Support for all who are living with estrangement (2)

Agnurse, are you a computer?

Rhinestone, may I suggest that your son needs counselling?

He's right of course about the horrors of sugar however he needs to understand that sometimes it's best to shut up.

Why respond to Agnurse? I can't see why you would read her posts. I just skip them.

Haven’t been watching this thread for a while, but I see agnurse has crawled out from under her stone to give opinions on things she knows sweet FA about.
Ladies, please don’t justify yourselves to her. You’ll get more satisfaction poking yourself in the eye with a sharp stick.

Sorry Rhinestone I hadn't remembered the incident as well as I thought I had.

IrishRose "given the bums rush"haven't come across that saying before; it's a good one.

Rhinestone please don’t feel you need to explain yourself to anyone, but especially not to agnurse. She is responsible for several gransnetters, myself included, not posting regularly. Simply because it’s exhausting having to read such unadulterated rubbish.

For someone who is neither a grandparent nor estranged from an adult child, it is quite sinister that she still insists in spewing out her totally incorrect and unwanted opinions.

Looking through mumsnet recently, she was also given the bums rush over there for her outdated ideas. Now, that really speaks volumes!!

Agnurse It was my birthday celebration. My two children had squabbled earlier in the day where I had to tell both of them to stop.
After dinner we were in the car. My GD asked for a piece of fudge I had bought for everyone . My son turned around to my daughter and put his finger in front of her face and called her a sh** Mother for allowing her daughter to eat fudge when he thought she had enough sugar that day. She yelled back at him smacking his finger away from her face. I turned around and yelled at both of them to stop. The next day I told each one separately how I felt. Both were wrong but he didn’t know that I scolded my daughter separately on the phone the next day for perpetuating the argument. I scolded him for starting it and giving unwanted advice . So he told us that the whole family is dysfunctional except him and he needed a vacation from us. Mind you he had estranged us the year before for what he called his own problem. That estrangement was not a result of us or his sister. My mother was in the car too that day and was physically sick the whole way home.
And that is the truth. All I did was try to stop the arguing and now my DH and I are being punished.

Chewy thank you ?

Back to Games...

Oooh Gary Barlowwhat a great night ladies.

Best part of the concert was when a lady, I'd say about 60 years of age, was taken on to the stage so he could sing 'A Million love songs' to her.

She was wearing a T shirt with 'DWUW to me Gary' written on it so he asked what it meant "do what you want to me" she replied.

She didn't stay on the stool provided for her for long. She sat next to him at the piano, put her arm around him, kissed him on the cheek and ran her fingers through his hair while he was playing and singing. It was sooo funny; good for her, making the most of her moment and good for him to.

The event that Rhinestone referred too agnurse was posted about in great detail some time ago. Rhinestone's son was extremely abusive to her DD at a family gathering to celebrate her elderly mother's birthday in front of the children and her mother who has quite serious health problems.

Rhinestone did her best to calm the situation down and was herself verbally abused. Perhaps you're not aware of the details of this very upsetting incident and if so, it might be advisable to know the full story before jumping in and yet again, automatically having a go at a poster living with estrangement.

You have estrangement within your own family at your's and you husbands behest. I've yet to see any poster, I'm pleased to say, on the occasions you've posted about your f.i.l., criticize you for the decision you've taken as unsympathetically as you're apt to criticize those who have been estranged.

agnurse please don’t attack Smileless or any others on this thread.

Emotional abuse here in U.K. is a crime too. Not just physical.

Do one please.

Just when things had calmed down again, up pops Punch to throw a spanner in the works. Dontaskme was spot on. F off agnurse, you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. Just butt out.

Dontaskme

Maybe "endorsed" was too strong of a word. Maybe a better choice would have been "supported" or "didn't respond negatively". Sadly, there are people who are willing to just write off someone's poor (even abusive) behaviour as "just the way that person is".

She slapped his hand away after he verbally abused her in front of her children agnusrse. The subject of this thread is emotive enough, it doesn't need to be made more so by your choice of rhetoric.

"She put her hands on him" and "physical assault" for goodness sake. The only questions it begs of me is where was his hand that made it necessary for her to slap it away?

Dontaskmedon't be done with GN and let the views of some deter you from posting.

I do have to wonder if its possible you endorsed her behaviour..

I say again F off agnurse you don't know what you're talking about or how comments like this make matters/people feel worse. Get a grip.

That's it, I'm done with GN

Dontaskme

Do you think that what Rhinestone's daughter did was acceptable? It's never acceptable to put your hands on another adult, outside of self-defense. From what Rhinestone describes, this was not self-defense. I agree that her son is being unreasonable in not speaking to them, but you have to admit, it does seem reasonable to ask the question of, what was Rhinestone's response to the incident? Putting your hands on another person is physical assault.

F off agnurse, you're the reason I, and probably others, don't post anymore (apart from this as you need to seriously f the f off).

Rhinestone

While I agree it's not reasonable for your son to dismiss you based on what his sister did, the fact remains that she put her hands on him. She can't do that. I do have to wonder if it's possible that you endorsed her behaviour, and that's why he doesn't want to see you. (Not saying this is what happened; just saying it begs the question.)

That's one of mine too Sparkly so I was thrilled when he sung it.

Wonder what your son expects you to do Rhinestone. Make your DD apologise for her understandable reaction to his bad behaviour!! Messed up thinking is something many of our AC seem to have in common.

I know his work and home situation have been a worry for you for some time but I didn't realise he was now homeless and with no job. I'm sorry. It must be a constant worry for you.

So now you know crazy. What would we do without some of the pearls of wisdom our DS's choose to dish out from time to time. Had a few, more direct comments, from our DS and always found a reply to give him food for thought.

Good reply.

Oh dear Rhinestone......my son and daughter have a similar relationship...son thinks my daughter is 'strange'...he hints that I was the cause, because I didn't give her much attention as a child ...I said "probably because you got all the attention"...that put him in his place.
Our problems never end eh?

Sorry but did I mention he is now homeless with no job as he refuses to work for anyone?

Good Morning from the states that bring you our horrible president. I feel like I have to apologize for our country to all our allies now. Don’t know if you have been following what’s going on but over two thousand children are separated from their parents who came to our border seeking asylum. They have dispersed some of them to thirteen states. I couldn’t sleep the other night thinking of these chikdren ripped away from their parents.
Well my son saw my mother yesterday for lunch. I texted him that we would love to see him and his new dog and that we won’t talk about anything other than his dog. I said we missed him . He wrote back ( at least) and said until his sister apologizes to him for slapping his hand away when they fought on my birthday, he so t see us. I told him he was holding us hostage based on him and his sisters relationship. ( He is the one who should apologize as he started everything calling her names in front of her kids about her parenting)
So there you have it. His thinking is all messed up. Such an entitled child who is not looking in the mirror at himself. My heart breaks for me and all of us.

Lionel Richie.....swoon, Smileless... I used to love Commodores songs with him as author/songwriter and main singer....

One of my favourites of his solo songs is Penny Lover.....

Goodmorning Smileless and the rest of our GNs ....
Wow Smileless ...I love Lionel Richie and Gary Barlow....don't know the others.
Lucky you !

Morning ladies. What a great night last night when we went to see Lionel Richie; even Mr. S. got up for a little dance.

We are so lucky to be living here, just a 15 minute walk from the open air theatre and Gary Barlow on Friday and Nile Rogers and Chic on Sunday.

Life is good.

Alexa living in the hear and now is the best way I cope. Also I am good at distracting myself - if I feel the pain of estrangement with a memory and I am really feeling, my mind has learnt to quickly distract me by doing something or focussing on something else...

Yes crazy they're our neighbours and are fast becoming the daughters we never had.

I don't know why Dolcelatte but I feel certain you'd know if she wasn't alright. Our dear friends who live in the village we used too, often see ES's wife but haven't seen him for several months.

I never mention him to DS but don't doubt he'd tell us if there was anything wrong.