Did you have doubts before you got married, and how did it turn out?

No doubts. Married my true love and still love him dearly.

It took a long time to find him. I had a doubt after we got engaged and he turned up very drunk to see me. I had no doubts on the wedding day, however. I believe he was the right man at the right time. We had 2 children. We had great times and some not so great. He died after nearly 27 years of marriage and that was nearly 11 years ago. I still really miss him and never wanted or expected ever to meet a man again that I might be interested in. However, now I have!

Good luck teddy for the future .
We got engaged after a few weeks of meeting married after a year . We have had lots of ups and downs we are lucky to have been blessed with two now grown up C 40+years now wouldn't change him ?

Interesting thread.

I had already realised that my first fiancé was not the man for me, but I stayed with him longer than I would have simply because my half cut Dad told me I shouldn't marry him. It was a nasty break up when I did break it off, but I never regretted it for a moment.

When I met my husband I never had a doubt, not one. He wasn't at all how I imagined my husband would be like, but I realised early on he was special. We've been married 31 years and it hasn't all been smooth sailing, but we're still together. If I'm honest, I'm not really sure why and I don't want to think about it too much either. All our friends from our younger days have divorced and some have remarried.

Now the serious stuff. Funnily enough, I have had doubts since joining GN. I have read about so many women are doing what Teddy is doing and I have asked myself if I want to stay with my DH forever.
Do I? Yes, I do. I certainly don't want to be starting from scratch again at my age and with my health problems.
Do I? No, I don't. I'm not happy. But why not? I over think everything.
Do I? I don't know. The bottom line is I don't like me very much. And so it goes on.

Best of luck for the future Teddy

I had doubts, and so did my family. My cousins husband pointed up to the large glass window in the roof of the church as i walked down the aisle, when I asked him about it afterwards he said he was trying to tell me to see the light before it was too late. Well, I put up with 7 years of other women, heavy drinking, keeping most of his cash for drinking and me being a battered wife before I ended up in hospital with a badly broken nose and cheekbone, needing surgery, before I did see the light.

annsixty thank you so much for your kind message. My only regret is that I spent so many years with a man who just doesn't have a clue on how to treat an excellent wife. I can't turn the clock back ..... If only!!
Xx

He pursued me up hill and down dale even though I kept refusing his proposals. He said he’d kill anyone else who married me and he would do anything to make me happy as he couldn’t live without me and WOULD marry me. Reader I married him. He had a wandering eye and left once thou we stayed together. After 38 years and when I came home from hospital after major surgery, he told me he might leave but it was very difficult for him to make up his mind! Enough! But I have 3 wonderful children and can never speak highly enough of his family, for the love they have given me. Alas, no such thing as a perfect life!

DH and I met and married in 10 months. I was 19, he was 21 and still at University. 15 months later we had our first daughter while he was still a student. I felt I could do nothing other than marry him. Living together would have been the end of the world for my parents.

Now 47 years later we are still very happy. We had one difficult patch when we had been married about seven years but managed to get through it.

I consider myself to have been very lucky.

Good luck to you Teddy a lot of women your age would do it now or before now if they had the confidence.
We married for keeps , most of us and a lot of couples had unsatisfactory marriages and lives.
Income and security were a factor that doesn't come into account among today's generation?
I hope you make the right decision and are happy.

Strange that this topic was aired today ..... My sis and I were discussing why I've remained married to my H for so long ...... Or perhaps why I've now decided at the wonderful age of 70 to go it alone. Neither of us could work out what was wrong with my self esteem that I would not only marry but remain unhappy for so long. A lifetime in fact. But 2018 beckons and at long last I'm comfortable (yet nervous) about admitting defeat ....

Yes, I wondered on the day. I was 32, DH was 28, and my DS was 15. But 34 years on and we're still very happy. (DS has his own family; he and DiL asked that DH be called "grandpa" by our two DGC. What a lovely gesture.) I'd marry DH again in a heartbeat!

H no1. Yes I had doubts, I was 22, he was 25, had known him for about 4 years but we were taking the Tenancy of a Country Pub, everything I had dreamed of, he kept his job but was obsessive about what I had done, who I had spoken to etc whilst he was at work, he would ring me up to 7 times a day, this was pre-mobile times.

H no2. I meet whilst running the Pub, he left his wife & 4 children & I left, had DD & lived together for almost 8 years before we married, no doubts but we ran into money troubles & he left me & 5 year old DD for an older woman He was 12 yeas older than me.

DH no3. no doubts at all, lived together for 2 years before we got married, I was 34, he was 48, yes we had usual ups & downs but basically we had almost 21 years married, together for 23 years. After his Funeral my DD said to me "you have lost the love of your life", he was my soul mate. I was widowed at 57 & almost 5 years on am still single & independent.

I made mistakes but without those doubts & mistakes I wouldn't have many happy memories. Would I marry again - NO, I would love a relationship but not marriage. Que sera, sera

Annsixty, very interested in what you said as my husband has changed remarkably over the last 2-3 yrs, never quite know how he's going to react to anything, treading on eggshells here. Never considered dementia thought it was some sort of reaction to retirement and no longer feeling 'important' for want of a better word.

No never any doubt really it’s been a good relationship we have gone through lots of sadness lost our parents and our son. It seem to bring us closer together.
I do think my d got the best idea now for 21st century, has her own apartment and her partner has his own house they meet up, but still have there independence. It’s quite the normal thing to do now.

Had doubts but wedding plans were too advanced.As soon as the wedding was over I knew it was an awful mistake but stayed together for 25 years,mostly unhappy.
A great relief when he left.

Met my 1st husband at 15 married a week after my 18th birthday. He had a bit of a roving eye which worried me a bit but I was besotted with him. He left me 18months later for someone he worked with.
The second time I was really unsure and in hindsight I should have listened to my inner self. He was hard work and although never physically he was quite domineering. We had 2 wonderful daughters together. He left me after 15 years for my friend!!
I was determined never to marry again but less than 2 years later I met my current husband and my sole mate. I love him to bits and we have been married 19 years in May.

Yes I did with no 1: I had a baby with him in 1985 and the done thing was to marry from our backgrounds, if not before the birth afterwards asap. I went on to have 4 children including the eldest with him. Finally left him 17 years ago. Ex was violent btw.

No regrets or doubts when I married no 2, 10 years ago, I have known 16 years and been with 15. Took me along time to find my best friend and soul mate and then suddenly there he was ?

I burst into tears in the vestibule of the church on the way in and my darling Dad told me he’d take me home if I didn’t want to marry him. I pulled up my pants, blew my nose and wakes up the aisle. Just a touch of nerves.

It wasn’t easy, we had as many downs as ups (think interfering in laws), but we decided early on to be a team and that’s how we coped.

This year we celebrated our silver wedding anniversary- and 30 years together.

I’m glad to say I married my best friend - he truly is my soulmate.

I never had any doubts about DH and myself as were like two peas in a pod - very much made for each other. We were married for thirty years before he passed away.
However, I felt a bit uneasy about MIL - she was rather moody, pushy, and childlike - we had nothing in common. She became a problem for BIL as she aged because her character became more exaggerated and they didn't get on either.

Yes, I had doubts and I married late in life. Fortunately, things have worked out well enough, only the kind of ups and downs that I think are common to all marriages or long term relationships.

Marriage is I think very much a matter of what you make of it, unless one has been very unfortunate in ones choice, which can and does happen. Happily today, very few people feel forced to continue in an unhappy marriage.

May I say, how sorry I feel for the many of you who have husbands changing out of all recognition due to dementia? That must be horribly hard to cope with. Look after yourselves, dear ladies.

Just passed Golden Wedding, married very young lots of ups and downs but happy together we feel very lucky.

My hub and self took our marriage vows very seriously, and 54 years down the line have had a long and happy marriage with relatively few ups and downs, just been lucky I guess.

I had dreadful nerves the night before we married in 1969 and told DH we could always divorce if it didn't work out! My mother was of the opinion that once married you had to get on with it but both parents had passed away when we had a major blip at 35 years so I don't know what her advice would have been. We survived and both now appreciate what each has brought to the marriage over the years and what we would have lost if we had gone out separate ways.

I had no doubts when we married, even though I wasn't in love with him, but he was a good kind man who only had eyes for me and treated me like a queen which felt like heaven after my previous relationship. I loved him for that and I knew he was in love with me. We lived together for 2 years before we married. Both still here 45 years later, two children, and two grandchildren, so something must be right!

YES ! Both times and how I wish I had listened to my inner voice saying don’t do it !! I have listened closely to my inner voice ever since !