My son in law has walked out

That is so difficult Nanny you must be feeling sad and hurt for your daughter and the children. As others have said don't make any adverse comments about your son in law especially in front of the children. He is their father and they will be upset enough. Be there to support and help where you can. I've been there and its hard not to take sides,
I hope your family gets through this ok.

As everyone else has said be supportive to your DD andGC and don’t say anything nasty about the SinL.
Mine left my DD when she was 7months pregnant and she divorced him. 16 months later they got back together. Thank goodness I managed to restrain my usual opinionated tongue!
You can privately think what a b**** he undoubtedly is but....

Thank you for all your comments. I’m giving all the practical support I can, although not easy being 180 miles away. I’ve come to stay for a few days and she knows I will come whenever she wants.
I just don’t know what to say to her, other than cliches and platitudes.

Nannyto3. I am truly sorry for your daughter. She must be feeling betrayed in many ways.

I am not making light of this horrid situation, but when it happened to me the people who helped me most sort of said I'd been dumped, like I was not the only wife to have married a superficial little man who could do such a thing without a clue as to the damage he caused.

My kids were adults however. I imagine your grandchildren need to hear often that Daddy loves them very much.

I'm sorry to read about this. I feel that "social media" can be like the tabloid Press, a form of gossip and sensational "reporting". She could block her (ex)husband on Facebook (and so could you of course) and also block anyone who feels the need to point out any hurtful comments or posts. Or she could de-register her account.

Just be there for her and for the girls - they must be devastated too.
How insensitive to paste pictures on social media, I suppose that is the way of the world these days, but does he not realise how hurtful that is?
However, it's best not to take sides whatever you think of him as he is still their father and I hope will want to maintain a good relationship with them. Your DD may have to do that too for the sake of the children.

It will be difficult and she will need your love and support.

Your poor daughter and grandchildren. As others have said, just be there to support them. As parents we would rather suffer ourselves than see our children and grandchildren in pain.

Keep in close, supportive contact is all you can do really. It's possible your daughter will be feeling unworthy or unattractive right now so a card detailing all that's amazing about her might help to combat those feelings a little.

So sad - you must be very upset for her. All you can do is be by her side; and not take sides in front of the GC - so hard to do!

So sorry to read this Nannyto3, so hard for you all, & sometimes it’s harder to bear when it’s our children, as we are helpless to put it right for them. Just being there ,as a big shoulder, with a listening ear & a helping hand with the practical stuff & especially finding out abou rights , finances etc. Best wishes , you will get through it

Oh so sad....I'm not good in a crisis, so I really can't offer much advice. My daughter went through the same thing, but when she found out about the affair, she asked him to leave. In her case, the other girl was pregnant ????Hope your daughter is coping....be there for her and her children and offer practical help. Sometimes, she will find it easier to talk to her friends....hopefully, she has got good friends round her.
All the best!

That is very sad Nanny. All you can do is be there for your DD and GC. Try not to say anything against your SIL especially in front of the GC in case with time things are patched up. Behave as normally as you can . With time things will improve. Hugs.