Slight PIL problem

They are rude to ignore your wishes so I wouldn't bend over backwards for them. Your DH can tell them you need lots of rest and they could visit a couple of times for an hour or two. If they wanted longer for their memories they should have listened to you. I don't think it is good to reward their selfishness.

The thing is that she stresses me out when she visits and I don't want baby to pick up on that stress so think maybe two afternoon visits to start is good. I can nap and they can chill and cuddle the baby. Taking time out to bond with your baby is an excellent idea if conditions allow, which for us it does as we don't have family near to us - its good for mum and good for baby. and I don;t think its unreasonable to wait to see a child two weeks, think its ideal as it keeps mum company while hubby goes back to work

Cherish every visit. You don't know how much time your parents or IL have got. I think if they have travelled some distance one visit over 2 weeks is mean. I know it's not what you'd hoped for but perhaps they want to see their son too. Couldn't you let him have them over for an hour or two with the baby while you get some well deserved rest.

That's a long time though the whole day? I used to leak through my top and had stitches 'down there', I couldn't handle being around my MIL like that. I'd nap too.

Second time was slightly better but first time round was not pretty.

Midwives actually recommend that that you just 'sat and bond with your baby'. Which is why new parents are doing it.

Theres HV that come round the day you get home, and a few days after. Heal prick tests, baby weighing and hearing tests. There's alot of visitors. Don't exhaust yourself.

I would say half a day visit at most- mum will be tired and baby will probably be sleeping all the time anyway, so once they've had a peep, and maybe a cuddle after one feed, that would be enough. Maybe invite them to pop round for afternoon tea and cake, then you don't have to think about cooking them a meal ( unless they offer to cook for you). See how that goes before giving them another time to visit.

You sound very reasonable babybawn and that's nice to hear.

I have to say I agree with Paddyann about this whole
( and I think its quite new) thing about needing time alone although I take your point that it would be nice to have company after your DH has gone back to work .

Having said all that , and I'm not advocating a free for all because you don't need to be exhausted by visitors, your PiL do live in another country so after the 2 weeks is up they will be gone. Maybe they feel this and want to stock up on memories ?

As they're staying somewhere else could you not suggest
( and by that I mean tell them quite clearly) visiting hours are between ... say 2-4pm . They'll be waiting on themselves if they come and visits outside this time are just not acceptable.

If they can't fit into your schedule then tell them as nicely as possible , if your parents can wait then so can they. No need for arguments, not up for discussion.

As a grandparent though I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that every hour waiting to see the new arrival is purgatory and I was lucky enough to be invited for my first cuddle the day they each arrived. We made our visits short and sweet, and whilst I got baby time, Grampy did a chore that was waiting so we earned our time, weren't a burden and didn't outstay our welcome.

Maybe now its the time to have that totally frank, polite discussion with your PiL?

Good luck !!

Oh, not again.

I'd say about an hour 2-3 times a week?
Hmm, not so sure. The OP has said that her MIL "can be overbearing and passive aggressive if she doesn't get her own way". Giving them a one hour time slot may be difficult to enforce - what would they do when the time is up? Tell their PIL that they have to leave now? I think that's a recipe for disaster to be honest. Much better to tell them firmly that they can come for the day just once, and that later, after the baby's father has finished his paternity leave, they are welcome to visit again. Yes, I know they live further away, but this is about the parents' wishes, not the grandparents.

I'd let them visit but tell them in advance to come prepared to help ,if they're around they might as well be useful.I had a revolving door when mine were babies and I was happy to see folk except my sister who used to deliberately bang against the cot or pram to wake baby so she had an excuse for a cuddle.I dont altogether understand why todays parents want "time to bond2 they have the rest of their lives to bond ..GP's might not be around for that much longer.I'd want my kids to know them and spend time with them

I'd say about an hour 2-3 times a week? It depends on your labour and how you feel afterwards tbh.

Get your husband to tell them the plan before they come down so they know the drill.

I have to admit, I'd invite them to visit once - for the day only! Apart from anything else, it wouldn't be fair on your sisters, since they've agreed to go with what you want. There will be plenty of time for your ILs to spend more time with GC later.