Marriage over on wedding anniversary

You have done the best thing Denil963. Alcoholics rarely change and drag their partner down in the process of their haphazard 'life. ' That is not the way for you to lead a happy life. Yes, you must feel terribly sad but having made the decision, all strength to you to re-build a better and happier future for yourself. Apologies if this sounds harsh but you would waste the rest of your life if you stayed, watching the person you loved being destroyed.

What a shame, deni1963. I'm sure you know by now that alcohol will always mean a roller coaster relationship, and that takes a heavy toll.
How sad, all on top of your birthday too. Is there any chance your husband could try to give up drinking again, so you could work it out?

So very sorry. In time you will come to realise you have done the best thing. Life is too short.

The unfortunate thing is that unless someone wants to be helped they can't be. You need to think of yourself and your own health and wellbeing.

Living with an alcoholic is Hell. You can't do right for doing wrong in their eyes. In the end, for your own sanity, you have to get as far away from them as possible and certainly out of communication with them. They are champion manipulators.

I think you have made the right decision in ending it . You need to be strong and ignore any emotional blackmail you may get from him or friends and family though. As for your birthday ..there's always next year. Be happy in yourself and enjoy the peace of mind you should find without all the trouble alcoholism can bring.

Denil How sad for you and how lonely you must be feeling, but it was the only solution.

There is a large warm community here to listen and help. You are not the first of us to be in this position.

That's such a shame for you, Deni1963.
If you have made a final decision, can you try to look on it as a happy escape from a horrible situation?

Denil how sad for you. You have been through a great deal and being lied to is just not sustainable, let lone acceptable. As others have said, you cannot help someone who is an alcoholic unless they want to help themselves, but you do not have to keep opening yourself up to the hurt and the abuse. It is a massive thing and takes much courage to take that step towards self preservation and I hope you can be kind to yourself, rather than burdening yourself with guilt. This ending is also a beginning for you and I hope it leads to greater peace and well-being for you in the future.

Denil how sad for you. A brave and necessary decision though. I won’t say happy birthday for tomorrow because it won’t be but i do wish you very many happier, future returns of the day. Please keep,posting.

Denial I m so sorry for you too, it won’t feel like it now but this will be the best thing you ve done, you’ve tried for a good long time and he has proved you are not enough for him to give it up for Your life will be so much calmer and eventually happier. My marriage didn’t end through drink but I remember the sheer peace of days not quarrelling, not being abused, not feeling scared I still loved him immensely but it was the best thing for me and the children in fact the only thing and eventually your brain and hear will catch on to that
Come and talk to us and accept some virtual hugs Stay strong

Heart not hear blooming fingers

I'll say Happy Birthday ! You're now reborn, you've escaped from a bad cage - fly high birthday girl .
Stay strong and safe x .

It's always sad when a relationship ends but you will feel better without the stress of dealing with the fallout from alcoholism.

Good for you. And do something really nice on your birthday. Lots of hugs.

for your birthday tomorrow Denil. Perhaps it's significant that on the day you become another year older, a new life for you begins.

I hope it will be one of peace and happiness. Good luck.

Stay strong and I hope you have a lovely birthday tomorrow Denil

ps and it was not your fault!

Happy birthday for tomorrowDenni
Please go somewhere nice, buy yourself a birthday treat and celebrate that you are your own person and can now enjoy a peaceful life.
Onwards and upwards

Totally agree with Cherrytree This is the start of a new phase in your life, don't feel guilty enjoy it. Good luck

Thank you for the support. I'm trying to be strong. So hard. He says it's all my fault - like it always is. For 11 years it's been my fault. I'm so worn out with it.

Denil I'm so sorry that you're going through such a sad and upsetting time at the moment.

Wishing you many happy returns for tomorrow and and all the very best for the future.

Well it's not your fault Denil, it's his and that's why he has this problem, because he wont accept responsibility and until he does nothing and know one can help him.

You've made the right decision even though it's hard