Support for all who are living with estrangement (2)

Smileless and Luckylegs thanks for your efforts in organising a meet up.
I’ll PM both of you.

Have a good weekend away.
Let’s hope we have a cooler one!

PS Thanks for the link PECS I'll have a read when I have more time.

I big warm welcome to you Bookatbedtime. I always have mixed emotions when we get a new poster who is living this nightmare.

I'm pleased that you found this thread because I know how supportive everyone is here and how important it is to 'talk' to those who understand. I admire your courage because it takes courage to post for the first time about such a heart breaking situation. It is always very sad though, to hear from some one new whose heart you know is breaking because of estrangement.

I agree Luckylegs that meeting up would be a challenge but from what I know about all you lovely ladies I'm convinced it could be arranged.

So, we have 2 who live in Wales, I live in North Yorkshire and although I drive, public transport would be my choice and Mr. S's as I have no sense of direction. I'd be more than happy to stay over night which judging by the distances between us would be practical.

As a starting point Mr. S. has suggested Coventry, as that would be about the same driving distance from here as it would be from South Wales. This is just a suggestion though, it depends where everyone else lives.

Can I suggest that all who are interested either post on here the general area they live or for the sake of privacy, pm Luckylegs or me.

We are having a weekend away this weekend which might explain why, after weeks of sunny weather this weekend is going to be wet.

We've just dropped our little dogs off and it's been a wrench for me as this will be the first time our puppy wont have had me around at nightso I'm just hoping that she'll be OK. It's just for 3 nights so a good way to ease her in.

I've asked them to text Mr. S. in the morning to let us know how she got on. Am I an over the top worry wart about my fur babies? Of course I am.

www.theguardian.com/law/2018/may/07/mps-seek-to-guarantee-grandparents-rights-to-see-children whilst this does not affect me I thought it might be of interest.. and maybe a ray of hope..for some of you. Maybe even a result of your lobbying.
Sorry if this has already been posted but 34 pages is a lot to go through!

crazyH ditto..

Sparkly,
Thanks for your message. I have replied. Check your inbox

I think realustlrealistically if rookie do want to get together for a meet up, it has to be somewhere central as people are far and wide. Somewhere you can drive to if you do, get a coach or a train, so that you have a few hours at least. I know a well known up market magazine had a forum, they used to meet every year at a different venue, it was Ireland, Birmingham, Oxford and so on.Some that lived not too far away just used to have a day or afternoon. There used to be morning coffee,lunch and evening meal at different venues that the one hosting sorted out, you could go to one or the lot. They still carry on doing them. Of course if you live within striking distance if someone there is nothing to stop you meeting for lunch or coffee.

I will inbox you crazyH I don’t drive I’m afraid...

Great Sparkly -I'm not a good driver - I only drive as far as Talbot Green, since they changed the road systems in Cardiff - but I could take a train to Cardiff- OR - why don't we meet halfway......do you know the Outlet in Talbot Green...we could have a coffee in M&S.....think about it and let me have some convenient dates

South here too crazyH coffee in Cardiff?

Where Sparkly? South, North or Mid ? I am South.

Bookatbedtime, we are all in the same boat and here for you, glad my post helped a little, if you can honestly say hand on heart that you did your best and loved your child who can do more. No one is perfect we all at times might say or do something that is taken out of context which can be used a an excuse not a reason to start severing contact. We blame ourselves, we try to make things right although we have done nothing wrong. If something is not right in a loving relationship you don't behave like that, you would have no family or friends left, if you did, you sort it.
I think it would be good for those that want to to meet up to do so but with people at such distances it might be a challenge.I will put my thinking cap on.
I was ashamed for years, no one knew not even my close family and friends, but a few had guessed, now it is out in the open and it doesn't get mentioned because I am not ashamed of me any more, because I never have or wouldn't do that.

It is hard not to talk to one's other children about their siblings/sibling partner behaviour ...but I realised best not to as it can cause upset and anger that can make situation worse ...I hope that even if the worst happens for us, the siblings might keep a relationship going! So I understand your keeping it minimal googoogool

Isn't it strange for us to be embarrassed. I bet the other parties think we will be critical of them and gossiping. But actually like you I can't discuss it with any one except my other children and thats minimal as don't want to influence them, they quickly picked up though that things are bad. Keep checking in and posting, it helps to unburden to a caring group.

Bookatbedtime,I know the feeling of embarrassment and feeling ashamed of being in this situation too.

I couldn’t tell anyone for a long time.

Finding this thread on Gransnet was a life saver, but I wasn’t brave enough to post for a long time, also am wary of exposing myself when in such a vulnerable position.

Yes, people can be very judgmental, cruel even.
But I have found those of us in this situation have given much support to one another and that’s what matters.

Take tiny steps and be kind to yourself

Bookatbedtime I am so pleased you have posted, it takes courage to do so sometimes. You will find support here from us all who have or are still going through this truly horrible situation.

Thank you Googoo and Madgran I appreciate your kindness. I haven't told anyone in the real world as I feel so ashamed and embarrassed.

I am in Wales too crazyH

Bookatbedtime so sorry you have joined the ranks! I haven't but fear it endlessly!

I know your post is directed to Luckylegs9 but just wanted to say, glad you felt able to join in Bookatbedtime. It is a very lonely feeling without the support of those on GN. We understand your pain.

LuckyLegs9 thank you so much for your last post. I have been lurking here for months. When I first joined GN I used to tell my friends about these families that had been CO by their AC and how shocking it was, but since March I have joined your ranks. I have been afraid to post before because I do not think I feel strong enough for any criticism I may be due but your post summed it all up and I realised I am not alone. Tears are running down my face as I type, I just cannot thank you enough

Count me in - I'm in Wales

Brilliant idea!! Can I come?

That would be so nice.

Party? Yes.