Reunion with adopted daughter

I'm glad your meeting went well and you are looking forward to your next get together. I hope you are feeling okay today in the aftermath of such an emotional meeting.

nanaloca
It’s so good to hear that the meeting with your daughter went well. Best wishes for you both as you get to know each other.

I'm so happy for you. You now know that you 'did the right thing' all those years ago and you are now having your much deserved reward.

What a great start!

What a lovely heartwarming post nanaloca .
Go slowly and all best wishes that she will become part of your life.
How happy you must be that she had a loving family and childhood.

❤️

Good morning. I met my daughter yesterday and the feeling of seeing and holding her was overwhelming. We met in an Inn halfway between our homes, and the fact that is was in public helped me not to break down which I did not want to do. Sarah is very empathetic so it was easy to answer her questions around her adoption, and tell her the history of her birth family, we are very different from the adopted family but she seemed to take it in her stride. We spoke for 4 hours non stop and discovered a mutual love of literature and history which was bonding. I am aware that to make the reunion a permanent one I need to go slowly and develop a friendship, but yesterday was a great start and we are meeting again in December. I am encouraged that the relationship will mature but only time will tell. I feel very blessed that I have been given the chance to meet this lovely, warm woman who is a total credit to her adopted parents. Once more thank you for your advice it really helped me.

I hope all goes well with your meeting and that you can forge a good relationship together. I was in your position over 20 years ago and understand exactly how you feel.
Please feel free to message me if you wish.

Thanks for your post nanaloca, it is always good to read this kind of news. I'm sure your daughter will have thought long and hard before making contact with you and will be as nervous as you are. It sounds as though you fear she will feel you abandoned her. I expect she will be aware how different things were 50 years ago and understands that allowing her to be adopted was indeed the hardest thing you have ever done.
I do hope things go as smoothly as can be for both of you x

Keep your expectations in check nanaloca these things are rarely like Long Lost Family.
It's good your daughter has looked for you but you are strangers to each other. Take it slowly is my advice. I speak from experience,

thank you for all your good advice, I am going to try very hard not to be too emotional, my daughter contacted me through the Government Register, I had put my details on it 5 years ago, and then two months ago up popped a message from them asking if they could give my details to her. I do not want to turn the reunion into a 'pity party' from me as I thought long and hard about my situation and her future before going ahead with the adoption, it was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I am overjoyed that she tells me she had a fabulous childhood, but part of me thinks does she feel I abandoned her. I am meeting her on Thursday and will let you know how things go. Once more thank you.

I am adopted and traced my birth Mother a few years ago.
We met 7 years ago for the first time, it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
Just relax and chat, I did not ask too many questions at first but now know everything about my adoption.
My birth Mother and I have a great relationship I will be thinking about you.

All good wishes from me too - how exciting!

What an emotional meeting this will probably be. I have no advise other than what has been given above - definitely photos past and present and plenty of tissues. Take things slowly too - I hope it all goes well for you both

Try not to be too nervous, although understandable. I'm sure that she won't be coming to "judge" your education and success in life against hers.
Did your daughter find you and initiate the meeting or the other way around?
You're her flesh and blood and there's something indefinable about that. I'm sure there will be a "bond".
Let us know how it goes. I'm excited for you!!!!

nanaloca I hope all goes well do let us know.
As for your daughter having a much better education than you did that is not unusual for the time you had your daughter and the way the education system worked then.

You be confident and be yourself.

nanaloca I do hope it goes well its a very exciting but worrying moment. This happened to me a few years ago when I re-met my daughter who had been adopted at birth. She also had three children. We seem to have all blended in quite well but it does take time. That would be my advice - make haste slowly with more meetings and get together's after the first one. My experience was that we talked and talked . Don't get too 'dolled up' either wear something you are comfortable in and just be you. My best wishes xxxx

nanaloca there's good advice above. But I am sure there will be a moment, an instant, of nothing but pure joy.

All the very best.

It is a situation fraught with emotion on either side, and very hard to act naturally. Certainly take with you anything like photos that might give a focus to your conversation and fill any awkward moments. And do not expect it all to be huggy kissy as on Long Lost Family. If you do not expect too much then you are less likely to be disappointed.

You must be delighted that her life has been so successful; it is good that your first tentative steps towards each other have been by email, giving you a chance to begin to get to know each other before the face to face meeting.

I hope that it all goes well for you both.

It was my job for many years to facilitate first meetings between adopted people and their birth families. Take some old photo's if you have them, they will be interesting to your daughter and provide a distraction if you feel you need one. There is no 'correct' emotion, whatever you feel is okay, but it can be helpful to perhaps talk about what you both hope to get out of the reunion. Be prepared to answer questions and try to manage your expectations; few situations in life are totally positive or negative and there is often a honeymoon period before the relationship finds a level with which you are both comfortable.
Do come back and tell us how you got on.

Just be yourself and hopefully she will be the same.
I hope it all goes just how you wish it to.