feeling dreadful and wounded

Hugs and Rocknroll.

Thank you you lovely people

Hope you have a lovely day, Rocknroll.

I only found out recently that it can be inherited. I've been checked out for it now.
Good luck from me too.

Good luck with your meeting today RR

10/10 loopylou. we're meeting up today. and thanks jeanie big hug to you too.
My brother died of this last year on his way to his daughter's wedding, to give her away. My dad also, at work. we are all on tenterhooks, the hospital says there is a 50/50 chance my children have inherited it. the trigger (missed meeting up) was minimal and never was the point it was the extreme reaction to it that was the point...that was the wounding which was the subject.
When I rang the inlaws and had a chat it turned out they knew nothing of this condition and were very shocked.
With no symptoms it is very easy to live in denial. We all do - it was the reaction that exposed the stress we are really under. We both, daughter and I, think or thought we had it under control. But it is such new news - I only got the letter from hospital with letters to send to close relatives to have their heart scanned - on Christmas Eve.
My daughter is going to South Africa on holiday in a week or so - I encouraged her and am looking after their dog - but I find it scary. We both do. I think we will both see this horrid episode as a warning. Thanks for reading and helping me sort it out

Text her
Would you like to come round for a cuppa and a hug, I need a big one. Love you

It seems to me its all over something and nothing. Re-focus and get back on speaking terms with your daughter. I don't understand it, I've never fallen out with my son, my sister, my brother or any close family about anything, so can't offer helpful advice.

R&R - my Dad had that condition and lived to 84. He never told us about it, but Mum knew - she used to make him eat an onion every day (cooked of course) as she'd heard it would be good for him.

This was my comment on another thread ..

I think it is important to be honest and that might mean saying hard things to the OP ...but I do think it is possible to give hard and honest replies without being hurtful, unkind or rude ...and I am sometimes genuinely shocked by the way views are expressed! The point is for someone to be helped by advice they have to hear it...and if it is expressed unpleasantly then they are less likely to hear it!
I try hard to point out to a poster if their reply is rude or unkind (as opposed to kindly honest feedback) ..interestingly often when I do, I either get an argumentative reply or I get ignored

That comment still stands for me, but lesson learnt today about thinking more carefully before I type!!

And I agree about posters being careful to include all key relevant information ...although I suppose when upset , they might inadvertently not. [hmmm]

Ingejones I apologise having re read my somewhat rushed comment - no excuse - I ended up guilty of at least some of what I said you were doing!!

In another thread about how people post, the tone they use and the rudeness in some replies, that I try to point out unkindness or rudeness to posters ...I still do ...but I certainly need to be careful I don't fall into the trap myself!!

Oh Violettle I do feel for you, such a lot you have had to bare & no D or stepD to help, how cruel is life. God Bless you I hope 2018 will be a kinder one for you xx

I should imagine that you touched a raw nerve with your daughter because she knew she should have let you know about the visit but probably wanted to go with just her OH.
She is very likely worried about you and worried about the responsibility of possibly looking after you.
Give her space and and moan to us .
Daughters can be jolly sharp at times. And I do take your point about being sidelined. We must stick together.

Well then. Lets hope that's an end to it then!

So sorry for the situation, but don’t think I would put up:with the shouting and prodding from any of my children
Hope things get better.

Yes I understand and after catching up with the thread I might well have posted a retraction or apology, if I hadn't already been scolded roundly.

Well, sometimes things only get remembered as you go along. Its a bit like having a chat in real life, you paint the outline then remember other relevant stuff.

PS, if people creating threads would have a read through their post and see if anything important has been left out - remembering we're text readers not mind readers, it would help everyone to make their replies suit the situation. Some of the threads are so fast moving and long people are not realistically going to read the whole thing and will quite reasonably assume the top post at least contains all relevant information that the poster want us to consider.

Camelotclub She needed me - as simple as that .

Well Madgran that's me well and truly wrist-slapped isn't it :D No I think they were posted while I was still typing actually, it's fast moving thread.

Rocknroll my DM was diagnosed with an abdominal aortic aneurysm at the beginning of 2016, very close to the time that my LTR ended. At first I didn't fully appreciate this condition and went online to investigate. What I read I didn't share with DM, she doesn't use the internet, and told her just to listen to her GP and consultant only. It was purely by chance that her condition was discovered and we are so grateful to her GP for this. Ironically, this GP is usually someone my DM avoids seeing, as she finds her a little brusque. This all happened at a very stressful time for me, going through a break up. I was climbing the walls with worry on top of all of the other things I was feeling and coping with and I don't live in the same country as her, so couldn't see her regularly. I'm not close to my DS and she's not a considerate daughter to my DM, so couldn't be relied on to provide support. The aneurysm grew very quickly and within a few months of diagnoses it had to be treated. Her treatment has been successful, thank goodness, but it was hell living through it. Your DD probably just needs a little time to breath and gather herself for this year coming. I wouldn't, however, tolerate being verbally attacked by her, regardless of your current circumstances. Ask your GP and consultant about the possibility of convalescing after your operation. I know a couple of people who have done this after open surgery and they were so glad that they did, saving them a lot of anxiety about relying on family. Wishing you well in 2018.

Thanks madgran
i can’ quite get my head round ingejones level of sarcasm after picking up the wrong end of stick... anyway.
Violette you have a lot on your plate and great attitude good luck and happiness
And some post about going back to babysit? Was that a mis posting to wrong forum or ?????
Anyway all will be well. Will do my best and you’re right Clakka it is good to share at least we can all see that we all have our problems and help each other along.

tired

Why the hell did you go back to baby sit after being screamed at??

Ingejones Have you read the more recent posts from Rocknroll??? ...presumably if you had you wouldn't have felt the need to be quite so unnecessarily unpleasant or have completely missed some key points that highlight the many facets of such situations. Even if what you describe was accurate, expressing it like that is hardly helpful, is it! And no, I am not suggesting that everyone should pussyfoot around or not be honest...before anyone suggests I am ...I am suggesting that we can give hard messages in a kind way (even though this hard message is somewhat unfair!!)