Kind helpful suport with moving on from family estrangement

Thanks ms meptop it's 6.25 here and I have awful neuralgia In head, brought on by dreadful posts on original thread I guess all stress..

Never mind this is positive thread!

Have she few tears let's hope they healing.

Sorry am all cleaned out did loads yesterday, well overdue.

On bright note saw my dear twin brother, one whose grandkids we close to,
Also dh took me to a show forever In Blue jeans it was great just what I needed,

Hope everyone else slept better it's v cold here at moment msmmeptop is it summer still in oz?

Synonymous that's so awful for your poor husband.

Can't help thinking been 9 years I been sending cards to my estranged daughter and presents up until this year never ever hear back.
Imagine doing it for 30 years!
So sorry he passed before any reconciliation could occur I do dread that for myself but have had to accept it's likely.

Thanks for sharing that and wish your husband well.

Anyone in the mood for cleaning is perfectly welcome to call around here! It’s wet, windy, my eczema is playing up like billy ho ( stress induced) and I should be sleeping, but can’t. (On the night shift but last night tonight). Got some big decisions to make soon and chopping and changing my mind, need answer soon, hence eczema. Eek, need one of those magic 8 balls I think they’re called, but a crystal ball would be even better. Sorry I seem to be talking rubbish but it is the right of the sleep deprived. Stress is definitely not character building at all ?. Have heard the UK is in for some nasty cold weather. Please stay warm everyone, stock up on food and petrol: gas/ brandy and stay safe and cosy indoors., Sending you all some virtual ?. Take care x

Kitlong, so sorry you and your son are in this situation. Harder to see your son suffering as well as the grandchildren, a mother always wants to keep her child from hurting, no matter the age. Please take some comfort from the success stories from other posters. I hope you and your son have your own good news to post real soon x

Estrangement is a pretty weird thing to go through and until recently when we were cut out of a friends' group I had not experienced anything like it myself. I know that friends estrangement is nothing like family but it has given me an inkling of what it is like.
It is so sad that families get caught up in such things and it can be for a myriad of reasons. Maybe the worst thing is not knowing and not being able to find out. I can remember someone once saying about something, "Well, if you don't know I am not going to tell you" which makes no sense at all.
My DH's estranged older brother recently died and DH has been in bits about it as now there will never be a reconciliation. They never had a good relationship at all and when their parents died his brother cut off all contact and that is more than 30 years ago. All those years we sent cards and letters for birthdays and Christmas and never received anything back. DH never knew the whys and wherefores and now he never will and says he thinks it was just because he was born. He is starting to come to terms with it all but on top of everything else that has happened healthwise it has all been a bit much to deal with. We thought we would never know of any death before he was long dead but it turned out not to be the case. I am just thankful that DH is not well enough to even contemplate attending a funeral - how horrible is that?! On the positive side contact has now been made with the family so we shall see what that brings.

Message deleted by Gransnet. We don't feel this is in keeping with the supportive nature of this thread.

Kitlong I have also received PMs which I have never commented publicly on. It is not typical of GN and I hope it does not put you off. {flowers}

Good morning everyone I must get on with cleaning today.

Have been very upset by last nights posts on other "support thread" but heartened by kind support from unexpected posters!

Do hope we can all support each other in positive way on here.

Have good day all

Kitlong, you are so very welcome on this thread, so sorry someone has upset you, that is very unkind, and this thread is about kindness and caring support. Also about trying to focus on the positive, and whilst you must be grieving a lot at this moment in time, having to see your beloved son in such pain, and all of you denied contact with two dear little babies who need their family so much, the positive in your case is that certainly your son, and therefore you, will be awarded contact eventually. Then you will be able to offer all the love your tiny grandchildren have every right to, and what they deserve.

Yes that would be nice 123 flump but doubt anyone will admit responsibility.

If you reading kitlong I hope you are ok.
X

I hope kitlong comes back. Perhaps whoever sent the pm could apologise?

Good for him violet floss

It's tough for men as I may be wrong but in my limited xperience mothers often win the day.

A girl I knew cut off all contact with her 3 daughters father and told lot lies to court. He didn't have money or courage to fight it,
So sad I that case.

However it's much more common nowadays for fathers to get equal rights as mothers.

Kit, my friend has been through something similar.
He wasn't allowed to see his child purley through spite really, all because he broke up with her.
They went to court and she made him jump through every hoop...
Well he did! He jumped through every hoop and proved all she said was lies..
He now sees his daughter alot and has her overnight, special occasions etc.

Your son will get there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel

Gmelon that's very good don't know that song but "how can I give you my world if you won't take if from me, is excellent ."

kitlong, it is good to know things can work out and I hope it does for you. I am sorry someone was unpleasant and hope you don't judge us all.

Kit long you are very welcome on this thread and am sorry you didn't get help before.

Am so sorry this is painful day for you?Heartbreaking that the little ones pulled through only for you and ds to have fight for contact.

I am not sure what you meant by pms and hope no one has tried cause trouble this thread is very harmonious ??.

Although we try focus on positive we all have down times and are here for each other.

I do hope your sons gets contact and then you also please keep us posted,

123flump thank you very much for the kind words and for giving me hope - sounds dramatic but its already been going on for what feels a lifetime, so to hear a great "end" story is very positive!

Thank you for the pms - one offering support it, thank you, another that I don't care to comment on however I'll just say I wont be posting anything again, I really don't want to be involved in a site with so much background nonsense going on.

kitlong so sorry to hear that. I'm sure your are supporting your son and hopefully when he gets contact sorted he will include you. What a lovely day that will be.

I used to be the HR manager in a business before I retired. A young man I employed went through the same as your son, except it was one baby not two. I was asked to write a statement for CAFCAS (I think that is what they are called) and I did, his ex had told some terrible lies including that he wasn't trusted at work. The guy from CAFCAS talked to me after he got the statement and told me they were supporting him and he did get contact. It was limited at first and I think the first few meetings were supervised but he did everything asked of him and eventually got a midweek visit and every other weekend he had him for the whole weekend. There is hope.

Is this the right place? I tried to get some "support" at Christmas but the arguing by others meant it didn't happen. I haven't been on the site since but today is a bad day and I feel I want to write it down. My DS and his partner had twins last year that I posted about on here - very premature born at 28 weeks and weighed 735 grams and 910 grams, so very tiny. In hospital for a very long time but eventually came out when they weighed 2 kilos at around their actual due date. We were all so proud and thrilled and saw them regularly. Anyway long story short DS and partner split up and we now we don't see them (including DS who is having to go through court for contact and has been told it cold take up to a year or more), didn't see them for their first Christmas and today is their birthday. Happy First Birthday to our beautiful Grandchildren.

Thank you Celbran and Maddyone and all who have sent good wishes to me.

I am reading your posts about your situations and know how it is for you all.
All in differing circumstances but with the one common theme.

The thing that shines out of all of you is the love that is available to your families if only they would share in it.

"How can I give you my world if you won't take it from me"

a line from a Fleetwood Mac song "Go your own Way".

123flump you late m inlaw was so lucky she had you keep relationship going,

I guess our children seem like that to us even when adult but I agree we should respect the .
Sadly our daughter never seemed to respect us, it seems like another world all lovely cards and notes she wrote me,

Anyway mustn't get down this is a positive thread!

Totally agree maddyone gmelon I am on so pleased for you that is amazing.

Wonderful news for our positive thread,

How great you can Enjoy your grandchildren and son back in your lives.

I can't imagine it ever happening to us best I can do is focus on who we do have in our lives.

New h aids seem good! Dh survived root canal so far so good!

That is such wonderful news gmelon, getting your son back after so long must be such a joy. Our EC (that was) is our youngest, but jealousy was/is one of her issues, but the biggest issue is mental health, and with the treatment she is now getting we hope that we will get our girl back fully (by that I don’t mean we’re estranged, but the lovely girl she was.) She’s doing well now, but still needs quite a lot of support, physical support with the children. But overall, things are very different now than they were before. And I know there are successes and people shouldn’t give up hope, because my own sister estranged my parents for many years but eventually made contact again.
Mesmoptop, glad it’s raining for you as that is what is needed, here it’s another bright and sunny day, lovely.
Poor Mr C, I hope his dental treatment goes well Celeb, I don’t envy him, he’ll be glad to be home with a nice cup of tea when it’s all over.

Violetfloss that is so true. That was what caused the problems with DH and his mother, she always had to have the last word and be proved right, he was silly and childish even in his 50s according to her. A bit of respect and listening is always a good thing.

I have get moving. To h aid appt the. Root canal for dh?

Post more later violetfloss great see you post and you are absolutely right I must have not listened or realised that m y daughter was so upset when f inlaw died if only she had told me.

Wonderful to hear positive new gmelo more later.