A deeper bereavement

OldMeg when you are first diagnosed with dementia, it is already too late! I went in with my M&D for her first diagnoses at the hospital, when the doctor said those words, I thought my mum would wail, but she didn't react! When we came out my dad was angry that my mum had just been written off, with no medication or physio or anything.

My daughter always says to me if you get it mum, I'll top myself when I get to that age I know my mum, without doubt, would have wanted to go after the first diagnoses, but as I said, it was already too late! She was 80 when first diagnosed, so I wish I could have told her, when she was 50 and worrying terribly about getting it, that she had 30 more healthy, carefree years to go. But having said all that, my mum was happy in the care home, enjoyed the social occasions that they had often. I don't think anyone would want to live with dementia, but it creeps up without one knowing

wot no the spirit doesn't leave the body till you take your last breath.

There are two members of my extended family who suffer with extremely severe mental illness. They are now in their mid forties and are unrecognizable from the delightful young men they once were. There will be a glimpse every now and again of their true identities and then it's gone, lost in a morass of paranoia and delusion. I was particularly close to one of them and seeing him lose himself has been especially hard as he was so gentle and kind - a simple soul.

Maw just ??and hugs x

This is so true and not usually mentioned (not just for Alzheimers, other terminal illness as well). When my DH died, it was mostly a relief as the last few months when he was ill and I was carer were so stressful and exhausting.
I feel that, although it is a terrible shock when someone has a heart attack and dies suddenly, that is much better than a lingering illness where the person is no longer the same.

I remember my RS teacher at school announcing at the start of one lesson, she wasn't worried about getting old as she wouldn't know what was happening. Along those lines, we can only hope that dementia/Alzheimer'd/PD are less distressing for those who have them than for those 'left behind'