Have we reached a crossroad?

Iluvcruz, Have you considered Viking River Cruises on the continent? Brilliant itineraries, good food, lots of daily walk abouts, excellent guides. It is possible to stitch a couple together, one trip across the channel, and have a proper lovely holiday.

We love the Gold coast. We make day trips in the rentauto. So much to see and the food is wonderful. I think next time we'd like to cruise around the continent, fly in and out to different ports.

Four!?

Goodness me, the place will be getting over-crowded.

Yes, I know four retired couples/singles who are out there now, and more going later or next year.
I agree about 'WantedDown Under', but that is a life change, not a holiday.

This is like an episode of 'Wanted Down Under' - one partner desperate to visit the promised land, the other refusing to go or being dragged there under protest.

I'm sorry if that sounds rather light-hearted iluvcruz but that is what I keep thinking of when I see this thread.

the go-to place for the retired this year
I didn't know that!
I didn't notice a sudden surge in British retirees last time I was there, but then we were off the beaten track.

We'd better not go this year then, could get caught up in an overwhelming mass of British grey nomads.

Iluvcruz, to me the crux of the matter is this.....

Do you think in your heart of hearts that once in Australia, your husband would enjoy himself?

To me that is the thing you need to think about. You mentioned other holidays which he agreed to reluctantly, but then once there he enjoyed.

I have got a couple of friends in a similar situation to you and your husband, and they both say that once away, their husbands DID enjoy the holiday.

If you honestly feel that he would then I, in your situation would definitely push. Good luck!

Iluvcruz:
You have never been on your own in your life, have you ?

You're not an adventurer, you simply enjoy exotic holidays, to see new places, but not to explore them.

If you are so desperate to visit Australia, the go-to place for the retired this year, I gather, go for the three month cruise option.
As your daughters think your marriage is so wonderful they will cheerfully manage child-care for three months without you, to enable you to celebrate it.

What can you be suggesting!

I am too old for wife swapping too.

You can go with Mrluvcruz Luckygirl and I'll go with Ilovecruz (not the cruise, though, the Australian trip!)

I feel exhausted just reading that! Not my idea of a holiday. Give me the Pembrokeshire coast path any day!

I think they've only got a month though.

To avoid longhaul flights, accomplish an easier itinerary London-Florida beaches-Portland, Oregon-Hawaii- Brisbane- cruise around OZ- Guam-SanFrancisco- New York-London.

If you ever get to plan a trip to Oz you will realise that 4 internal flights aren’t necessarily excessive but essential if you are to see the Cities/outback/Ayers Rock and Gt Barrier Reef

So if you still want to follow your dream, think and plan very carefully exactly what would be your 'top spots'. One big city, Ayers Rock (never been there) and Cairns? You could fly into Sydney, to Ayers Rock and then out from Cairns, so that would only mean two internal flights - if you go .

and they say that opposites attract.

Just imagine if you were both gregarious and outgoing - neither would get a word in edgeways

I don’t want a separation - I want to find a way that we can both be happy now we have free time and spare cash to enjoy it. It’s finding the how and what that is difficult.

There you have it. No need to reevaluate the whole to your relationship. You're different and always have been. Think to how this would read if he wrote "my wife wants me to visit with others instead to play with my gc. My wife wants to fly between cities and I want to bike-barge river cruise in France, off the boat at 10 and back onboard at 4, ride and stop along the waterways. (it is a grande cruise). I want to save, she wants to spend." Might it help to see the other side?

Thanks for the tip, Mawbroom, I think there to be a more direct approach.

It does sound as though he would go under duress, and I think it is often the case it is the THOUGHT of doing something that is off putting. Once you actually get there you can often enjoy it. I would talk to him and ask him to go reconsider going with you with an open mind. What have you go to lose? He may just need a bit of gentle persuasion.

iluvcruz my dear, you have it all! You are Pollyanna with bells on and have now, in the manner of an addict, got to have even more and more and then you will want yet more! I would advocate that you play the glad game as Pollyanna was taught and count up all those lovely things in your life for which so many of us would give their eye teeth. The greatest of these being that you have a very capable, kind and healthy DH who loves you. You have your own health, a good income, a lovely family which is close, a lovely home and are debt free I assume. This could change in the twinkling of an eye and has done for many of us on here. I don't think you have problems at all and that you are simply spoilt for choice so just be glad and count your blessings! You could even get involved in helping others less fortunate if you would stop navel gazing and look at how things are for those in the community!

By the way, having read this my DH says I shouldn't hold back and just tell it like it is!

So no it is not 'we' (as in you both) who have reached a crossroads but it clearly is 'you' so if you have not yet read Pollyanna now is a good time to do so and then give yourself a reality check.

Sorry - I meant to say DH not DS (at least twice in my post) - blame my muzzy cold filled head.

I was going to suggest a cruise to Oz and NZ but I see Jane10 beat me to it! I hate flying but have flown to NZ via Hong Kong because oh was in the army in HK and wanted to go. We cruised from NZ and ended up in Sydney. I keep saying my long haul days are over but oh lives to travel and I love oh. I live the holidays. I was dreading 9 hours to Settle but it was OK in the end. Sri Lanka next year for a wedding. Oh has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer and I'm so glad we've done so many fabulous trips. Fingers crossed many more to come.

Oh dear OP, you do sound bored with your life. I'm not sure why you need your DH with you all the time to enjoy things? Are you projecting your own dissatisfaction with your life onto him. A kind of "if only he was more sociable everything would be OK"
There are several alternatives that others have suggested but you don't want any of them. Maybe because you then wouldn't have him to blame when you didn't enjoy yourself.
Sorry, I'm not very good with people who for some reason want problems rather than solutions.

Yes, you have reached a crossroads but it's time for a good think about what you both want out of your retirement and not for drastic action.

The two of you seem to have a strong bond despite your differences and are a strong family unit. You both retired very early in order to care for your DGC and you chose to do that, but was it the best thing to do? Perhaps your DS is feeling a lack of purpose in his life as he spends time in front of the television, although tinnitus could be debilitating.
When DS retired (much later than that) whenever anyone asked if he was 'enjoying retirement' he said 'No, I'm Not', so in the end I encouraged him to join in with local activities, clubs and now he's out more than me.

Some couples, when they retire, seem to be 'joined at the hip' and never do anything separately. We have our own hobbies and activities but also do many things together.
Can you investigate your local groups such as WI, TG, U3A and find some outside hobbies that you enjoy while he is off cycling or walking, or taking it in turns to look after the DGC? Perhaps you could both join the NT as you could take the DGC to various places too.

As for Australia, I would have a re-think, don't abandon the idea but two long-haul flights plus four internal flights is too much in that length of time imo. If you can compromise perhaps he may change his mind. What about suggesting flying in to one city, staying there for a week then hiring a campervan, perhaps driving up the East Coast, then flying out of another city? Or join a cruise when you get there?
Friends of ours cruised all the way out to Sydney, spent a week there then flew home but that was quite a long trip.

I think the "introvert"/"extrovert" difference is key here, Iluvcruz. Dh can't help the way he is, anymore than you can help how you are. We're talking about basic personality here. And, of course, though 60 is still "young" in these times, you are both getting older and more set in your ways.

So I think you need to try to respect each other's differences. Not just compromise because you 'have to" - you've done that. I mean really try to understand and respect that the other has different social needs and don't try to nudge each other to be different.

Of course, there still has to be some compromise. Would dh be ok with the trip if you just stayed in one place and didn't do all that flying around (and constantly having to meet/deal with new people, I suppose)? Would he prefer to go someplace where you people have friends or family, so he would feel more comfortable? Would it help if you shortened the trip? Or just planned a cruise, as another poster said?

If none of these ideas are workable, then, I say, yes, go to Australia on your own. Again, maybe cut the trip shorter if you don't want to be away from him too long. And, maybe, get to do some things you wouldn't if her were there. Celebrate your Ruby some other way, either before or after you go, with a lovely dinner in and, perhaps, a good DVD and some wine or something. Make the trip about getting to be totally you and doing things you like to do.

In answer to your original post I think, yes you have reached a crossroads and you do need to evaluate your relationship. That doesn't mean it has to be a parting of the ways.
Forgive me,Iluvcruz but you sound exhausting; that frenetic itinerary for the proposed trip to Australia; no wonder he is digging his heels in. Why not compromise and consider Vietnam, with just a little cycling? You wouldn't want to spend a month cycling and walking; he doesn't wan't a month with six flights, two of them long haul. He has joined you in a pretty good range of holidays that you wanted so far.
I don't buy the 'he encouraged me to give up work' scenario. You clearly miss your job but don't seem to be able to leave your husband to his own devices. Go back to work , and if that is not possible (charity shops would not seem to be an option at present!) do something, ON YOUR OWN. Anything is better than daytime TV. Use some of the money you are wasting spending on holidays to fund activities where you can meet people, and spend some time away from your husband and family. Try listening to Classic FM. And playing with the children at a two year old's birthday party is a good thing to do; don't cross-question him about who he spoke to.
Go on the holidays of your choice with a friend or relative, but be warned: the wife of a friend became obsessed with cruising when she retired, refused to consider anything else. After the first three cruises her husband backed out; she goes for several weeks three times each year leaving him at home alone. She thinks.
If the lady concerned has anything to do with it he won't be there much longer.

Seems to me, being blunt, that you want to go to Australia, he doesn’t, you won’t go without him so it looks, to me, that you won’t be going. Seriously not the end of the world when you list all the places you have been together. I can’t get mine up to Derbyshire so I consider you’ve got a good man who has a mind of his own and the right to say no sometimes. Get over it. As we never know what’s just round the corner I’d give up the battle for now and enjoy the things you do share. Who knows, he may change his mind or other circumstances allow you to go down under.