that all goes well and to (yet again) offer any help required. Her father did the same. Both emails have been ignored. My head hurts, I keep crying, I'm a mess.

Sparklygran soo pleased read that moving on a d moving up definitely! Taken us 8 heartbreaking years to realise that all that love, all those presents carefully thought out all that love all that effort and money completely wasted.

Never again!

Our love and effort is going to those that want us and love us.

Physio again tomorrow, not sure about new nerve tablets foots seems bit number,

Gorgeous flowers, celebgran I have roses in pots, my favourite being 'Crocus', a David Austin rose. I hope your recovery is going well.

I agree, Yogagirl..my time for emailing begging, sending love and presents, all unanswered, are finished and over.

Moving on, moving upwards..

That's St. John's Wort' Maddy always seems to automatically change the word on here

Thank you Rhinestone & Starlady re pic
Your article R I think is correct.

Luckylegs thanks, good to be back, even after such a good holiday.

Maddyone right thing to do, waiting before replying, or even not to reply at all. When I look back [all the time] I wish I had not sent a single email, the first were saying how much I love & miss my D&GC, but she knew that, so didn't need to say it in an email! It's taken me 5 long years to move on and to accept that my once beloved D is happy to cut out her mum, her sister and the rest of her birth family

Celebgran very pretty sandals & flowers, glad you're getting better. 1 1/2 stones lost whaw! no more diets for you then

Eglantine Lol yes, think it is My head still swims! especially at night when I turn to right. Think I am learning how to deal with it, as opposed to it going.

Maddyone Thank you re photo I feel down all the time too, really really missing my D&GC. As you say tablets won't alter the situation and bring your D back to you, I do take 'St.John's wort' which def takes the edge off the depression, they are natural herbs, have no side effects and none addictive, so give them a try. God Bless

Just seen some pics this morning of my D&GC, looks like they were in LEGOLAND, looking really happy, just made me think rotten cow [funny that's where my baby GD spent her 2nd birthday recently]

Lastly ladies, my poor dear husband was so upset today, he rarely gets too upset, he's very pragmatic and stoical, but he received an email from our daughter. I won't go into details but it wasn't very pleasant. I hate seeing him so upset, but anyway, he's already a lot better, I had managed to dissuade him from replying straight away, he would have answered in hurt and anger, not good! We'll think on it and see.

Rhinestone, I did read your article, and I think it's sadly very true, generally speaking our generation, and previous ones, have a much stronger sense of duty than some of the younger generation. I could never abandon my own mother, nor my father when he was alive, but saying that my own sister did just that for seven long years, and she is of our generation!
My daughter does know about mum's birthday meal, but I have decided that I will email all three children with the details and request RSVP. That is so it can never be said she wasn't properly invited or given details, although as it is a small family gathering, up to now all details have been verbal, but all have been asked and given the date and venue. My poor, lovely mum, she shouldn't have to go through this at her age. She is in touch with my daughter, but not very regularly as they live a long way apart. As a matter of fact mum told me that she texted my daughter today, but hasn't yet had a reply.

Hello again ladies, thank you for all your kindness and support, it helps coming from people who really understand this painful situation.
Celeb, I'm pleased to hear you are finally picking up, you've really been through the mill after your operation. The flowers are very colourful and will be very cheerful in the dull autumn months. Also the roses for your ruby wedding, they will always remind you of that happy time.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201710/medium-462682-img-1957.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201710/medium-109975-img-1958.jpg

Here goes the last one our ruby wedding rose and posh planter we chose last week!