New Relationship

westerlywind just be aware that these forums are "anonymous but not invisible". They are public and anyone can read them.

I wish you all the best with your relationship. I agree with those who have said speak to your doctor.

Gabrielle8 - This is what we do.
We talk and laugh. I am under no pressure to do anything.
I feel a bit cheated in that I completed the responsibilities but now I am having a problem I never expected.
Thank you all

Definitely see your GP. In the meantime, keep the communication going between you and your partner. Communication is key. Why not forget penetrative sex until you feel more comfortable, and learn to give each other pleasure in other ways for now? Good luck.

Have a drink when you're together, maybe? Just not too much.

Do speak to a GP.
It's possible that you are not relaxing enough because of nervousness.
Maybe you could try spending some nights together, on the understanding that there will be no attempt at penetration?
That could help you both to be more relaxed with each other.

It should all work out beautifully. You have a lot to look forward to. Good luck!

Thanks to all ladies.
The confidence things was about making phone calls, gong out, speaking to general strangers like people working in shops or offices. I was also a nervy shaking wreck at first when he would put an arm round me. I am a lot better now.
We spend nights together sometimes. He is still working and doing shifts, so time is not all ours.
We talk about everything.
It appears that inside we think is OK, The problem is the actual entry! (Sorry to be graphic)
Neither of us wants to damage or pain the other.
Perhaps a bit of fear.
I will speak to lady GP and live in hope of this working out somehow.
Thanks to all

The lack of confidence certainly won't help matters either. Really feel for you. Good luck with your exciting future .

Hello and congratulations on a new opportunity for a new phase of your life. I am guessing here without being too explicit that you are feeling "rusty", "out of practice" and a little nervous. Some good advice above about finding a lady GP you can speak to or hand a note to. I also guess you would rather speak to someone older but in fact young people nowadays are so frank and relaxed about intimate matters that that should not hinder you. Don't let embarrassment or shyness close the door on a lovely, warm, shared future. You deserve this. This is your time - as you have said yourself! Be brave. I wish you well.

Just do it. My OH was a GP and believe you me he had seen everything there is to see and it was just his daily life.

Ask to see a female doctor; tell her exactly what is worrying you and she will sort it out in a businesslike way - really there is nothing that could embarrass a GP and there is nothing you can have that they have not seen before.

Don't pussyfoot around - spit it out!! What have you got to lose?

It all sorry

Just be totally honest with them . You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. They will help you or refer you . No need to be embarrassed . They've heard of all before .

You could write down a short note and hand it to whoever you make an appointment with. Just something like "I feel there may be some abnormality in the formation of my vagina. Please would you check it for me."

I will try to explain better. This is an anonymous place which is what I wanted when I contacted that local organisation, which I thought was a Womens' place.
For in excess of 25 years when I separated from my then husband I was bringing up several children, I had elderly persons with serious health conditions that I was helping/ caring for and I was also working. This left no time to go out and meet people.
Current situation is that the old people have died and the children are now adults. The stress of my situation made me ill. It is a permanent disabilities. I was tired and totally out of any confidence.
I met someone vaguely known to me. He has been so kind and built me back up in so many ways. He is not pushy. He is more angry about how I came to be like this.
Although I have children I have never had a vaginal delivery.
I do not think that the problem is age related dryness and in any case we have KY.
I think there is something "structurally" wrong about me.
There was great difficulty at my last smear test with inserting the speculum (sp?)
I have 2 nice female Drs at my surgery who have been decent with my other conditions. Perhaps giving them something similar to this would be the best way forward.
I want to have a full life now that my responsibilities are all dealt with.
Thanks all.

Or if you don't want then take the professional route as others have suggested.

Don't be shy here. If you feel no-one understands your problem we are women of the world. To understand though we need you to explain. X

That's a good idea, because it means your doctor will know exactly what the issue is.

It sounds like you are too embarrassed to speak openly and specifically about the problem and exactly what it is. How about write down the specifics, preferably bullet pointed if a number of points, go and see your Dr and hand your written explanation to them, just saying to them that you find it sp hard to discuss it but need advice

As a retired GP it seems to me you need an appointment to be examined by a nice friendly female GP. These problems are common and GPs are used to dealing with them. Try not to feel embarassed/shy - it is part of a GP's everyday work. Good luck. Enjoy your new relationship.

You might need to be a bit more explicit!

I would appreciate any help and information from posters on all and any aspects of the problem.
Are there any other people I should try to speak to?
I would also like to know what to do if another person I speak to assumed the wrong problem and how to be polite and quite graphic at the same time.
If any poster here has experience of the same circumstances I would be glad to hear how they dealt with it and hopefully how much their life has been improved.
Thanks

Do you want advice on who to talk to, or how to approach them, or are you thinking you'd like to ask members here?