Marriage over on wedding anniversary

I am so sorry because even with his problems you must have loved him and you may feel abandoned.Endure it for peace will come sooner or later.A burden will be lifted from yur shoulders.Keep eating and doing nice things.My best wished

I hope your birthday is a good one and even amidst the sadness that there is some relief I hope you have someone to share your day with, family or friends and do something for you, have a massage or a pamper even if it’s on your own something to give you back some love of yourself
Keep your dignity and done imagine the past was not as bad as you remember it was probably worse
Happy birthday ?

How sad but you have done the right thing. You deserve better than to be with someone who lies to you and is abusive for your own sanity you needed to end it. Good luck in the future it can only get better x

I really feel for you - I was married to a violent drunk for 11 years. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter what we do, in the end it is up to them how they do or don't deal with the problem. The only thing we can control is if we let them decide what kind of life we have. It will be hard, you need to mourn the loss of your marriage and all your hopes for your relationship. You need to focus on yourself now and your birthday will be tinged with sadness but can also be the beginning of your new life. It will take time and you can have a happy ending - I met a wonderful man 2 years after my divorce and we are still happy together 19 years later - never give up on you happy life.

Wishing you many happy returns on your birthday today Denil. Birthdays and anniversaries are always difficult markers when there are sad situations to deal with.

I wish you all the very best with what comes next and, if I may, am sending you some virtual energy for the next few steps. I encourage you to take control of your life back and make the necessary adjustments so that you can go forward with positivity and live the happy and rewarding life you deserve. xx

Wishing you all the very best for your birthday and for a much deserved life of peace of mind in the year ahead.

Sorry you've had to come to this decision especially on your anniversary but as everyone has said you have to think of your own sanity and health. We had a friend who was alcoholic and saw the devastation he wrought on his family and his business. I hope you are doing something to treat yourself for your birthday and go forward and live your life in peace and happiness

I was married to an alcoholic it's no fun we parted company even thought we stayed friends as we'd known each other since we were young.My life was so much better after the split I brought up the kids on my own worked and felt life was worth living again . I was upset at first but made new friends and believed in myself good luck for the future you can do it

In this world you can’t live your life like that. I’m going through a break up as well it’s not nice. See loads of friends, talk talk talk if they’re you’re true friends they’ll be there for you. Go and have a great birthday draw the line.

So sorry, Denil. Like the others I think you have done the right thing. My ex-SiL is a "it's all everybody else's fault" type too. You can get through this and be happy again. Good luck.

Look on your birthday as a new beginning. Think you are so brave to put an end to it. Hugs.

I have not had to live with alcoholism, but know it can be absolutely devastating. In case it is useful to anyone: we have all heard of AA (Alcaholics Anonymous) but it is worth knowing that there are other organisations which help the children and partners of alcoholics - Alateen and AlAnon, which is for families and, I think, for individuals. There are other sources of support for people who can't leave for one reason or another, and social services and/or family doctor would help.

You had the strength to do this, you will have the strength to carry on, I wish you luck for the future, and will think of you tomorrow on your Birthday.

You have made a tough call here but the right decision. You only live once and now go forward and hopefully find joy.

You have made the right decision. Good luck for the future x

It’s definitely not your fault. Keep telling yourself that. He needs help, but he needs to admit it first. He clearly knows it’s making you unhappy and when your relationship is suffering because of the drinking it’s time to seek help/make for the exit. I think you've made the right decision to choose a happier life without crisis after crisis.

Time for some serious pampering for your birthday I think! Hugs for being brave. xx

Agree with what everyone else has said and sending you some gentle hugs, You need your own recovery time now and it's going to be quite a journey, grieving for what you had when things were ( temporarily) good and also for the wasted years, You will need your own support in order to stay strong, so have a think about that and gather those around you, Don't AA run groups for those associated with addicts ? Just running some ideas past you in a practical way to make sure you're not alone. Hope what I;ve written is ok, Im a retired counsellor so I tend to revert to my former life sometimes lol

So sad to hear this, I'm not married to an alcoholic but I have seen the chaos that this causes to people's lives.

Very obviously it is not your fault, but you must be so miserable. No need to feel any guilt and you've certainly done the right thing, he clearly still does not accept that it is his problem, not yours.
Hope that you managed to have a good birthday.

Sorry for you but you have done the right thing - this man would drive you into the ground in the long term.

This is NOT, NOT, NOTTTTTT your fault! I was brought up with an alcoholic father and he absolutely ruined my mum's life (she died aged 56).
I was going to write what Blinko wrote - today is the first day of the rest of our life .... And you WILL come through it. Let your birthday tomorrow be a new beginning. ?

I am so sorry to hear of your pain, but I do think you have done the right thing. Life is too short to be trapped in an unhappy relationship. (I’ve had one and know how it feels to blame yourself etc..) so don’t beat yourself up. I think you have realised that to continue with your husband would cause you a catalogue of hurts. I have always told myself that a bad relationship is like a bad tooth: you can continue to suffer daily on and on, or have the tooth out. It hurts more when it happens but when the troublesome tooth is gone you begin to heal.
This will probably be one of the worst birthdays you’ve had, but love yourself and look forward to a brighter future. (Now, if you want to eat ice-cream straight from the tub it can be your little secret!)
Hugs and best wishes to you x

Alcoholics have to change themselves.

...they may need to hit rock bottom before they do this.

Sorry to hear your problem. Stay strong, you will get over it, and you will find happiness again. You really will. Thinking of you.

Good decision, Denil963. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Live it to the full. Happy birthday!

How horrible for you and him. Alcoholism is such a vicious thing for everybody caught up in it. When your husband eventually chooses to sober up he will no doubt be ashamed but the hurt will still be with you. Unfortunately, when you are an addict, you are an addict for life so your loved ones have to decide for themselves if they are willing to take the rough with the smooth and nobody who chooses not to should beat themselves up about it. I wish you the best of luck in the months ahead. No matter what you do it will be a hard path ahead but hopefully, having made this first step, you will be heading for a more peaceful, less stressful life